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First Soup of 2016! Red Lentil and North African Spices

18 Monday Jan 2016

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How’s everyone’s 2016 so far?  All’s fabulous here…lots more to do getting settled into the new apartment and fantastic new life in Seattle proper!  LOTS and lots of downsizing and purging…when you go from a 3 bedroom 1450 sq ft townhouse to an (awesome) NEW 1 bedroom with 650 sq ft…well, it’s an adjustment!  IMG_0565And an incredible adjustment it is.  Joyous, cleansing and full of happiness.  I’m learning how much I unconsciously “filled” the large spaces in the townhouse with crap I didn’t need.  Kitchen gadgets.  Clothes.  Towels.  Sheets.  God knows what else.

Now I’m learning that everything…EVERYTHING in the new apartment needs to Earn. Its. Keep.  Everything’s gotta count!  That means choosing pieces which are best sellers that not only are beautiful but are functional as well.  Exhibit A:  the gorgeous 6 3/4 quart (~6.3 l) Le Creuset cast iron Dutch oven…my housewarming gift to myself!  This will last me a lifetime…and it was a terrific find at an outlet about an hour drive north.  It’s a “closeout” color – love the gorgeous blue!

I’m continuing my love affair with making soup from scratch, which started probably 3-4 years ago.  Search on “soup” in here and see what pops up!

E and I made a delicious red lentil soup with North African spices we found in a recent issue of Cook’s Illustrated.  As the recipe explains, red lentils are relatively quick and easy to cook, as their skins are already removed.  Meaning, no hours of soaking required!  Hooray! We just gave these a quick rinse in a colander and they were good to go.  Don’t have a stick blender to puree your soup?  No problem here.  Just grab a large whisk and give the soup a whirl at the end of the cooking process to give it a coarse texture.

Serves 4 to 6

  • 4 T unsalted butter
  • 1 large onion, chopped fine
  • Salt and pepper
  • 3/4 tsp ground coriander
  • 1/2 tsp ground cumin
  • 1/4 tsp ground ginger
  • 1/8 tsp ground cinnamon
  • Pinch of cayenne
  • 1 T tomato paste
  • 1 garlic clove, minced
  • 4 C chicken broth
  • 2 C water
  • 10.5 oz (1 1/2 cups) red lentils, picked over and rinsed
  • 2 T lemon juice, plus extra for seasoning
  • 1 1/2 tsp dried mint, crumbled
  • 1 tsp paprika
  • 1/4 C chopped cilantro

Melt 2 T butter in a large saucepan over medium heat.  Add onion and 1 tsp salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened but not browned, about 5 minutes.  Add coriander, cumin, ginger, cinnamon, cayenne and 1/4 tsp pepper and cook until fragrant, about 2 minutes.  Stir in tomato paste and garlic and cook for 1 minute.  Stir in broth, water and lentils and bring to a simmer.  Simmer vigorously, stirring occasionally, until lentils are soft and about half are broken down, about 15 minutes.

Whisk soup vigorously until it is coarsely pureed, about 30 seconds.  Stir in lemon juice and season with salt and extra lemon juice to taste.  Cover and keep warm.  The soup can be refrigerated for up to 3 days.  Thin the soup with water, if desired, when reheating.

Melt remaining 2 T butter in a small skillet.  Remove from heat and stir in mint and paprika.  Ladle soup into individual bowls, drizzle each portion with 1 tsp spiced butter, sprinkle with cilantro and serve.

Fivenineteen notes:  Oh my goodness, just one clove of garlic??  Criminal!  Don’t skimp here…rather, we used an entire head.  And feel free to amp up the spices much more than this recipe called for.  We did use a few ounces more than the 10.5 called for, and I think that made the soup a lot more bland than we liked.  That’s what leftovers are for, right?  Time to add more spices!  We also used salted butter and it made no difference.

Buon appetito!

“Keep on going…”

15 Sunday Jun 2014

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…Oh the simple and so profoundly wise words from my Dad.  Perfect title for today’s post on Father’s Day.  When I read those words I feel his love.  He’s my cheerleader for sure.  His words make me smile with renewed energy and enthusiasm and weep from exhaustion.  Dig deep, fivenineteen.  You’ve got this.  Yeah, I know I do.

