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Suburban Surprise

26 Sunday May 2013

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DeerI’ve been feeling a little out of shape recently.  I haven’t been getting a lot of exercise, and yet I’m feeling like I’m in a spot where I really NEED it.  My work is fantastic – I love the team and what we’re working on together.  It’s just mentally exhausting.  I come home happy and fried.  Tapped out.  I remember part of the workshop I took last fall where we learned what our unique needs are.  What are our main ‘tanks’ and how do we keep them filled?  When they’re filled we’re at our optimum…at our best!  When they’re depleted, it’s a mess.

Apparently I need 7 hours of exercise a week to be at my best.  SEVEN!  That’s one freakin’ hour a day!  And I can assure you I’m nowhere near doing that right now.  I’m taking a sabbatical from hockey – man, when I first started playing I skated 4 nights a week!  And prior to taking up hockey I walked about 5 miles a day (with hills) every day for about 6 months…every day without fail.  That was the summer of 2003 when the weather was super hot and sunny.  I remember losing about 30-35 lbs in the process and getting in the best shape of my life cardio-wise as well.  OK wait…an hour and a half of walking every day and I morphed gradually into a svelte size 6.  Hmmm…and I needed ‘just’ an hour a day but didn’t know it at the time?  I do remember how energized I felt and how happy I was with my new figure…and so happy in general.  Maybe I really DO need an hour of exercise a day!

Well, they say there’s no better time to start (or restart) than NOW.  This is a lazy Memorial Day Weekend…no plans except for a super fun lunch and shopping date with my Mom yesterday (a belated birthday celebration).  I’m still grinning about the daytrip J and I took to Mount St. Helens last Sunday…on my birthday!  What an incredible trip it was.  The only thing that was a wee bit of a bummer was that there was too much snow on the trails to hike.  We were looking forward to getting some exercise outdoors after a 3 hour car ride but that will happen next time!  Still, an amazing experience.

So today I put on my walking gear and grabbed my iPod…time to explore my neighborhood once again on foot!  I live at the bottom of a very steep hill and yes, that was a part of my daily walking routine 10 years ago.  That hill is a butt (and lung) kicker…today I opted for a flatter route.  The drizzle was starting to morph into rain and I wondered if it would continue to get worse or clear up.  Thankfully it cleared up…I got so warm I had to ditch my windbreaker.

Here in the Seattle suburbs, so much open, vacant land has been gobbled up by subdivisions.  Call it thriving progress or call it sad…it’s our reality.  Frankly, I love the growth here in the region.  I’ve lived here all my life and am passionate about the Northwest…and proud that so many major businesses call this region home headquarters too.

I headed north up the main road near my townhouse and into the next town’s city limits.  Walking alongside a 4-lane road isn’t the most relaxing thing to do, but wide sidewalks and little traffic (not much on a Sunday holiday weekend) make it decent.  Once you get onto side streets there are a ton of windy roads and cul-de-sacs to get wonderfully lost in.  As I was deciding which side street to explore, I suddenly spotted a couple off to my right walking their dog.  They were on a gravelly trail just off the main road!  Dang, how many times have I walked right past that trail and never saw it?  Probably hundreds.  Certainly it wouldn’t be visible whizzing by in your car.  I smiled and walked up to them…where does the trail go, I asked?  They said oh, it “just goes back a ways.”  Ok, that’s a funny, vague answer!  They didn’t even know if it was public or private.  OK, so if I’m trespassing I’ll just laugh and say hey, what’s for dinner?

I looked down the trail…lots of trees were surrounding it and there were benches every so often. Looked public to me, but I didn’t see any signs posted.  So, I started down the trail, feeling a little giddy.  Here was a trail right in my neighborhood I was exploring for the first time!  After about a quarter of a mile the trail ran between houses in a suburban development and dumped me out into a cul-de-sac.  OK, that was somewhat interesting!  But I remembered further back there was a fork in the trail.  I retraced my steps back and took it.  There was one last bench and I was surrounded by thick trees again.

Then, I turned a corner…and look at the welcoming committee in the picture!  Do you know that feeling when you’re alone but you suddenly feel like you’re not alone?  That’s a jolt I felt right before looking to my left and spotting the two deer!  Wow, I was surprised!  Surprised not only that there is undeveloped land in this part of our suburbs, but that deer are here too!  We really don’t see much wildlife around here…maybe a raccoon or coyote late at night, but certainly not deer!  I wonder if that land is even develop-able (is that a word)?  Is it too marshy?  Who knows.

