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NOW it Feels like Sunday Again…

20 Sunday Jul 2014

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Wow.  I took the longest blogging break yet here in fivenineteen land.  Enough to where a couple of my followers out there were wondering what was going on!  I was actually flattered by that to be honest.  It IS a nice relaxing ritual to write in here, usually on Sundays…it’s a nice rhythm in my life and has been for nearly 5 years!!

But I guess I needed a break.  I gave myself permission to not force myself to write “just because it’s Sunday.”  Never should feel like an obligation in here.  Rather, it’s a joy.

Since my last post I’ve been heads down in the job hunt.  Being out of work sucks ass but I was fortunate to be a job seeker in a strong economy with TONS of great leads.  Every recruiter and hiring manager I spoke with sounded like they were absolutely buried in work.  And surprised by it too!  I guess we instinctually feel it’s summertime and things should therefore slow down a little bit?  Not so much!

So job hunting was my full-time job since I got abruptly cut from my contracting gig of 14 months back on May 22.  Head down here on the home laptop.  On the phone every day talking my battery down to near zero.  Keeping my job search spreadsheet up to date while claiming unemployment benefits.  The good news is that I have started a new job just recently on 7/17 – another consulting engagement slated to run a year – at a company I’ve consulted with before.  In fact this is Gig Number Five there for me – wow!  So it’s like putting on a somewhat-familiar shoe again.  There’s comfort in that for sure.   Now, I AM taking a slight pay cut compared to my last engagement but hell, it’s a LOT more pay than collecting unemployment!  So I’ll try not to sound ungrateful, but on the other hand the consulting firm is getting somewhat of a bargain with me.

Before accepting this new position I had a wonderful interview experience…traveling out of town!  I interviewed for a full-time, permanent position with a company based out of Indianapolis, but has a small office here in the Seattle area.  I was pretty much treated like royalty door to door, with my plane trip booked, nice hotel to crash in overnight, and car service wherever I needed to go.  A truly outstanding interview experience.

And even preparing for the interview swooshed along like a dream.  I knew I needed something nice to wear for the interview, but after a now FORTY pound weight loss since July last year (YES!) I barely had any clothes that fit, and certainly not anything corporate interview appropriate – where I’ve worked it’s so casual!  So once again the fantastic sales associates at my favorite Nordstrom  came to the rescue and found me a fabulous new black pantsuit and top to wear underneath…and did a rush overnight tailoring job for me as well, no charge.  WOW!!  The pantsuit fit like a dream, and the sales associate about burst into tears when she saw me in it (I had shared my weight loss story with her meanwhile).  And I teared up too.  I felt like a million bucks…and wearing a (US) size 10 made me feel really happy about my accomplishments  (I was around US size 16ish at my heaviest last year).

What a difference on that plane ride too!  I hadn’t flown since last July, before starting the Lean Eating for Women program.  I actually felt somewhat comfortable in those tiny airplane seats!  And I can cross my legs when I’m sitting now too!

The team who interviewed me was great.  Good, positive energy in the building, and frankly I rocked the interview.  Got whisked back to the airport right afterwards and flew home.  Got home, wrote my thank you notes and waited.  But then THUD…after all that wonderful, personalized attention I got a generic “we’re looking at other candidates” follow-up email a couple of days later.

It was a let down.  I won’t kid you there.  Felt like I got kicked in the stomach.  And I cried a little. I gave myself permission to be sad about it, but only for one day.  I was so hopeful that would have been my ticket off the eight-year contractor merry-go-round.  But not this time, nope. Then it was time to move on.  It still was an amazing experience, and who knows down the road where it could lead.

I was grateful to have the other offer still on the table and still available for me to slide into.  I’m trying not to look at it like a second choice or consolation prize…after all I’m in a VERY fast-growing and highly visible area of the company I’m now working at.  And the team is dynamite – very positive and hard-working, but also laid back.

So now…ahhhhh, the ritual of Sunday.  Laundry.  Blogging.  And food prep for the week ahead.  Funny how when I’m not working things like that became a nuisance and drudgery.  Well, not the blogging part of course.  I just needed a short break.

But I’m back now.

Intuitive Eating Checkpoint…and an Updated Supplements Rollcall

17 Wednesday Apr 2013

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TurmericTime for an off-cycle post to keep y’all guessing…typically I post on Sundays but I was a little tied up and tired last Sunday.  J and I are continuing to tackle my beyond messy garage, and last weekend was focused just on icky cobweb removal and sweeping.  Yep, it was that bad.  Next up is another round of sweeping and then some TLC to seal up the cracked concrete that’s letting in trickles of water whenever it rains.  Yes, it literally, really and truly all “rolls downhill.”  Gotta love living at the bottom of a steep hill, and who knows where the uphill drainage problems lie.  Plus, my garage is mostly below ground level.  Then, we PAINT!

I can’t believe that this Friday marks one month at my new job!  Job shifts can be both abrupt and uplifting when you work short-term consulting engagements as I’ve done since circa 2006, and/but I find they also provide a huge opportunity to revisit my workweek routines and make changes!  How exhilarating!

I continue to practice Intuitive Eating  as a way to swear off the diet mentality once and for all.  And also with the long-term goal to normalize my weight…gradually and without hunger!  This is a daily journey of discovery, and every day I feel more confident about the choices I make and I steer far away from judging myself or criticizing myself on how “well” I did on any given day.  That comes right down to thinking about food differently…meaning, there’s no such thing as ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ food. It’s just FOOD!  And what one might typically label as “junk food,” is better known as “play food.”  I love that! 

A new work routine is perfect fodder for reshaping my eating habits.  In my previous job, for example, I would typically skip breakfast as I was constantly running late and was facing an unbelievable 45 minute suburb-to-suburb commute.  What a head scratcher!  Toward the end of that work assignment I discovered Intuitive Eating and I began bringing stuff to work like granola to enjoy with milk (the company provided beverages free of charge) or I would just go grab an early lunch.  And I also started enjoying mid to late afternoon mini meals which I previously had avoided, thinking I would somehow “spoil” my dinner appetite. I brought in meal replacement shakes I had purchased over a year ago for a 5-day cleanse I was too chicken to try and ended up mixing them occasionally with milk – they’re perfect as a midday snack rather than the torture of using them to replace meal after meal for days in a row!  I also started bringing in snacks such as unsalted almonds.  And I started enjoying V8 juice something fierce.  I listened closely to my body’s internal cues and really began Honoring My Hunger. 

Now my work commute has shrunk to a glorious 15 minutes in the morning and maybe a half hour tops in the evening.  And our team has an unwritten rule that no matter how hectic things might be…get away from your desk for 30 minutes and take a midday break!  Granted that break might be at 11:00am some days and 2:00pm other days, but take the break!  We have a significant team presence in Atlanta, 3 hours ahead of Seattle time.  So I am often on conference calls during traditional lunch break hours here on the west coast.  I find that Intuitive Eating works wonderfully in these types of constantly changing midday mealtimes, and I love it!  I’m moving into a routine of eating 2 smaller meals during the day anyway…two “mini lunches,” and it seems to work well keeping me feeling satisfied and not stuffed and bloated.