I’m heads down 3 weeks into the hardest work I’ve done in my entire career.  Looking for work, full-time, as I am unemployed right now.  Every day I talk my phone down to near zero battery.  Emails fly back and forth.  Interviews get set up – both on the phone and in person.  The job log spreadsheet fills up line by line, documenting everything.  When you’re collecting unemployment this is what you’re supposed to do – keep a job log.  For me it also keeps my brain from going to mush and makes me proud to see how much I’ve accomplished.

In fact I’ve been so heads down I haven’t been checking my snail mail very regularly.  And OOPS on Wednesday I opened up mail and found a notice I was randomly chosen to attend a mandatory re-employment class for 3 hours at the unemployment office…on Tuesday.  As in the day prior.  Holy fuck.  I was mortified I’d missed the class!  Why the hell don’t they notify you in email as well as snail mail?  They notify you over email when you open an unemployment claim.  UGH.  Shows me how much we’ve (I’ve) become dependent on email for real.  So I actually drove to the unemployment office with the notice in hand.  I even brought my home laptop with me in case they wanted to see my resume and job hunting log.  Home printer is on the fritz.  I walked up to the counter and very nicely said “I missed a re-employment session…could you help me get rescheduled for another one?”  The man behind the desk looked at my notice and said “this was yesterday!”  I said yes, I missed the session…could you help me get rescheduled for another one?  He scratched his head and said “well, we might be able to get you into the…hmmm….not sure…I’ll be right back.”  That sounded hopeful.  He disappeared down the hall for a few minutes and I waited, wondering.  When he returned he said, “we’ve got a problem.”  I said “Oh?  What’s that?”  “There is no makeup session.  You’ll get a questionnaire in your mail which you will need to fill out and return to us ASAP.”  Wow.  I was stunned.  And at that point there would be no point to say anything further to counter what he told me.  That I’ve been heads down hard at my job search.  That I was more productive on my own in those three hours than I would have been sitting through a class telling me what I already know how to do.  I’m no deadbeat slacker here, people.  Sheesh.  They have those sessions all the time I’m sure.  It’s not like that was going to be the last one ever.  And I made an effort to come forward to get myself rescheduled and get told no?  Nice government bureaucracy.

At least I have my documentation in order.  And now I know to check my mail every day…that probably needs a daily pop up reminder in my Outlook calendar!  The job market is strong and I’ve received some really great leads out there.  And interviews!  Ah yes, my time to shine.  And learn.  Interviewing is a two-way street…they’ve gotta sell me on why their place is such a great place to work I’d be silly not to join them!  Seriously.

I’m also today mourning what is likely the end of a friendship with my guy BFF. It makes me so sad to write these words.  He deeply wounded me last weekend, going to a very bad place with me where when I speak up for myself and end up getting excluded from a social situation that is beyond the worst level of SUCK.  I can’t even string that last sentence together…that’s how awful being excluded like that makes me feel.  Just an uber-sensitive, tender place in my soul.  Last weekend I was supposed to meet up with him and meet his new girlfriend.  The two of them have gotten serious really fast and it was so cool to hear!  I am truly, genuinely happy for him. L was in the last phases of moving back to Chicago and was here in town to finish up last-minute stuff with his girlfriend along for the trip.  The three of us planned to meet at a bar with live music in Seattle.  That Saturday morning I got a text from him asking if I would pick the two of them up at their hotel downtown and then drive them out to the neighborhood where the concert was going to be.  He says the bus service isn’t that great that time of night.  I was surprised, as I had thought they were staying at the house he had been renting, which wasn’t far from the neighborhood where the bar was.  And I thought wow, if they’re already staying downtown, why don’t we just go out somewhere downtown and not kill ourselves going to an extremely jam-packed neighborhood with horrible parking?  So I suggested that over text and he said OK.  Gave me the time and the hotel room number.  Terrific!

I hopped in the shower and when I had finished drying my hair I got another text saying he was feeling sick and was probably going to just stay in for the night.  What a bummer!  For a split second I didn’t believe him.  He’s known to change things on a whim sometimes but well, if you’re sick you’re sick.  I decided to take it at face value.  I called and got his voicemail and told him I was sorry he wasn’t feeling well and that I hoped he got better soon, especially as they were flying back to Chicago the next morning.  I was bummed I wouldn’t get to see the two of them after all.

A few hours later I got another text asking if I would pack up some remaining books and things that were still at the house he had been renting and ship them to him.  “Since you have a lot of time on your hands these days…” is how he framed up that request.  WOW.  He obviously has NO idea how hard I’m working to find work.  Keep in mind his former house is about a 45 minute drive from mine.  I went from feeling bummed to feeling irritated.