I’m going to go back tomorrow and see if they are still there!

Staying Healthy in 2013!

07 Monday Jan 2013

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healthyHappy New Year, everyone!  I’m super-duper excited about this year and the promise of what’s ahead.  Can you feel the energy with me?  Everyone I’ve talked with and whom I’ve had the opportunity to see in person and hug with a New Year welcome so far feels it too!  I love it.  The hope and potential is boundless. Always…not only in early January but also on our ho-hum days in April and September, long after new year’s resolutions have likely faded grey.

Now, as some of you might already know, typically for the last decade or so I write off the first week of January health-wise.  Because I’m usually sick as a dog…down for the count with some sort of cold and/or flu.  With zero energy and zero appetite.  It doesn’t matter whether I’ve had a flu shot or not. Some years I get the flu even after getting a flu shot, and sometimes I don’t even without a shot.  What a crapshoot!  [For the record, I did not get a flu shot this year…and crossing fingers it’s January 7-8 and all is well.]

If I recall correctly, January 2012 was fairly healthy.  Take a look at last year’s posts and let me know what you think!  I remember getting snowed in for a week and having to work from home.  Oh boy, bring on the cabin fever!  This week we might get a little snow as well.  If it’s going to snow at all and stick around here in the Seattle area, it’s January and February for sure.

2013 is focused on my passion for increased health, fitness and wellness.  That might sound a bit overly cliché and cheesy for New Year’s goals, but I’m OK with that.  I know way deep down it will be my reality.  I had already gotten many wheels in motion (no pun intended) last fall with overall fitness.  Such as working out with a personal trainer and rowing at the gym.  I’ve worked hard on my goal of rowing 5000m in under 30 minutes and I’ve finally done it TWICE!  28:35 was my most recent time back in December – woot woot!  I can’t run a 5K anywhere near that pace (yet!) but it sure feels good to row it on a medium-weight resistance setting.  It’s a great alternative to the treadmill – which doesn’t take care of any work-related tension in my neck, shoulders and upper back, much less do any upper body muscle toning.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted about health and beauty products…so here we go (again!)  I’ll go left to right in the picture up top:

Nutritional Supplements:  they say eating right is ideal, but I think we can all use a boost.  How many of us truly eat balanced meals every single day?  With our busy, on-the-go lifestyles?  I suppose many of you out there do, and my hat is off.  I just know that supplements can go a long way in keeping the immune system boosted year ’round.  At far left in the picture is the Ocean Essentials capsules from NutriLite.  These are Omega-3 softgels, 90 per bottle.  Great for heart health, blood flow and lipid levels!  I really like these because the capsules are small to medium-sized and easy to swallow.  There is a very faint fish smell and aftertaste (not surprising) but I think that’s only noticeable to me (or so I hope!).  After about an hour (and maybe a stick of chewing gum) it goes away. NutriLite offers other supplements containing concentrated nutrients from fruits and vegetables, plus others with anti-oxidants.  I don’t have any of those in the picture right now, as refills are on the way!  But both are highly recommended.  Each are also very easy to swallow…not too large and well-shaped.

Green Coffee Bean extract:  Who hasn’t heard about this craze?  With no caffeine buzz?  I admit I got swept up with quite a few friends’ raves about this product last fall and how they were able to lose up to 3 lbs a week.  That has not been my record to date, but I don’t think they could hurt.  Plus, I have not taken them on a consistent basis as recommended. Actually, the only thing that hurt was ordering them through Evolution Slimming, and I only say that because I’m on this side of the pond.  The fantastically helpful and nice people at Evolution Slimming are based out of the UK, so the shipping was slow and tedious given this is a food/supplement type of product so I’m sure the customs clearance process took awhile.  And I had to go physically drive to my post office to pick up the package as it was sent registered mail.  No problem overall, but a little time-consuming. 

Next up we’re back with NutriLite’s Slimmetry supplements.  This supplement is designed to suppress your appetite in a healthy way if you take a few prior to each meal.  Again, I don’t do this on a routine basis, but I do notice a difference when I consciously take 2-3 pills prior to breakfast or lunch.  I don’t feel the cravings quite as much between meals!  And they are also very easy to swallow, shaped well to go down easily. 