Given our cafeteria could use some competition of sorts (and given I was royally spoiled by the massive, spectacular food service provided at my previous job), I’m starting to bring more of my own food in to work in a cool lunch tote bag that’s insulated with foil to keep food warm or cold.  What’s in the bag? 

  • Raw, unsalted almonds
  • Organic walnuts (look up ‘health benefits of walnuts’ and you’ll be astonished!)
  • Yogurt-covered raisins
  • A can of low sodium V8 juice (perfect for a midday pick me up; I’ve sworn off soda completely during the workweek – even sparkling water – as it’s no longer free of charge in our work vending machines)
  • String cheese
  • Greek yogurt (I’m still experimenting with what I like and don’t like, but I do enjoy the tangier taste of Greek yogurt compared to traditional yogurt.)
  • Gluten free pretzels
  • Baby carrots

I also enjoy a sweet treat occasionally, such as when someone brings in donuts or other pastries, or when I take a fun swing by a co-worker’s desk who always has tons of small candies in a glass jar. (That’s the “play food” I mentioned earlier; sometimes nothing will do but a couple of Tootsie rolls.)  And I go through water by the gallon.  I gave up Diet Coke in early January 2010, and now I’m losing my craving for canned, sparkling sodas as well.  I do think this has cut down on my tummy bloat, but we’ll see how that pans out long-term!

And, knock on wood, I’ve yet to come down with any sniffles or illness this calendar year!  I’ve built on the arsenal of supplements for staying healthy post I did earlier this year and thought I’d share what else I’ve discovered.

I take most of my supplements in the morning before heading to work, but also take a few in the evening before dinner:

Morning routine:

  • 1 glass of low sodium V8 juice
  • 1 glass of buttermilk (I know, I know, this can trigger gag reflexes in many of you, but I love buttermilk – I adore the slightly sour and tangy taste and also how it fills me up – that’s my Dad’s genes at work)

Morning supplements:

  • Concentrated fruits and vegetables
  • Antioxidants
  • Double X supplements – I alternate this daily with the two supplements above. This is a 3-tablet turbo boost of vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients.
  • An Omega-3 supplement. This is especially important to me now, as I’m no longer in a position to regularly enjoy some good seared salmon during the day at lunch.
  • Evening Primrose Oil:  I actually take a capsule of this both in the morning and in the evening.  Ladies, if you’re mid 40-something like me and the hormones are a-changin’, this is a great way to even everything out.  It lessens food cravings and cuts back on PMS mood swings (not that mine were ever anything severe, thank goodness) and breast lumpiness/tenderness, which is typical prior to your period.  But check out the link for more, as its benefits go far beyond anything strictly female-related.

Evening supplements:

  • Evening Primrose Oil
  • Milk Thistle and Dandelion – a great protectant of your liver.
  • Turmeric – my goodness read up on the health benefits of this herb…astonishing!  And next time I will likely order a refill through this website for a far better deal than at my local grocery store.  I debate between spending a lot on supplements vs getting a discounted version. 

After all, what could be more important that what we put into our bodies to fuel and nourish ourselves?  Shouldn’t we seek out the very best?  It doesn’t have to be the most expensive product per se, but I’m all for finding a bargain wherever possible.

Cheers!

Jet Lagged Sunday

24 Sunday Mar 2013

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If this post doesn’t make a lot of sense or if sentences drift away before they’re completed, here’s why:  I’m wired and tired. 

GREAT news that I did indeed grab the next trapeze bar…meaning, I have a new job!  And what perfect timing it was to get the offer accepted and all paperwork completed – I had a couple of weeks to truly decompress without the stress of job hunting and rest the ol’ brain and body.  I absolutely loved my last work engagement.  But it took me a good week to really mentally unwind and cleanse myself of the day-to-day stresses a job brings.  And I had a fantastic mini road trip down to Oregon to visit my wonderful friend D and then back into southern Washington to see my youngest brother and my nephews and niece!  Perfect way to cap off time off – get outta Dodge for a while!

Now it’s back to the grind – a new type of grind – as I get acclimated into my new job.  I’m at a completely different company than the one I was at prior, in a different industry and doing a slightly modified form of the Project Management work I’ve specialized in since circa 2001.  I contracted at this company 7 years ago, and boy have I grown since that time!  I’m really enjoying observing how things have changed and yet not changed in those years since I was last there.  It’s going to be a tough engagement, but I’m rested, happy and ready. 

One component of this job is running backend technology updates and deployments…and that means working overnight one weekend a month.  I knew this going into the job interview, plus I knew the schedule was set up in advance – it’s not an on-call type of scenario.  But – surprise – little did I know that THIS weekend (Saturday into today) was one of those deployment weekends!  My new manager gave me the opportunity to decline participating in it given it was short notice, but I said no, I’m diving in as long as you think I could provide value given I’m so new. (Otherwise, I’m happy to stock up on sleep!).  The only way to learn and get accustomed to something new is to just dive right in, observe and jump in wherever it’s needed!

So, I did.  Starting at – gulp – 3:00 a.m. this morning.  Yes, that’s the middle of the night.  Which meant attempting to get into bed much earlier than I normally do in order to force some sleep…while trying not to stress that the alarm really WAS set correctly to wake me up around 2:15 a.m. with enough time to throw on some comfy clothes and drive to the office.  I was surprised how many cars were on the road at that insane hour, actually!

Now I’m home, happy and sleepy but mentally replaying how well everything went with the team during the deployment despite the issues we encountered.  I don’t dare take a nap for fear of making my ‘jet lag’ even worse to where I won’t be able to sleep tonight.  I feel like I do when I get home from late night hockey games. 

Except it’s daytime and I’m not nearly as sweaty or stinky.

The Next Trapeze Bar

03 Sunday Mar 2013

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And I’m off…flying…with no idea which bar I’ll grab next!  Wow, this is a kooky, exhilarating feeling. 

My work assignment wrapped up on 2/28.  And what an incredible sendoff from my co-workers.  A nice card, cupcakes to share and a very generous gift certificate to Bellevue Square.  I was moved beyond words and got a little choked up reading the card.  Definitely not a typical way to finish up a consultant’s assignment [I’m not an employee of the company where I was working]!  But these past 19 months have been anything BUT typical.  And, at risk of sounding like a broken record, they’ll be a hard act to follow.  Sometimes you strike it lucky and land with a team where everyone resonates…the ensemble sings in harmony.  The chemistry works – the right mix of personality types is there.  People respect each other’s differences, as much as we can drive each other crazy sometimes.  The unexpected bursts of laughter ringing through the common office wall I shared with our Senior Director.  Whenever I felt burdened or stressed at my desk and would hear that infectious laugh I couldn’t help but smile. 