Then the final straw…he texted later in the evening and said “well, we ended up going to the concert anyway…wow my ears hurt.”  WTF???  I was SO FURIOUS by now I could not see straight.  Why didn’t he tell me they were going to go anyway?  He said he assumed I wasn’t into going to the concert and he didn’t want his girlfriend going by herself.  HUH??  Why didn’t he tell me his girlfriend was so adamant about wanting to go?  If it was that important to her of course I would have gone.  [It’s not like it was a big name concert or anything…it was a freakin’ 90s cover band. Whoop dee doo.] Why didn’t he understand that seeing the two of them trumped everything else?  Why did he shut me out?  Keep in mind I had already had a date lined up that night and I told that guy that L and his girlfriend were in town so could I take a rain check.  He said of course.  Now I feel doubly screwed over.  I turned down date plans and now my plans first get sick and then go out anyway without even telling me.  That is NOT COOL.  And I told L just that.  All I did was suggest doing something else – he does that to me all the time!  Why is it not OK when I do the same?  I told him if I had known that his girlfriend was really wanting to go to that one venue then of course I would have gone.

Through all of this I have not received one single apology.  Rather, I got a rant on Facebook messaging that I’m taking this way too seriously.  Then I got unfriended.  Wow.  No acknowledgement of my point of view at all.  And by the way, when I told my date what happened and apologized to him for getting caught in the tangle, he pointed out that his girlfriend doesn’t sound very considerate if she is insisting on going out even when he’s sick.  Well, I don’t know her at all but that was an interesting observation.

I’m realizing I’ve been dealing with an emotionally immature man, and it’s probably best I don’t interact with him.  I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again or not…maybe in time wounds will heal.  For now, I give myself space.

And now I embrace the upcoming week ahead…and the job lead follow ups I need to do.  Oh that Tom Petty was so right…”the waiting is the hardest part.”

 

The Long, Crappy Weekend

10 Sunday Nov 2013

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For the first time in probably 15 years I have tomorrow (Veterans Day) as a holiday!  No work!  WOW.  And this company is actually observing it as a holiday for the very first time.  Cool thing to do!

And oddly enough right now, I wish it wasn’t so I could keep busy with work.  I’m sure I’ll find stuff to do.  I know there’s tons of stuff to do, starting with getting all the clothes from my closet which are now draped on a railing down in the living room sorted through for a big Purge.  And a big Goodwill run.  Yeah, that’ll feel great!

How hollow it feels when you think you’re feeling great and everything in your life is going really well and then WHAMMO it all changes and goes sideways.  Upside down.

My grandmother (turned 97 in July!) fell recently and isn’t pulling out very well with her recovery.  She’s sleeping a lot and doesn’t have much of an appetite.  That might be partly due to her pain medication (she has a compression fracture in her lumbar)…and it might also be because she’s slowing down.  What an amazing woman she is.  Amazing and inspirational…even those words fall short when describing her.  I’m so blessed to be in my 40s and still have a grandparent around who is loving and coherent.

And now here’s where it gets more teary…J.  Wonderful J.  So wonderful with all he’s done and provided.  So much fun we’ve had together these nearly 11 (!) months.  A couple of hikes.  Just hanging and watching football.  The day trip to Mount St. Helens on my birthday. Going on walks.  Tackling my beyond messy garage and transforming it into the most organized room in the house.  Support for my journey into improved fitness.  Time with his friends.  Parties.  Spontaneous cooking and barbecuing together.  Lazy, relaxing mornings.  I took everything he said and did as signs of love for me.  But on Friday night I learned that wasn’t true.  He told me he wasn’t in love with me and probably never will be.

It’s like thinking something is real and finding out it wasn’t.  Well no, that’s not quite true…I’m really struggling for the right words here.  I know I’m not angry.  Just sad…really sad.  I’ve had my good hours and bad hours.  We both really like each other – that’s no doubt.  And if we were to never see each other again we’d both be sad.

He still wants to help me with my home projects.  What a relief, as I’ve got a bedroom, bed and closet that need help getting put back together big time.

So we’ll just see how this goes.  This is uncharted territory for both of us.  If he never wanted to see me again he would have told me that and that would have been that.  That’s more typical in how our past relationships have ended.

Mercury is retrograde through today.  Well shit…no wonder!!  Damn…everyone around me at work and people I’ve talked to said last week was really rough for lots of reasons.  And now I’ve got two more to add to that.