Moisturizer!  With sunscreen!  People, I can’t stress enough how essential daily sunscreen is! I don’t care if it’s cloudy or dark out…if you’re fair-skinned like me (or even if you’re not), you will thank me for this later.  And it’s never too late to start.  I wear a moisturizer with SPF every single day under my makeup (which also, usually, has sunscreen depending upon which brand I’m wearing).  I’ve used Neutrogena’s Healthy Skin Alpha Hydroxy lotion with SPF 15 for several years (on and off – switching between brands sometimes) and I always come back to it.  It disappears into my skin quickly, meaning it doesn’t leave my skin feeling oily and leaves it ready for liquid foundation and primer.  Note that alpha hydroxy lotions can sting a little at first until your skin gets used to them, especially on your face, so definitely avoid the eye area and alternate it with other lotions every few days at first.  You’ll also want to try this lotion on your arms, hands and elbows – expect amazing results!  I find it easily at my local Bartell’s or Rite Aid drugstores, but I see it’s no longer on Neutrogena’s website (which is why the link above is on Amazon.com).  I hope it doesn’t get discontinued any time soon!

Next up is my first official beauty splurge of 2013:  La Roche-Posay Anthelios sunscreen fluid with SPF 50.  I happened to be browsing an issue of Allure magazine and this popped up as a favorite product of 2012.  So I ordered it on a total random whim and so far I’m super happy with it.  Lightweight AND SPF 50? Sign me up!  I wear it under my makeup primer and liquid foundation and it doesn’t feel heavy at all.  It’s pricey ($32.95 for 1.7 oz compared with approx. $14 for Neutrogena’s 2.5 oz alpha hydroxy), but I’m very happy so far.  The true test will be how much “a little goes a long way” or not, just like with any other more costly beauty product.

Fragrance?  Well I have a large stash of them, but my newest favorite is L’Occitane’s The Vert (green tea) solid perfume.  I can’t find this scent in solid perfume anywhere on their official website any longer, but if you can find it elsewhere it’s well worth it.  It comes in a tin like a lip balm, and the scent is clean and fresh.  It’s impossible to overdo it!  This scent DOES keep me healthy.  The green tea aroma is powerful (yet gentle), soothing, healing and builds strength within me.

What else beyond products?  Well, the magenta scarf wrapped around the picture is another essential.  Keeping my neck and throat area protected and warm while commuting and walking between buildings for meetings at work during the rainy/cold seasons is essential to staying healthy.  Us Taureans’ throats are especially vulnerable and should always be protected from cold weather to ensure our health!  I enjoy my small but fabulous wardrobe of colorful pashmina scarves and wraps…a nice pop of color to punch up my typical wardrobe of grey, dark denim and black.

Sleep?  Exercise?  Yes and Yes!  After last fall’s workshop, I learned what the contents of my own personal operating manual are!  Right down to how much sleep and how much exercise I need!  7 hours a night and 7 hours per week, respectively…to be at my optimum self.  I can try going to bed a little earlier (as hard as it can be) to get more sleep, but how the hell can I get in an hour of exercise a day, every day these days?  I used to walk 5 miles a day, every day 9 years ago around my neighborhood (which was about 90 minutes, including hills).  How can I recreate that?  I truly was in the best shape of my life after 6 months of that (35 lbs dropped off)…and that was before joining the gym I currently belong to. 

So that’s what’s on tap for now.  Getting to bed an hour earlier AND squeezing in daily exercise (rather than 3-4 times a week) will be challenging, but I am determined!  Stay tuned for more!

Come Meet My Soul – the Journey, Part 4 of 4

16 Sunday Dec 2012

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I have to laugh a little at myself because it seems whenever I try to do a ‘mini series’ of themed posts in here I lose my weekly blogging pace.  Exhibit A:  my review of the Four Agreements book last year.  Normally this glorious Sunday blogging ritual is something I look forward to…waking up with a smile after sleeping in a bit.  Sitting down at the keyboard either totally ready and knowing what I’m going to blog about…or with zero idea and just seeing what happens when I type.  I love both scenarios actually!  There’s no need for a safety net in here.  Last weekend was recovery from mental exhaustion, and I just needed to truly chill and not do much of anything except get in the gym and enjoy some downtime and cooking. 

So, it’s good to be back here after an unexpected vacay.  It’s a steely-grey, damp Sunday morning.  Silence save for a few occasional cars out on the main road.  Funny how I can tell what the weather is like before I even look out my window every morning.  The cars sound totally different on wet asphalt vs dry.