Now I’m in that giddy and sometimes scary limbo-land.  Whatever I land next is going to be completely different – a paradigm shift of culture, energy, expectations and work style.  And this is typical when you do short-term consulting engagements as I have for the past nearly 7 (!) years – mostly.  There are huge shifts to make to zoom into a new environment.  And it requires a strong mix of enthusiasm and self-confidence that comes with experience, and an open mind like a sponge.  The ability to listen and make connections quickly.  To introduce yourself to people on your own if whomever is bringing you onboard doesn’t have the time to do it.

Right now I’m very pleased with the volume of leads out there and the amount of networking and interviewing I’ve squeezed in since January.  And while I don’t like to get into specifics here as many of you know, I feel good that something new is going to materialize soon.  I just don’t know what it is!  But I have faith that whatever it is, it’s the right next thing for me.

And as the calendar flips to Monday tomorrow, I’ll be on pins and needles waiting for a phone call with feedback on my frontrunner job opening…on whether it’s a go or not.  It’s so tempting to just stop and catch my breath and wait, but I know myself too well.  Sitting around waiting for an uber-anticipated email or phone call just makes time grind to a halt!

What to do?  I remember the advice I’ve given to others in this same position – STAY BUSY!  Keep networking!  If you’re in between jobs, keep busy by getting in the gym to blow off stress, get outside for some fresh air, get out of the house and meet colleagues/contacts for lunch and continue to interview elsewhere! 

Nothing is a done deal until it’s a done deal!

More Intuitive Eating Journeys!

24 Sunday Feb 2013

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Middle Fork Sno RiverWell hmmm!  I unintentionally took a mid-winter break of sorts last week with no post!  As much as I relish this Sunday writing ritual (and I hope you all do too!) I do enjoy a mental break a couple of times a year.

I went on an amazing hike last Sunday – my first ever winter hike – along the middle fork of the Snoqualmie River.   From the gorgeous scenery, the patches of snow on the trail and the sounds of the beautiful rushing river below, this is a must-see.  And it’s not a super extreme kick-your-ass type of hike either.  I was glad for that.  J does quite a bit of hiking, while I in contrast have 10-year-old hiking boots I’ve probably worn 10 times or less, so I’m definitely a novice.  I’m just not a super outdoorsy person, despite living a short drive from so much to explore outside of the city and suburbs.  So it was nice doing a radical change of scenery while feeling safe and having fun with someone who knows his stuff and how to navigate the twisty turning access roads like a champ.  Who knows…I just might rediscover hiking this spring and summer!

On the Intuitive Eating front I feel like I lapsed back a bit these past couple weeks…back to my habit of unconscious eating.  Meaning, eating lunch or snacking while I’m at my desk at work, or absent-mindedly munching on pasta for dinner while on my couch watching TV.  Or inhaling a protein bar while driving to work.  Just not really paying any attention to the food itself, how it tastes or how full I’m getting.  And all of this is perfectly OK!  I know it deep down and the assurance of my coach sealed the deal.  My life has been full of lots of additional stresses and noises, and it’s only been a growing crescendo recently.  I’m wrapping up my current work engagement in T-minus 4 days while interviewing for another one.  I love the experience that interviewing provides, and I have a lot more confidence doing it this time around, whether it’s over the phone or in-person with a panel.  My work engagement was a roaring success with an amazing team…they’re gonna be a hard act to follow!  Contrast that to when I was out of work a few years ago.  I felt broken and empty. My self-confidence had taken a beating after 7 or 8 months of not working.  THIS time around it’s a different story.  It’s energizing…but exhausting.  I come home from work mentally fried after fielding an interview or two that same day.  And I haven’t been exercising as regularly as I’d hoped I would to blow off that stress.  I finally got back in the gym yesterday for the first time this year!  What a joy that the typical New Years crowds have died down!

My coach recommended a wonderful exercise to practice when I’m feeling in a whirlwind, fried and running on adrenaline. It’s 3 minutes of mindfulness…of sensing my body, where it’s touching surfaces like the floor or a chair…then noticing the sounds I hear around me…and lastly what I see.  And a few deep breaths!  That’s the high level content of the exercise and yes, it works!

I thought I’d post today about one of the 10 principles of Intuitive Eating.  Sometimes (rather, often times), writing things down helps the ideas and concepts seal into my brain. 

Principle 1:  Reject the diet mentality.  Yeah, this one’s a DOOZY, especially this first part of the year when it seems just about everyone is making resolutions to lose weight and trying all sorts of diets or cleanses and gleefully posting about them on Facebook or in water cooler chit-chat at work.  Here’s what the authors have to say about this oh-so-challeging-to-grasp first principle:

“Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you the false hope of losing weight quickly, easily and permanently.  Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight.  If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.”

Hoo doggy…how’s THAT for a polarizing few sentences?  Flies right in the face of what most of us (well, many I know) have been taught through society expectations and peer pressure, doesn’t it?  What do YOU think about this first principle? 

Yep…”get angry at the lies.”  That’s powerful stuff!  When a diet ‘failed’ and I gained back all of the weight and then some, I immediately pointed the finger at myself, that *I* was the once who blew it.  Know what?  It was the DIET…NOT ME!  I’m really trying to get the clanging gong in my head once and for all that DIETS DON’T WORK! They are THE quickest way to short-circuit a healthy relationship with food. And like my coach says, “once you have made that mental shift, you can’t un-ring the bell.”  It reminds me a bit of the workshops I did last spring which celebrate men and women and our differences.  Talk about an illuminating new point of view!  Once you really let it sink in, there’s no going back.  Ever.

There’s much, much more about this first principle in the book…and there is a very detailed 4-step process on how to go about rejecting the diet mentality.  I promise you, this content is worth reading through several times.  We are so diet-obsessed in this society and readily identify with a choice to diet no matter what it is…and yet the Intuitive Eating process is quite often met with confusion or dismissal.  Listening to internal cues, eating what my body wants when it’s hungry…and stopping when I feel full.  How can this be so foreign and hard to grasp? 

One poster on an IE online discussion forum I peruse frequently sums it up great, with a little tongue in cheek:  “It’s hilarious that people can post about what urine they are injecting to lose weight, or what barely legal speed pill is the new miracle of weight loss, but any mention of eating according to natural hunger and you are a zealot and unacceptable.”  I love it.  And I hope she doesn’t mind me anonymously quoting her post.  It’s a gem and worth sharing.

I’m just barely turning a corner on this journey, leaving dieting behind forever.  I know this is the right path for me. 

No one knows my body better than my own body!

The Migraine, the Massage and the Monsoon

24 Sunday Jun 2012

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I always say that you really pay for it both before and after trying to take a few days off from work at a super busy time of the year.  As much as it’s necessary to take a break occasionally, the preparation for being away and the rush of returning and trying to catch up in a fast-moving work environment and a small (or not so small) mountain of email can take its toll. 

I feel very fortunate that I have very little to complain about with my current job.  For the last five years most of my work has been short-term consulting engagements, about a year or less in length, and I’ve really hit the jackpot with this current team.  But taking a typical vacation is not really in the cards for me.  I am only paid for hours worked (and pretty well paid, but still vacations are not paid). 