I’m not mad at J.  In fact, what he did, as painful and hard as it was to hear, really showed a lot of respect for me and integrity on his part.  I really, truly believe this!!

So…low to no drama here.  That’s how we roll here in fivenineteen land…well, for the most part.  I’m not going to scream and break dishes.  I’m not going to drive off a cliff.  I’m just going to feel my emotions as they well up and take care of myself.  I’m not going to beat myself up for misinterpreting his time and actions.  That’s a hard habit to break but I keep trying.

Come Meet My Soul – the Journey, Part 4 of 4

16 Sunday Dec 2012

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I have to laugh a little at myself because it seems whenever I try to do a ‘mini series’ of themed posts in here I lose my weekly blogging pace.  Exhibit A:  my review of the Four Agreements book last year.  Normally this glorious Sunday blogging ritual is something I look forward to…waking up with a smile after sleeping in a bit.  Sitting down at the keyboard either totally ready and knowing what I’m going to blog about…or with zero idea and just seeing what happens when I type.  I love both scenarios actually!  There’s no need for a safety net in here.  Last weekend was recovery from mental exhaustion, and I just needed to truly chill and not do much of anything except get in the gym and enjoy some downtime and cooking. 

So, it’s good to be back here after an unexpected vacay.  It’s a steely-grey, damp Sunday morning.  Silence save for a few occasional cars out on the main road.  Funny how I can tell what the weather is like before I even look out my window every morning.  The cars sound totally different on wet asphalt vs dry.

Back in mid November I started this 4-part “come meet my soul” mini series.  Joy.  Passion.  Kindness.  Today’s theme is PEACE.

How wonderfully fitting that this peace post falls right smack in the holiday season.  It’s what we all wish for and pray for.  Sometimes it’s a hard struggle out there to imagine a world with peace.  This horrific school shooting in Connecticut late last week makes me want to cry and throw up all at the same time.  I teared up when I saw my cousin’s Facebook post that “….more parents have lost their children today.”  Those words were a kick in the stomach.  My cousin and her husband lost their son in a drowning accident in 2004.  On Father’s Day of all days.  He would have turned 10 this year.  And I saw a list of the shooting victims and their birth dates.  Children born in 2006 (2006) lost their lives.  I just don’t have any words for this.

I don’t know if we’ll ever get to a state of world peace.  But I think however we get there it’s a personal responsibility…it starts with each of us as individuals.  Every day.  What choices do we make from what life puts before us each day?  Do we go through the motions unconsciously, or perhaps with a state of anger?  Or of calm?  Of happiness?  With a hunger to change things for the better?  And how?

I’m told I have a calm, grounded presence in times of stress…and to me that is peace personified.  Honestly I am much better at ‘holding’ that stance at work rather than outside of work.  But again, I’m human.  Sometimes I get jittery and rattled when my confidence is challenged.  I think we all do though.  I’m trying to continue to practice breathing through problems…and asking for help and support when I need it. Being vulnerable when I need to be – and it’s OK.  This is far easier to do when I’m feeling – well – at peace.  Rested, fed, getting enough exercise…all the basics that fuel the best Me.  If I’m tired, cranky or had a tough day at work I’ve got very little left in my reserves to deal with much more.  Lately that’s how it’s been.  Man, actually for the last month work has been nutso.  Normally this time of year is the slow winding down before the holidays.  This year it’s been nothing but madness.  But madness in a good way.  This team continues to blow me away with how collaborative and helpful and respectful we are to one another while fighting the fiercest of fires.  It’s a true ensemble cast without backstabbing or finger-pointing or not saying ‘that’s not my job,’ when we all need to put other priorities aside and focus on fixing the most burning ones.  When this work engagement wraps up for me next month (by design), they’re going to be a tough act to follow.

So peace to me means being calm.  Bringing a state of serenity and grace to those around me.  Which in turn brings warmth…and love.

And this weekend has been a glorious self-refueling to get back to that center of peace.  Sleep.  Exercise. Excitement…I finally broke the 30 minute barrier in my 5000m rowing machine sessions – hit 29:26 – woohoo!  And celebrating by making a pot of hot and sour soup from scratch…topped with fresh crabmeat!  Getting the Christmas tree decorated and figuring out what last-minute shopping I still need to do and vowing not to be in the mall on Christmas Eve like I was last year, eesh.  I love weekends where there’s a list of stuff to do but no rush to do them.  This is the time I need to mentally reset.  I have 3 social evening events in the city this week and need to figure out how to make more hours in the day, ha ha!  Work is still going to be intense with longer hours required of all of us. 