Back in mid November I started this 4-part “come meet my soul” mini series.  Joy.  Passion.  Kindness.  Today’s theme is PEACE.

How wonderfully fitting that this peace post falls right smack in the holiday season.  It’s what we all wish for and pray for.  Sometimes it’s a hard struggle out there to imagine a world with peace.  This horrific school shooting in Connecticut late last week makes me want to cry and throw up all at the same time.  I teared up when I saw my cousin’s Facebook post that “….more parents have lost their children today.”  Those words were a kick in the stomach.  My cousin and her husband lost their son in a drowning accident in 2004.  On Father’s Day of all days.  He would have turned 10 this year.  And I saw a list of the shooting victims and their birth dates.  Children born in 2006 (2006) lost their lives.  I just don’t have any words for this.

I don’t know if we’ll ever get to a state of world peace.  But I think however we get there it’s a personal responsibility…it starts with each of us as individuals.  Every day.  What choices do we make from what life puts before us each day?  Do we go through the motions unconsciously, or perhaps with a state of anger?  Or of calm?  Of happiness?  With a hunger to change things for the better?  And how?

I’m told I have a calm, grounded presence in times of stress…and to me that is peace personified.  Honestly I am much better at ‘holding’ that stance at work rather than outside of work.  But again, I’m human.  Sometimes I get jittery and rattled when my confidence is challenged.  I think we all do though.  I’m trying to continue to practice breathing through problems…and asking for help and support when I need it. Being vulnerable when I need to be – and it’s OK.  This is far easier to do when I’m feeling – well – at peace.  Rested, fed, getting enough exercise…all the basics that fuel the best Me.  If I’m tired, cranky or had a tough day at work I’ve got very little left in my reserves to deal with much more.  Lately that’s how it’s been.  Man, actually for the last month work has been nutso.  Normally this time of year is the slow winding down before the holidays.  This year it’s been nothing but madness.  But madness in a good way.  This team continues to blow me away with how collaborative and helpful and respectful we are to one another while fighting the fiercest of fires.  It’s a true ensemble cast without backstabbing or finger-pointing or not saying ‘that’s not my job,’ when we all need to put other priorities aside and focus on fixing the most burning ones.  When this work engagement wraps up for me next month (by design), they’re going to be a tough act to follow.

So peace to me means being calm.  Bringing a state of serenity and grace to those around me.  Which in turn brings warmth…and love.

And this weekend has been a glorious self-refueling to get back to that center of peace.  Sleep.  Exercise. Excitement…I finally broke the 30 minute barrier in my 5000m rowing machine sessions – hit 29:26 – woohoo!  And celebrating by making a pot of hot and sour soup from scratch…topped with fresh crabmeat!  Getting the Christmas tree decorated and figuring out what last-minute shopping I still need to do and vowing not to be in the mall on Christmas Eve like I was last year, eesh.  I love weekends where there’s a list of stuff to do but no rush to do them.  This is the time I need to mentally reset.  I have 3 social evening events in the city this week and need to figure out how to make more hours in the day, ha ha!  Work is still going to be intense with longer hours required of all of us. 

So today is a day of recharging and refreshing.  Gearing up for a whirlwind, glorious week ahead.  Book club at a wine cafe.  A concert at Benaroya Hall – what a treasured jewel right smack in the heart of downtown Seattle.  And a major birthday celebration for a wonderful friend of mine to cap off the week in style.  I simply can’t wait!

Come Meet My Soul – the Journey, part 3

02 Sunday Dec 2012

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This is the 3rd of a 4-part series of posts to explore more about the 4 qualities that really are truly, uniquely me.  Last week’s post was all about PASSION…the fuel, fire, enthusiasm and zest for life and whatever I happen to be doing at the moment…or thinking about doing!

Now we’re at KINDNESS.  And I thought, well, why not check the dictionary – I think I know what it means, but what does it mean?  The word ‘kind’ means “of a sympathetic or helpful nature.”  And kindness is “the quality or state of being kind.” 

I remember when this word ‘popped’ for me in this part of our workshop exercise.  I had a mini freak-out moment.  Well, not really, but my stomach flipped a little.  But then I took a deep breath…and I knew it popped for a reason.  Yes, this is truly one of my 4 noble qualities.  This IS one of 4 things that fuels me and that I have boundless, endless amounts of – to share with the whole world and to make the world a better place.