Doing short-term engagements has allowed me to zoom in and out of very different work environments and cultures and to learn a lot very rapidly – both best practices and things to avoid.  There’s an art to it – you’ve got to hit the ground running, develop rapport very quickly with your new colleagues, get your bearings on what’s happening and what needs to happen, and add value from Day One.  So, trying to carve out a week-long vacation, say, can be challenging, unless it’s negotiated right up front when interviewing for the position.  There’s a chance it might be a deal-breaker if it’s during a crucial time in the project.  And I don’t count my time off between work engagements as true vacation time, for my drive to network and land a new engagement is the noise that overshadows any attempt at really unplugging for a while and relaxing.  Perhaps I’ll get better at that the next time around!

I came back to work on Tuesday after a relaxing 4-day weekend with family in town visiting from Chicago.  Ahhh, when I am with them all is right with the world.  And when I got back to the office I had a very brief 10-second moment of bliss, and then the (absolutely expected) WHAMMO debrief of a ton of stuff that happened that I needed to catch up on – fast. 

This time of year is even more hectic.  The company’s fiscal year ends at the end of June, so everyone’s a little extra nutty trying to wrap things up, make sure budgets close out when they’re supposed to…oh, and come July, this place turns into a bowling alley.  Everyone (well, the employees that is) skips town and goes on very well-deserved vacations.  And it’s usually the contingent staff that covers.  This is the 4th business unit I’ve consulted with at this company, and this year actually marks TEN years of consulting here over the past 13 years – wow!  So I’m very, very familiar with the rhythms of business at this company and how the last half of June is a 27-ring circus.  Get stuff done before the fiscal years closes out AND before everyone goes on vacation!

By Thursday I was feeling pretty much caught up, enough to where I felt good carving out a (spontaneous) true hour-long lunch with my former office mate who now is with a different part of our work division.  I’m so glad we are keeping in touch!  We each had Chiang Mai noodle soup – absolutely delicious.  Curry does not typically agree with me (big bummer) but the curry in this soup is very light, and the flavors and spices make this one of the best lunches on the campus – love it!

Then I had a tiny flash of light dot in front of me.  Oh shit, here it comes.  A migraine.  K and I finished our lunches, hugged and walked back to our offices.  I swung by the first aid cabinet in our break room and fumbled around for some sort of pain reliever.  Sometimes if I pop something right when it hits it will dissipate fairly quickly and won’t linger.

This time I wasn’t so lucky.  But let me back up a minute here.  I am one of the lucky (tongue in cheek) few who are ‘blessed’ with occasional menstrual-related migraines.  Now don’t worry, I’m not going to get too gory in here about female stuff.  I just know that if I do get them, they’re going to be female hormone triggered.  Oh yay. Years and years ago in college when they started happening, my doctor prescribed a very mild anti-depressant.  I remember thinking that was odd…I have migraines, I’m not depressed!  But they worked. 

As the years went by I tried seeing if there were ways to avoid these types of migraines without depending upon a prescription.  I read that there are certain triggers (foods, etc) that might play a part.  Or that perhaps getting more exercise would help.  Caffeine, red wine, cheeses, chocolate…and for me, perhaps curry?  Hmmm, as good as those noodles were, perhaps I should have avoided them that particular day.  And then I remembered…I had a very small wedge of Brie for breakfast that morning.  Oops.  Those two foods in one day were probably not a good idea, and now I was paying the price.

I had a meeting with my manager right after lunch.  The “aura” part of the migraine was starting to increase and my vision was slightly blurred.  I grabbed my laptop, walked into her office and said “hey, I’m not trying to be dramatic here but I’m having a migraine episode.  So if my eyes seem a little out of focus, that’s why.  My vision is a little blurry but this should pass in about 10 or 15 minutes.”  We forged ahead with our work.  Like I wrote earlier, this is a super busy time of year.

What happens with these migraines, you’re wondering?  Well, in my case the tiny bright spot of light slowly turns into an oval or circular ring of pulsating, vibrating colors.  It gets wider and wider until it leaves my field of vision.  Then the after effects set in – a pins and needles feeling in my upper shoulders and back of the neck, the same feeling like when your foot goes to sleep.  Then, a little nausea.  And nope, closing my eyes does not shut out the aura. 

Thankfully I’ve been through this a few times and know what to expect.  And knock on wood, it’s never happened when I’m driving.  Or playing hockey.  Usually a good night’s sleep will leave me refreshed and with all symptoms gone. 

But the next day, Friday, my neck and shoulders were still feeling prickly and horribly stiff.  Wow, this episode was a doozy.  But I smiled, knowing I had a massage booked for later that night.  Relief!

Last month I had a massage for the first time in years.  And I’m going to try to get one once a month and see if this can bring some relief to my neck and shoulders which seem to have the weight of the world on them.  Turns out that in the month since my first massage with J, she is now completely mobile.  She brings her massage table, blankets, music and everything to her clients’ houses!  So hmmmm, this was going to be an interesting change.

I told her about my migraine episode the day before, and we agreed we’d spend the whole hour just working on my back, shoulders, pecs and scalp, not the whole body.  She set up her table in my living room meanwhile and then went into my powder room to wait for me to disrobe and get under the blankets.  Before doing this I laughed and said you know, this is a little weird being naked in my living room.  She laughed as well and said lots of her clients make that same comment!  And it’s true!  I live in a townhouse so all bedrooms are upstairs.  I’m rarely naked down on the main level in the living room, dining room or kitchen (but when I am there is always a guy involved, heh).  OK…anyway back on track here.

J gave a wonderful massage.  At first I had a hard time relaxing because, well, here I was naked in my living room (under blankets) on a massage table which was a first for me…and I realized that I prefer getting massages where I’m not in my home.  For awhile my mind was racing as I pondered everything in the living room, even with my eyes closed in the face cradle…did I dust that coffee table?  Man, I need a new TV.  Should I get new pillows for the sofa?  And on and on.  Finally, I was able to just breathe deeply and enjoy the massage.  J explained that our blood vessels constrict during a migraine, so the massage is a great antidote to increase blood flow back to my scalp, neck and shoulders. I felt so incredibly relaxed when she was done…and refreshed…and taller! 

Now, have I ranted enough about how bad the weather is in June in the Seattle area?  We call it “June-uary” actually.  And we joke that summer does not officially start until July 5th.  Yep, AFTER the fireworks shows on the 4th, which often have to adjust for lower altitudes, otherwise the fireworks will get lost in the thick, grey clouds.  Kind of sad, right?  Well, this June has been pretty crappy, save for a few sunny days.

I woke up yesterday, showered and headed out to the salon for a haircut.  I remember driving into the city and thinking wow, those are some angry black clouds on the horizon.  It wasn’t raining, however.

Fast forward an hour and the skies opened up.  Torrential, pouring rains…and wind.  We got over an inch of rain in about two hours, so say the news folks.  Unbelievable!  I was so relieved I had parked in the garage under the building where my hair salon is.  I had no coat and no umbrella…I would have been soaked through, not to mention ruined my freshly styled hair!