So today is a day of recharging and refreshing.  Gearing up for a whirlwind, glorious week ahead.  Book club at a wine cafe.  A concert at Benaroya Hall – what a treasured jewel right smack in the heart of downtown Seattle.  And a major birthday celebration for a wonderful friend of mine to cap off the week in style.  I simply can’t wait!

Snail Mail

08 Sunday Jan 2012

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It’s been a pretty relaxing weekend…dang, that first week back after the holidays can be a little intense.  But nothing a virtual helmet and heat shield can’t fix.  I laugh to myself as I write this, for two years ago the New Year started off for me unemployed.  And went that way for several, sometimes-very-painful months.  So I suppose I should keep my trap (er, keyboard?) shut and not complain.  On the other hand, maybe this is a sign that times are getting better workwise and we’re back to the routine again.

I got quite a few tasks done at home including getting tons of mail sorted through, read, bills paid and everything shredded up for recycling.  Dang that feels good!  I am so happy that lots of magazines now have an option to renew subscriptions online instead of mailing in a check.  I have a bad habit of going sure, renew me, and then I mail in one of those “bill me later” forms.  Well, when you do that in October and you haven’t yet paid by January…oops.  Anyway, thanks to the internet I’m good to go.  And I just have a couple of quick thank you notes to write for Christmas gifts and I’ll be in good shape.

My mailbox goes a tad crazy over the holidays with Christmas cards, great pictures and those often-polarizing Christmas card letters.  Oh how I – mostly – enjoy reading them and hearing what everyone’s up to.  I read and wonder wow, it’s been years and years since I’ve seen some of these families.  Where does the time go?  And I giggle that I even still receive Christmas cards from people at all…the last time I ever sent out any myself was probably 1996.

Those letters!  Mostly super enjoying to savor and read, but others seem rather self-indulgent and even arrogant.  Blech.  No thanks.  

Then there’s my college BFF, P.  Her family Christmas letters are so full of love – love for family and for everyone – and the love just comes bouncing off the page as I read.  And she always includes a hand-written very nice blurb at the end of the letter.  This year’s words just went straight to my heart:  “I hope you know how I think of you and talk about you often.  We made some great memories and though we don’t talk much I still see you as a best friend.”  I about burst into tears of happiness….yes…THIS is EXACTLY how I feel too!

P and I were sorority sisters in college.  We were not really in the same circles within the house and did not really become close friends until probably our junior year.  I’d pledged as a sophomore and the group I ran with was a little different than hers.  Kinda funny how even a small, liberal-arts university (with just 1600 undergrads) can still have its pockets and all, even though everyone pretty much knew everyone.  But our sorority was pretty big for a small university – around 80-90 members, as were the other two houses.  P and I had an apartment off campus our senior year…what an incredible experience that was for us after living in the dorms our freshmen year and in the sorority for two (spoiled with a very nice house and amazing food service compared to the dorm food).  The apartment was just a short two blocks away but it might as well have been the moon.  The campus is a square mile bubble of goodness in a town that, well, frankly is a little rough in patches.  I’ve driven by where she and I used to live those two decades ago and shudder…she and I lived THERE? In that crappy apartment? 

I looked through P’s family pictures in the envelope – wow her kids are so incredibly cute!  P does not use email a lot and only periodically surfaces in Facebook land.  I thought today, you know what, I’m going to sit down and write her a letter.  A LETTER!

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  Or maybe a freight train.  When in the hell was the last time I wrote an actual snail mail letter to a friend?  To anyone??   And I challenge any of you who stumble around in here…when was the last time for you?  Not a quick postcard, not an email, not a text, not any messaging in Facebook or LinkedIn or other social media.  Hmmm??  For me it’s probably over a year.  And probably much longer than that for a hand-written snail mail letter.  Oh Lordy my handwriting has declined over the years.  I even remember way back it used to be common practice to send thank you letters – in snail mail – after job interviews.  Nowadays things move too fast.  Haven’t done that any time in this century I’m afraid.  Nope, email it is.

So I sit here, smiling, ready to shift gears and start writing to P.  I’ll think she’ll love what she finds in her mailbox.     