I think I had that freak-out moment because it triggered some insecurities inside me.  Some see kindness as a weakness.  And I didn’t want to be thought of as weak.  I don’t ever want to be.  I actually had flashbacks of my childhood.  I got teased a lot for being so nice.  Genuinely nice!  Man, kids are so cruel to one another sometimes, don’t you think? 

Kindness is anything but weak.  I try to practice kindness with a good dose of healthy boundaries.  Sometimes the kind thing to do is to walk away from a bad situation and not engage further in the ‘poison.’  Or to not say anything at all – avoiding cattiness and gossip. But I’m not always happy, nice, cheerful and kind all the time.  Read other posts in here and you’ll know this.  I’m human and not a robot.  I have a bad temper, but I’ve learned to harness it and breathe through it – most of the time.  I’ve gone through low points of despair and depression – feeling broken and hopeless.  Lonely.  Misunderstood.  Angry.  But I do always come back to center.

However, I do go into new situations brimming with kindness and positivity (these two words are pretty much inseparable in my world).  This project IS going to be successful.  I WILL like that person I’m going to be introduced to and they’ll like me too.  I WILL enjoy and savor that new recipe…or that new restaurant I’m going to try.  That magazine I’m going to read.  That new exercise routine.  Know that glass half empty vs half full saying?  Well, for me the glass overflows with happiness.  I can’t remember exactly where I read or heard this, but there was some lady explaining how when she first meets people, her default is she DOESN’T like them.  That person has to ‘prove’ themselves through their personality and their behavior that she is ‘worthy’ of liking them.  All I can say to that is BARF.  UGH.  PUKE.  That’s soooo anathema to how I’m wired.  So maybe that example, explaining the opposite of how I’m wired, will make it more clear how I AM. 

So…what if that person I’m introduced to ends up being a total jerk – mean, angry, bigoted, ignorant?  It depends.  If it’s someone I’m talking to at a party and I’m not finding any common ground for us to connect with (the weather is always a last gasp attempt at conversation), well, the kind thing to do is to listen to learn.  Find out what makes this person tick!  Our default is to immediately decide whether we agree or disagree with what the other person is saying.  It takes practice to challenge that and to actually listen.  [Lord knows this came out on turbo overload during the elections!]  Or, the kind thing to do might be to excuse myself to the ladies room, powder my nose, and strike up conversation with someone else!

If it’s someone I’m working with, that’s a whole other challenge.  One of my strengths is developing great rapport and relationships with my co-workers.  I do mostly short-term consulting engagements which typically last a year or less.  So I’m constantly wrapping up something, finding another work assignment, and pretty much starting all over, working with completely different people, a completely different project and a completely different work environment paradigm if you will.  But this is a well-developed muscle within me – tootin’ my horn just a little here.  If I’m not hitting it off well with someone on a new team, I put it in perspective.  How much will I be working with this person?  How are they perceived by others on the team…is he/she in a leadership role, or one that wields a lot of influence otherwise?  Is he/she respected by others?  How long am I even going to be on this work assignment to want to invest my valuable energy ‘winning this person over’?  If it’s relatively short, I’m not going to sweat it.

Eeeking out any form of common ground with someone I don’t naturally resonate with can be very challenging.  But again, I try to listen to learn.  And I remember that, especially with men, that their opinions are everything to them.  If a man unloads his opinions on me and I vehemently disagree with every single one, well, I breathe and remember that he’s sharing them with me because he trusts me.  I’ve made it a ‘safe place’ for him to communicate.  That’s me being kind.

Not sure if this is making any sense.  That’s OK – this is my outlet for random streams of consciousness.  I love the freedom in here…and I hope you’re enjoying this journey as much as I am!

Next post:  PEACE

Come Meet My Soul – a 4-part Journey

18 Sunday Nov 2012

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Oh yeah, here we go!  I’ve taken a beautiful leap of faith with that feeling of flying and the air whooshing all around me…and I firmly grabbed the swinging trapeze bar.  With a huge smile on my face and a squeal of delight! Bingo.

What’s going on here?  Well, last weekend I took a 3-day transformational workshop for women which was all about finding, nurturing and celebrating our inner selves.  Our inner Queens if you will.  Finding out how to bring out the best of ourselves, which in turn brings energy and life to those around us.  Understanding the power of femininity – what makes us beautiful, powerful, essential and magical!