I slipped my parking validation ticket into the machine at the garage exit.  The garage had closed so there was no one around, and there is a chain type of door that raises and lowers automatically just like a garage door.  It opened as I drove up and I remember thinking I should wait until it completely opened, as I’m not the best judge of space and distance.

But when the garage chain door finished opening, it immediately starting closing!  I had a brief moment of panic…do I go for it or just wait for it to close and ring the attendant?

I floored my car and squealed out of there.  Keep in mind there is a very sharp turn immediately coming out of the garage, so I lurched forward and prayed the chain door would not hit my car on the way out.  And immediately got blasted with the heavy rain pouring down.  Man, I am such a dumbass sometimes.  The car and I got out of the garage just fine.

And while we’re on the topic of dumbass, I got home and realized I’d left my master bedroom window open for some fresh air.  This was long before the rains came pounding through.  Now I had soaked wood blinds and a flooded window sill!  Damn!!  Water drops were hanging off the wood.  I immediately grabbed a towel and carefully started mopping up what I could.  Ugh.  Thank goodness for that small wet/dry vac I picked up when L and I started the popcorn ceiling scraping project.  Who in the hell leaves a south-facing window open on a day like that?  Oh wait…that was me.  After vacuuming up what water I could from the window sill it was full again after an hour.  Geez we got soaked.

I’m so ready for a pain-free and dry week ahead!

Sleeping in Anticipation

15 Sunday Apr 2012

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I seem to write a lot about sleeping in here.  Part of that is because my usual blogging day here, Sunday, is synonymous with SLEEP.  Sleeping in.  Glorious, glorious sleep.  Without a sound sleep I’m a wreck…well, usually I can get through on caffeine and adrenaline and fake it the next day, but the next night – WHAMMO.  Gotta get those zzzzs.   And weekends are essential to recharge.

When I was in college, the first class of the day was not calculus, art history or philosophy but choir my freshman, sophomore and junior years.  At 8am, sharp.  And I could have been up late studying or partying until 3am the night prior yet bounced out of bed no problem on just a few hours sleep, ready to sing!  What an incredible way to start the day.  Truly energized me.  And where in hell did I find all that energy to get through college life on 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night (or less)?  Oh – duh – I was 19.

Spring seems to finally be springing around here.  I can open the townhouse windows for some fresh air and not worry about freezing to death or rain coming in, and even went to work a couple of times last week without a coat.  Ooops, we had rain later in the afternoon but it didn’t matter.  Here in the Seattle area we don’t let a little rain ruin our day.

I met D for a walk yesterday…back to Juanita Bay Park in Kirkland for another look at the protected wetlands along Lake Washington like we did a few weeks ago.  The view of the lake shore from the boardwalk is endlessly fascinating…every time we visit something is different.  Yesterday it was clear spring had sprung – birds were chirping loudly all around us in the trees and turtles covered the logs floating just under the lake surface.  I felt the sun radiating down and through me and was glad I had plopped on a light running cap and some sunscreen before heading out.  A couple of hard-core photographers were out with their impressive cameras. Huge, long lenses on tripods all wrapped in camouflage fabric.  That’s when you know it’s good…even the pros are out!  We chatted briefly with them and they pointed out a bald eagle high up in a tree.  Wow my distance vision is not so great, but as I focused more I could see a white head far, far up.

We walked on, determined to get a good workout.  Time for some hills!  And the West of Market neighborhood in Kirkland delivers.  Along with some steep, winding hills you get major real estate eye candy.  Beautiful homes with fantastic views of the lake.  Most all of the older summer home cabins have long been torn down and replaced with modern homes, but there are still a couple of adorable holdouts.  This is the neighborhood where you can get wonderfully lost, almost in a dizzy, dreamlike state, just blocks from the anchor of Market Street.  I love it.

I went over to L’s last night to watch hockey and hang out.  Sausage hot dogs with the works, chips and a couple of beers with my guy BFF.  Love it.  And yes, L is a huge Chicago Blackhawks fan and the Stanley Cup Playoffs are under way.  So I had to be silly and annoying and arrive at his house in a Vancouver Canucks t-shirt. ‘Cause those are my boys!! The Vancouver/Chicago rivalry is just a few years old but rumbling up into something fierce.  And it just won’t be the playoffs without a Vancouver/Chicago matchup again this year.  It just won’t.  Last night it was Chicago and Phoenix.  Chicago won in OT.  This is gonna be an intense series alright!

So…anticipation.  I woke up today with a smile on my face and wondered.  Spring is coming…and there’s so much to look forward to.  Hockey – the Canucks gotta win it tonight in LA or they are going to be painfully behind in a best of 7 series.  Losing those first two games at home?  Pathetic, boys…play your game already!!  And even more hockey – I’ve got a late playoff game tonight in my own league.  Double elimination and we’ve already lost one.  So let’s bring it, team!! 

I thought about my job and how in a few weeks I’ll know for sure if my consulting engagement will be extended out further into the summer and early fall.  Right now I’m mobilizing, for officially I’m wrapping up end of June by design.  Keeping my network up to date and soon it will be time to refresh my resume.  This group has been one of the strongest and healthiest teams I’ve ever worked shoulder to shoulder with.  And if my time with them is winding down, well, the bar is set high and this will be a tough act to follow.  But so many new doors will open!

Later this month I’m going to attend a 2 day workshop on understanding men and their behavior.  My friend T raved about it and I can’t wait!  Stay tuned for more posts on that. 

I’m going to embark on a 5-day cleanse of sorts, with a pack of meal-replacement shakes, snack bars and vitamin supplements I purchased last month at a seminar my new friend M lead.  I have an extra pack of the meal-replacement mix (yummy French vanilla and gluten-free) and I’ve tried a few times mixing up a glass for a breakfast or lunch replacement.  But something in me has been reluctant to do the 5-day cleanse.  I think about all of the food recipes I’ve posted in here…can I do a 3 liquid meals a day for 5 days straight?  I love the textures and flavors of food.  This cleanse means 5 days of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla beverages in steady rotation.  And yet it’s only FIVE DAYS.  What am I waiting for?  In early 2010 I kicked a nasty, 25-year Diet Coke addiction cold turkey with zero problems.  So I can do this too, right?

Ahhh…I know what the blocker is.  I’m worried about my energy level.  M did comment that energy levels can temporarily drop with some people as their body resets with the low glycemic beverages.  I’m worried I’ll be lethargic and not able to skate my best for my team.  So there it is…I’ll start the cleanse after my own team’s playoffs are done.

And maybe it’s time to get back to regular exercising again.  Skating once a week does not do it.  D and I want to get out on walks more often and maybe that’s the motivation I need – doing this with a friend – to get me back in shape and feeling more like myself when I look in the mirror.  My body does respond well to regular, brisk walking.  And I’m in dire need of some new spring and summer clothes and would love to feel more comfortable shopping like I did when I was slimmer a few years ago.  The times when you know your size and you know it’s going to fit and look well.  Someday I’ll be back there again. 