Be Impeccable With Your Word

20 Sunday Nov 2011

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OK, we’re off and running here!  Last week I committed to blogging over the next four weeks about an amazing book I’m slowly savoring and reflecting upon.

It’s called The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz.  And if you have sharp eyes you’ll notice the picture of the book is from the nice people at Amazon.com (thanks, everyone!)  This book was written about 15 years ago, but the wisdom it contains goes back thousands of years.  The knowledge comes from the Toltec people, stemming back to southern Mexico.  It’s not a religion, but it does honor all spiritual masters who have taught on Earth.

Ruiz explains that dreaming is the main function of our minds, and our minds dream 24/7.  The difference is when we are awake “…there is a material frame that makes us perceive things in a linear way.  When we go to sleep we do not have the frame, and the dream has the tendency to change constantly.” 

Wow, that’s profound!  I never thought we’re actually dreaming while awake too (except for day dreaming).  No wonder our dreams when asleep can be so wacky and random, only making sense in their moment.  Once we’re awake – poof – they’re mostly gone.

Simple and profound – this is the exquisite content within this book.  I find it both very challenging and relaxing to read and contemplate, and much of it I will need to read several times through – joyously – to truly attempt to understand.  Don’t get me wrong – the language is easy to read and the tone is like firm love.

He calls what society teaches us “human domestication.”  We didn’t choose to speak our native tongue when we were growing up, we didn’t choose our religion – we didn’t even choose our own name!  What happens during this process is we “…form an image of what perfection is in order to try to be good enough.  We create an image of how we should be in order to be accepted by everybody…like Mom, Dad, brothers and sisters, the priests and the teacher.  Trying to be good enough for them, we create an image of perfection, but we don’t fit this image.  We create this image, but this image is not real.  We are never going to be perfect from this point of view.  Never!  Not being perfect, we reject ourselves.  And the level of self-rejection depends upon how effective the adults were in breaking our integrity.”

He talks about abuse…how much we judge and abuse ourselves for our mistakes.  In relationships, if we are with someone who abuses us more than we abuse ourselves we will likely walk away from that person.  But if we are with someone who abuses us just a bit less than we abuse ourselves, we will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.

So here is the first agreement and my (gloriously imperfect) ramblings about it:

Be Impeccable with your word.
Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Through our word we express our creative power…through it we manifest everything.  Our word is a double-edged sword…we can create beauty with it or destroy everything around us.

What does impeccable mean here?  It means we take responsibility for our actions but we do not judge or blame ourselves.

Wow.  That’s huge. *Raises hand*…I am likely the queen of self-blame and self-criticism.  Only in the past, most recent decade of my life, thanks to an amazing therapist, was this pointed out to me…reflected back in my face like a giant mirror, on how badly I beat myself up over everything I do that falls short of perfection.  Rather, we are human and gloriously flawed.  Breathe, breathe….strive for EXCELLENCE, not perfection.  This is the relatively new internal message I’ve worked so hard to incorporate into my core being, swimming upstream against decades more of habit and DNA. Oy. It’s a journey, not a quick fix.

Ruiz goes on to discuss gossip and how mainstream it is for us as a communication vehicle – and how poisonous it is, like a computer virus within our minds.  How many times have we gossiped about the person we love the most to gain support from others for our point of view?  Reality check:  your opinion is your point of view.  Doesn’t mean it’s true…rather it comes from your own belief, your own ego, your own dream.

How fertile are our minds for negative ideas and “spells” people put upon us?  If we are impeccable with our word our minds become only fertile for words that come from love.  And how we feel about ourselves – how much we love ourselves – is directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of our word.

So this is the first of four new ‘seeds’ planted in my (fertile) mind.  How impeccable am I with my word right now?  How often do I tell myself how wonderful and great I am?  Do I speak (and write) the truth in everything I do?  I’ve been called “honest to a fault” by some, and I actually take that as a huge compliment.  How many white lies do we tell every day?  To others?  To ourselves?  Yeah, I love gossip as much as the next person, but I wouldn’t label myself as gossip-y.  My goal this past week and going forward is to always say what I mean and mean what I say, both speaking and in writing.  And to not beat myself up if I am not perfect.

I feel happy and alive on this journey…waves of goodness wash all around me and inside me too. Is this some sort of cleansing?  I’m not questioning it one bit; just loving every second of this new “work.”

Next week’s Second Agreement post:  Don’t take things personally. This one’s gonna be a doozy in so many ways.