I went in with an open heart and open mind.  And the dial on 10.  I truly believe to fully get and gain the benefits of workshops like this that you have to be in a clear, open state.  Throw away any skepticism or doubts.  Leave daily stresses behind. Given we started on a Friday afternoon, it was wonderful that we each got a moment to ’empty our basket’ in small groups.  Meaning, to take 3-5 minutes to just unload and share what’s on our minds.  Concerns with family, work…even a little guilt about being in the workshop and not taking care of what we’d normally be doing.  That was my basket to unload; I’d cleared that Friday half-day off from work months ago, but our project was starting to go sideways and it felt weird to pull away from the team.  But once I arrived downtown at the hotel where the workshop was, grabbed a quick late lunch and walked into our room, I felt calm and left that all behind.  I was ready to learn and grow.

I stumble a bit trying to describe what we did because it would not be the complete picture for anyone reading these words.  It would be like taking an apple, stamping the bottom of it on an ink pad, and printing it onto a sheet of paper.  All you would see are the 4 bottom points of the apple where it hits the paper.  That’s what my words would be like trying to explain this workshop in greater detail.  You wouldn’t ‘see’ the full apple and wouldn’t have the full context.  So with that in mind, I’ll give it a whirl.

One of our exercises was to find out what it is we wish for the whole world.  What qualities are the strongest in each of us that make the world a better place?  Once we completed these exercises and started sharing our wishes – really, ourselves – with others, it was amazing.  I looked around me and saw women transformed.  Becoming even more beautiful, relaxed and serene.  Glowing.  Yummy.  Facial tensions from our everyday stresses melting away.  A vibe of happiness and contentment filled the conference room and I could literally see it floating through the windows and swirling out into the bustling, horn-honking high energy of downtown Seattle.  I could tell one of the women wasn’t completely happy with the 4 words she chose.  But the next day she re-introduced herself to us – we were a group of 35 – and her new words truly were hers.  I was sitting right behind her and felt warmth, love and peaceful energy flowing from her.  What an incredible feeling!

So who am I?  Meet JOY.  Joy is at the seat of my soul.  It’s one of the essential pillars to be me.  Joy is happiness multiplied by infinity.  I see joy as a huge trampoline to jump and celebrate upon, or a bunch of springs going boing-boing-boing.  Funny, maybe that’s why I REALLY loved Slinkys as a kid.  When I feel joy I feel like vaulting out of my seat – a double back flip with a full twist and stick the landing!  Or just jumping up and down!  I mean seriously, if I can’t live and breathe each day of my life with joy, I might as well fold up the tent and go home.

I’ve been told sometimes that I’m “too happy.”  HUH??  Well, compared to WHAT??  I know I’m not happy all the time.  If you follow along in here you know that too.  I work through lots of struggles, problems, sadness and anger.  Life. But even at my lowest moments, I know JOY is my pilot light keeping me going.  She might just be a little dim or flickering temporarily, but she’ll shine bright and full strength again.  When she does, I’m back at my center.

And I doodle joy with stars.  Yep, it’s true!  Look through my yellow notepads of scribblings or in my work Filofax and there are stars everywhere.  I still have a large, brass paperweight a director gave me at work over 15 years ago.  What is it?  A star.  I love the shape of stars and I love looking up at the stars as they sparkle and shine at night (OK, I have to use the imagination this time of year in Seattle but I can picture it).  I ‘hear’ them twinkling in the sky.  I wonder at what’s out there.  I have an unusual love of both astronomy AND astrology…but they both are all about the stars.

I love writing joy with smiley faces.  Those emoticons we sprinkle into our online/email writings or texts?  I really and truly ‘hear’ them smiling.  I couldn’t possibly put into words what smiling sounds like but it’s a joyful, delicious sound. Oh, and know what else?  Joy just happens to be my sister-in-law’s name.  And I have THE best sister-in-law in the world, just sayin’.

Just three letters – but oh so much behind them!

An APB on my Inner Queen

04 Sunday Nov 2012

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It’s an extra blissful Sunday morning…one of my favorite times of the year!  We’ve fallen back.  That glorious extra hour gift from the end of Daylight Savings Time.  What are you doing with YOURS?