I finally got my damn passport in the mail for renewal.  So funny how the procedures change decade to decade.  Don’t laugh, but I got new pictures taken 7 or 8 months ago.  MONTHS.  And I’ve either been too busy or too frustrated trying to find the forms to fill out.  I have to laugh at myself because I’m pretty resourceful finding things online.  Somehow the passport renewal was a stumper.  BUT I cracked the code, filled out the forms, mailed in my check and old passport and we’re on our way.

Nothing like a fresh, new passport to open a whole world (no pun intended) of anticipation.

The Ugly Crescendo

27 Monday Feb 2012

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I felt like something ugly and draining snuck up and tried swallowing me whole this week.   And by the time I realized it was happening it was too late.  Call me One Big Trainwreck.  Stuck in quicksand.

This past week was midwinter break for a lot of families.  And while the company I work for does not observe the President’s Day holiday, many people take that day off anyways because the kids are off from school.

Burdened, alone and sometimes overwhelmed.  Those were some of the things I felt last week trying to get through work and covering for others.  I am always honored when my manager or another co-worker asks if I (a consultant who is not a permanent part of the team) wouldn’t mind being their backup contact while they are away, should others in the office need something urgent.  It feels good to be needed.  But I don’t like feeling alone.  I like having people around me, which is part of the reason I don’t like working from home.  I enjoy the constant interaction.  So when hardly anyone is around in the office it’s eerie.  And while I can handle just about anything that comes my way and speak on others’ behalfs while they’re out (mostly), it is draining.  I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.  And it gets really heavy sometimes. 

Perhaps I am even a teensy bit envious of those who get paid vacation time.  As a consultant I am only paid for hours I work, and typically my work engagements are a year or less in length.  So it is not always a good idea to schedule a leisurely vacation.  It might be during a crucial point in a project – a major milestone.  And I may still be processing the last residue of pain from my unemployed stretch a couple of years ago.  Meaning, don’t bitch about work.  Just DON’T.  And WORK, fivenineteen, WORK.  It is a privilege to work, not a right.

Jealousy be damned.  I am not a jealous type, so when it does leak into my being like it admittedly did thinking of everyone enjoying their vacations, it catches me off guard.  Sneaky bitch.

So while I am the queen of to-do lists, the big stuff didn’t get done this past week like I had hoped.   I mistakenly assumed that I would have a lot of catch up time on my hands in the office to tackle some more high-level, strategic work that’s needed attention.  But that was not the case at all.  Lots of Littles popped up.  Unexpected situations that needed attention.  Nothing too difficult to fix, but still time consuming.  And sometimes exhausting.

I think by Wednesday I was feeling a little ‘off.’  Hard to describe but I felt weighed down physically and mentally.  A little jittery, even without coffee.

L texted me sometime Tuesday or Wednesday asking if he could crash at my house Thursday night.  He has client meetings near my house sometimes and lives a ways from here and has done this on a couple of other occasions, on nights we’re not doing any of that popcorn ceiling scraping.  One time it was because there was a gas leak in the house he rents and he needed to stay elsewhere while the leak was being contained.

L is a wonderful friend for sure.  But it’s a very different dynamic having a guy over at my house just hanging out who truly is a great friend and nothing more.  I’m learning this very quickly. He just crashes on my couch and either leaves early in the morning to beat traffic or stays to get some work done at my house and leaves a little later and locks up.  On Thursday, the night he wanted to come crash at my place, I had dinner plans with a girlfriend and told him I won’t be home until late but would leave a house key hidden for him. 

Little did I know how the world would all come crashing down around me that Thursday.  Held off briefly by some incredible sushi and a couple glasses of wine with my dear friend T at Izumi.  Hands down the best sushi in the Seattle suburbs.  Mouth watering and spectacular, with a very charming sushi chef at the sushi bar who is a great conversationalist.  I could subsist on sushi there every day, even though it would be a little hard on my wallet. 

My mind started to wander during dinner and I felt preoccupied and restless.  Here I was having a fun night out with a wonderful friend and I was having some sort of anxiety thingy wash over me.  I knew when I got home that L and his friend’s dog would be there.  And I felt like that was going to be an invasion of my space that night, even though I’d told him a day or two prior it would be OK.  It was starting to feel like it wasn’t going to be.  And why was I feeling this way?  What’s the big deal?  IS it a big deal or is it kind of weird when a male friend wants to just randomly crash at your place occasionally?  I don’t know about you but I’ve never had a platonic friendship with a (straight) guy that went to that level.  And come to think of it neither with a gay guy friend either.  Why was I letting this upset me so much?  And oh yeah, once I got home I needed to start filling out some paperwork that an escrow agent sent for a neighbor who is selling his townhouse.  Stuff like that you cannot delay, and we’re a small, self-run HOA…and….and…And ahhhh, there I went.  Questioning my feelings and getting overwhelmed all at once.  Let the downward spiral begin.

Have you ever been so tired that you couldn’t relax and fall asleep?  I got home and L was chilling out watching TV with the dog.  My head hurt.  So much for great sushi, two glasses of wine and great friendship.  It all went *poof* once I got home.  For I knew I needed to get upstairs, fire up this somewhat creaky of a laptop (6 years old and showing its age; that’s another post for another time) and crack open the documentation the escrow agent needed filled out.

Of all times for my laptop here to act up.  I had a devil of a time getting applications to stay open without hanging, and trying to edit the .pdf that they sent us.  Why realtors and escrow agents use Acrobat Reader for their documentation – that needs editing – instead of something like Microsoft Word is beyond me.  Pain in the ASS.

I felt bad for neglecting L and went downstairs periodically to see how he was doing.  My eyebrows were feeling tightly knitted together and my whole body felt clenched up and tense.  He seemed fine, but that didn’t help me relax any further.  Just seemed like a lost cause.

By 11pm I was a wreck.  I’d done all I could on the documentation, sent it to our HOA treasurer for him to finish and decided to crawl into bed.  Hugged L goodnight and went upstairs to sleep. 

What happened next was surreal.  Keep in mind I am typically a very sound sleeper, so when I get clonked with a dose of insomnia, I freak out.  Which only makes it worse I’m sure.  I thought I had been sleeping but turns out it was just some tossing and turning and dozing.  Around 1:30 am I realized what it was.  L had gone to sleep with his iPad on with ESPN news feeds or something.  And the sound actually carried very well upstairs to my bedroom.  I thought I was losing my mind as I crawled out of bed and drifted downstairs.  L was blissfully asleep, snoring steadily.  After a few attempts to wake him he woke up, apologized and turned off the iPad.  Ahhh, finally.  I think I tried going back to sleep again but then realized I was too wound up despite being so tired.  I went downstairs yet again to grab a glass of water. 