I was at the salon yesterday getting my highlights touched up.  H has been doing my hair color for over 20 years – she’s awesome and I feel like we’ve grown up together because we’re about the same age.  I almost fell out of my chair when she mentioned her daughter turned NINETEEN on Halloween.  Wow – I remember when H was pregnant with her!  So she asked what I was up to this weekend…any big plans?  It’s always fun having some place to go out with your hair all freshly colored and styled.  But nope – not last night.  Just a run to the grocery store and veging out browsing a new cookbook, talking with my Mom on the phone, watching the latest Real Housewives of Miami episode (thank you, DVR)…I’m shamelessly addicted to each franchise of The Real Housewives – I never get tired of their catty drama…these ladies kill me! And speaking of TV, I’m feeling the hunger and emptiness of no NHL hockey (stupid lockout)…normally this time of year the season would be in full swing and I’d have 9 or 10 channels of hockey to choose from.  This past week they canceled the annual Winter Classic.  This is not good, fellow hockey fans.  As a friend of mine posted on Facebook, “It’s a little like when you know you’ve hurt your leg, but having them cancel the Winter Classic is like seeing the bone poking out.”  Dammit, people, let’s make a deal already and get our boys back on the ice!  (The dispute is over the revenue sharing split between the NHL and the players’ union).  Well, if things keep going as they have been, they’ll have a blast figuring out how to split ZERO.  Oh, I try to remain optimistic but if there’s no hockey this season it’s gonna be one long, empty winter.  And spring.

So not really having any major plans this weekend was just fine with me.  Downtime gives me the fuel I need to recharge.  This upcoming week is going to be super busy and crescendo-ing all the way through next weekend, and I’m feeling all tingly just thinking about it!

Back in late April I went to a weekend-long transformational workshop for women which focuses on understanding (and celebrating) men and their behavior.  In fact, the name of the workshop is Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women!  Wow!  Kind of a different way to look at that whole dealio, right?  It has completely changed my perspective of men and melted away lots of past resentments and misunderstandings. I’ve forgiven myself for my past actions which have (unintentionally) damaged relationships with men in my life – family, co-workers, platonic friendships and men I’ve dated and had relationships with. I didn’t know what I didn’t know! The women I’ve met in these workshops tell me their relationships with their husbands and sons have bolted to a whole other level.  This coursework also saves marriages!  Wow!

Now, this doesn’t mean I still don’t occasionally get frustrated or puzzled or even angered.  And it doesn’t make excuses for anyone.  It’s kind of like getting a new set of glasses and forgetting to put them on – it’s easy to fall back into old habits of reacting and responding certain ways or making incorrect assumptions.  That’s OK.  I have the rest of my life to learn, practice and grow as I apply what I’ve learned every day!  Men have VERY good reasons for why they do what they do (or don’t do), and most often the reason is NOT what we as women might think it is!  It’s truly astonishing how differently we are wired! 

I’m getting a double-shot bonus of TWO buckets of new goodness which build upon the CMSW workshop from last spring.  First of all, Alison A. Armstrong, the champion behind this amazing material, has just published a new e-book called The Queen’s Code.  It’s not your typical book!  It’s actually a comprehensive, online experience.  Each week she releases a new chapter to read and download onto your device of choice.  The website allows you to post a short video with a question about the chapter contents (totally optional of course), and fellow subscribers can vote on their favorite questions.  Then, Alison does a ‘weekly wrap up,’ where she posts her own video, responding to the questions which received the most votes.  I’ve never experienced anything like this and if you are the slightest bit intrigued I highly recommend checking the website out and joining the conversation.  The book and online experience is just $14.95.  [I’m not affiliated with the company at all – just a huge fan!]

I also joined a book club which meets every week to discuss the latest chapter. We are meeting at Wine Tea Chocolate in Seattle’s Fremont neighborhood. Not only is this a great group to gather with, but also fun for me to get my ‘city fix’ and out of the suburbs.  And we’re blessed to have a guy joining our conversation as well – nothing better than getting things validated straight from the male point of view!

AND, next weekend I will be joining a second weekend-long workshop which builds upon what I learned last April.  It’s called Celebrating Women:  Regarding Ecstasy and Power.  Or “The Queen Course.”  I’ve been counting the weeks and months waiting in anticipation for next weekend…and it’s almost here!  Why is this course I signed up for months ago also now right in the middle of the Queen’s Code e-book chapters and our book club?  There are no accidents.  It’s time for me to really look deep within myself and learn how to better nurture myself.  Improve my own, unique operating manual.  It’s kind of funny trying to write about something I’m going to do when I don’t really even know what’s going to happen. 

I just know it’s going to be a fabulous, growing experience.