And I sat on my living room floor and just sobbed.  And sobbed.  “I’m such a fucking MESS,” I blurted out.  What is WRONG with me?  Poor L was half asleep and groggy.  He mumbled “I’m sorry, ” and went back to sleep.

I went upstairs.  NOW what do I do?  Do I read a book?  Take a bubble bath?  I don’t have sleeping pills in my house because I don’t need them.  And I am a pharmaceutical whimp.  Even “non drowsy” allergy medicine gives me a super bad buzz.

I probably went to sleep – sort of – around 5am.  I probably cried a bit too because when I had to get up for work my eyes were all puffy.  Yeah, going to work with 2-3 hours sleep at the most.  Ugh. That was when I actually felt glad most of my co-workers were out of the office.

Somehow I made it through the day – hats off to coffee and adrenaline.  But by mid afternoon my vision was blurred and I knew I needed to finish up a few reports and head home.  To crash. Hard.

I felt ANGRY most of the weekend.  Angry for letting myself get all wound up and freaked out over things that really aren’t a big deal.  Questioning my emotions.  A (thankfully) rare night of insomnia that took 2 days to recover from.  And thinking ahead of how much more work there is to do with the townhouse improvements.  Tons more popcorn ceiling scraping upstairs and down, then sanding/priming, and repainting a few other bedroom walls.  How long is my townhouse going to be in a state of semi-wreck meanwhile?  And why the hell am I having a mini breakdown over things that aren’t really a big deal?  What is WRONG?  Why can’t I be one of those easy-breezy, laid back types who don’t let anything bother them? 

Well, it turns out the Universe always brings us what we need.  What I needed to bust out of this funk was a heavy dose of HOCKEY.  And that came served up hot and fresh on Sunday. 

I have not played two games in one day in years but this was exactly what I needed apparently.  I skated mid afternoon in a charity game benefitting the Seattle Ronald McDonald House.  The annual Hockey Challenge, in its 14th year has raised over $4 million dollars for the local house here and for this we could not be prouder.  It is a privilege and honor to skate in support of the House and I relished every moment today.

Later that night it was my regular league game.  Yeah, both games were losses tonight but only by what the scoreboards said.  It felt amazing to get out there and skate.  For when I’m on the ice, nothing else matters.  I have no mental room to multi-task and worry about anything else than what I am doing on the ice at that particular moment.  And you know what?

THAT is relaxing.  I should sleep very well.

“…of course we’ll stay in touch…”

19 Sunday Feb 2012

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The year was 1991.  I was 24, still shedding that college-esque mentality and trying to get my foothold into some sort of what I sort of thought was a career…of sorts.  Fumbling my way into adulthood.  I remember leaving my first job fresh out of college after being there just shy of two years.  My first time realizing that a job was not my life…and that the job I had at the time – well, the company rather – was going downhill and fast.  Little did I know I was a firsthand witness to the end of late 1980s gluttony, for real.  And when you work in an office with just six people you know more than you probably ever cared to know about them, their lives, family dramas, and on and on.  As a wide-eyed college graduate I soaked it all in intensely.  Was THIS how it was going to be the rest of my working career?  I was *just* getting used to the idea that going to work every day was not some make believe dress-up-in-skirt-and-heels-and-pantyhose type of gig.  This was earning a living.

I pulled the plug on that job in a cushy office in downtown Seattle we had no business occupying given the, well, the lack of business we were bringing in once our large cash cow account started drying up.  And I took up a new position with a freight forwarding company as a coordinator in their import department.  Yep, I answered an ad in the newspaper via snail mail and all.  I don’t even remember if I had an inside referral or not.  Memories fade.

But what I won’t forget is the environment shock.  Going from an overly-glamorous office on the 67th floor of what was then known as the Columbia Center in downtown Seattle with a 270-degree view to die for, to a cracker box of a one-story office down near Sea-Tac airport directly under a flight path.  Or so it sounded, as the building rattled every time a plane took off and landed.  (After awhile I got used to it – probably kind of like when you live near railroad tracks).  And my bus pass became useless, for I had to now commute by car down the (old) viaduct everyday and over the (old) 1st Avenue South bridge over the Duwamish River, which was often a white-knuckled experience – a narrow, two-lane bridge which was not good for one’s blood pressure on dark, rainy mornings with a large semi coming at you in the opposite direction.  Yep, it was a reverse commute through the gritty, industrial parts of Seattle. Which was what this job was all about….no nonsense freight forwarding.  This company was travel agents for cargo – air freight, ocean freight, domestic and international both…you name it.  My job was to process paperwork that endlessly spilled onto my desk in thick envelopes from a courier or through the never ending fax machine whirr, contact the recipient named on the documentation and pitch our additional services for US customs clearance, warehousing and delivery to wherever the freight was supposed to end up.  Sometimes it was recurring business, like the one-hour photo processing equipment we regularly imported from Switzerland and Italy.  Sometimes it was boutique soaps from Europe or a 40-foot ocean container full of beer from Tasmania.  Or someone’s items for a trade show.  Or lighting samples for what was then a fledgling store concept called Home Depot. 

Or ad hoc things like a wooden statue from Thailand, which was apparently a trojan horse of sorts for drugs unbeknownst to innocent me.  Oh yeah, it’s not fun being six weeks into a new job and having two plain clothes detectives come barging into your place of work, demanding to speak to “fivenineteen” – using my full name.  How in hell did they figure out *I* was the one in that import desk position for this company?  Guess that’s why they’re detectives. Anyway, after being questioned at length (thank goodness our branch manager was present to back me up), they realized I had nothing to do with whatever “it” was.  Instead, I got to be a part of the stake out to bust the alleged smugglers. 

When the recipient of the statue came to our office to pay for the air freight charges and customs clearance services (around $400 if I recall), he whipped out a stack of C-notes like I would whip out Ones.  Actually his stack of C-Notes was probably much thicker than that.  He whipped out a few, put them in an envelope and thanked me.  Beyond that I have no idea what happened, other than I did get a quick drive by “thank you” from the detectives afterwards.  I remember counting the money after the guy left and realizing he’d left me an extra $100 bill, probably as a tip – who knows.  I felt dirty and gave it to our branch manager, who promptly put it into our party slush fund.

You know, I could never have gotten through this and so many other bizarre and hilarious scenarios if it wasn’t for J.  I think I’ve mentioned Js in other posts, so I’ll go with JL here so we don’t mix them up.

JL literally took me under her wing.  She was about ten years my senior and already well-seasoned in the freight forwarding industry, having taken up a part-time job with DHL while she was still in high school.  And speaking of high schools, she was actually a student of my Grandmother’s while at Mount Ranier High School in Des Moines, WA.  Talk about small worlds!!  She remembered my Grandmother vividly – a tough, firm teacher for sure – passionate about her students and her craft!  (My Grandmother – age 95, turning 96 this summer – taught Home Economics for a few years after my Dad and Uncle were out of the house as adults).

JL taught me so much about the freight forwarding industry – and about work ethic in general.  Coming from a small company who was starting to see business decline, my perspective of a fast-paced office was extremely shifted to the slow end of the spectrum.  It was a shock to suddenly be surrounded and swamped by constant phone ringing (we had no receptionist so we all had to take turns answering the phone and routing calls/paging people) and that ever-persistent fax machine spewing.  Neat freaks needed not apply – our desks were always stacked high with paperwork, files, post its, and thank goodness for those vertical file folder holders. 

I probably smoked a few packs of cigarettes secondhand along the way too.  JL and I were two of the few non-smokers at that company.  People were constantly either outside or in our warehouse taking smoke breaks.  This was the subject of constant internal office bickering too…smokers vs non-smokers; I remember JL taking a quick sanity break to walk outside to blow off steam one afternoon, and our manager questioning her what she was doing away from her desk. “I’m taking a SMOKE BREAK,” she snapped sarcastically.  Right on. 

So between the phone ringing off the hook (remember this was the pre-email era), typewriters, the fax machine and our stacks of US Customs-required carbon paper in triplicate, I learned a lot from JL.  Most importantly, how to multi-task.  I would listen to how she smoothed over tough situations over the phone with anyone from customers to air cargo agents, warehouse workers and truck drivers.  And I remember telling her one afternoon, “Wow, JL….YOU GIVE GOOD PHONE!”  And we laughed.

Ironically, JL and I each resigned from that company within mere weeks of one another.  Three years was enough for me.  I’d accepted a new job offer from a company that was an offshoot of my very first job right out of college.  With a 30% salary bump to boot. 

How many of you have told your co-workers, oh sure, would love to keep in touch, after either one of you moves onward?  Nowadays thanks to LinkedIn and Facebook it’s relatively easy to do so, but it still takes work. 

JL and I left that company in 1994.  And, after about a decade gap (with one baby boy born in between – JL’s son, now age 4), we got together at her house yesterday.  She and I have chatted on the phone on and off over the years – wonderful phone conversations that go on for two hours without either of us realizing it.  But yesterday finally was The Day.

Now, before I forget, JL was also my partner in crime for not one but TWO Caribbean cruises.  1997 and 2000 respectively.  Talk about keeping in touch…she and I have actually traveled together, gloriously!

I really hope it hasn’t been since 2002 since I’ve seen JL but that actually might be true.  That was the year she and her now-husband bought their home in West Seattle (and I bought my townhouse later that same year too).  I remember their housewarming party…a wonderful barbecue with tons of people and laughter, and the oohs and ahhs admiring their view.  Fast forward to 2012 and I hit the road with a smile on my face off to visit JL and meet her son for the first time!

We’d planned on going for a long walk around the neighborhood but it was really windy and blustery out.  I smiled as I drove back out to West Seattle.  I’ve blogged about this neighborhood before…the family roots are deep for my grandfather, Dad, Uncle (and Aunt, my Uncle’s high school sweetheart to this day) all graduated from West Seattle High School. 

And the picture in today’s post is the view from JL and her husband’s house.  We’re looking directly at Blake Island.  You can just see a few white caps on the Sound (if you squint; I took this with my camera phone). When it’s clear out the Olympic Mountains frame the horizon.  And, the Vashon Island Ferry goes back and forth.  It’s just glorious.

I smiled as I got nearer to JL’s house.  It was all coming back to me now.  A decade since my last visit?  The years melted away.  As I walked up the steps to their front door I saw a giggly, smiling little boy grinning at me in the window.  Wow.  JL’s become a wife and mother (at 50-something!) in the two decades plus since I first met her. 

She’s truly one of those great friends where we can just pick up where we left off.  A few hours visit just whizzed by.  She had to get back into the office for some additional work, but we sure enjoyed some great hot tea, conversation and laughs in the meantime.  She showed me a framed picture she still has of us on our first cruise back in 1997.  A smiling picture of us enjoying ourselves in St. Maarten.  I almost burst into tears.  WOW that was a great trip.  And so long ago.

Reflecting and Looking Forward

01 Sunday Jan 2012

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Wow…how fun that my typical blogging day – Sunday – is New Years Day!  What sprang from unemployment, boredom, frustration and a lifelong passion for writing is now over two years strong – this September ol’ fivenineteen here will be 3.  THREE!   This will likely be the most productive thing I do all day.  Oh, and taking the Christmas tree down too.  Thankfully it’s a 4 foot artificial tree.  Easy to pull apart and pack up until next time.

I remember as a kid I didn’t really “believe” it was the New Year until I saw it in writing.  Which meant seeing the new year in print on the newspaper the next morning.  There still is a part of me that feels that way…although now it’s the date readout on my cell phone, my home landline phone or even the little clock on the corner of the laptop screen here.  Yep, it’s Sunday January 1, 2012.  Wow.

It’s only natural to reflect back on the year that Was…2011 started off with a bang.  Literally.  My family said goodbye way too soon to a family member – my cousin’s ex wife – at age 41.  And a new relationship…intense, yes, which flamed out quickly.  And, admittedly, took me awhile to process.  Thanks to time and some newly-discovered wisdom shared with me by my dear friend T, it’s all so clear to me now.  And so great to just Let It All Go.

My health took a nosedive in late winter/early spring last year.  Enough to where any plans to hit the gym and train for the year’s 5Ks went out the window.  We had Typhoid Mary run rampant in that team’s cubicle farm.  I coughed for two months straight.  Here’s a tall glass of water in a plastic tumbler toast to a MUCH healthier 2012…with 5Ks to boot!  Hmmm, I might steer clear of the gym for a few weeks and try getting outside to exercise.  Such a cliche…it’s jam packed in January – too hard to get a free treadmill!

I’m optimistic and hopeful about the economy and my job.  Save for a two-week break last year between engagements, I was employed all of 2011!!  WHAT a relief after the mess of late 2009 and first half of 2010.  We HAVE to pull out of this drudgery that is a recession/depression/whatever it is.  It sucks and I have good friends still feeling the burn. 

My confidence in my Silpada jewelry business only continues to grow and grow…every conversation, every party, every question about my jewelry and what I’m doing only fuels me that I can really DO this, have fun, and make a surprisingly great commission on the side!  Just by “selling” a product I’ve loved for years!  (I use “selling” in quotes because it does not really feel like selling at all in the traditional sense.)  Just sharing info with people!  I meet up regularly with other local reps and the friendships that have grown from them are simply fabulous.  Incredible women. 

And what a great crescendo on the last part of 2011 when the consulting work I did for free back in 2010 popped into some extra paying work for a couple of months in late 2011!  That project is on hold right now, but there is a very strong chance we’ll resume work again with the client later this year. Fascinating…and who knows where it could lead?  I will be at my current full-time job through late June this year and I know it will go fast.  And believe me, I know how to network.  If I could stay on longer with this team through June I would leap at the opportunity.  But since I do consulting engagements, that’s not part of the deal usually.  Budget cycles and all mean consultants come and go.  Nothing personal.

I feel truly happy and blessed…big smiles as I welcome 2012 and look outside into the sunshine.  Time to get outside for a walk!