Tag Archives: sleep

Nike’s got it Right: Just Do It

03 Sunday Nov 2013

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JDIEvery day in this Lean Eating for Women program I started back in late July, we get some reading material.  Nothing overwhelmingly long…just maybe 10-15 minutes to read through.  And the material is archived so we can always go back and re-read something if needed.  The timing on these works out great for my daily routine:  given my time zone I usually get “tomorrow’s” reading in the evening here.  So I can take a sneak peek at it…and then I re-read it again in more depth after I get home from work and the gym that next evening.  And so on.  I’m blocked from lots of external sites by design at work (it’s a secure IT environment) and taking the time to read small print on my phone during a lunch break doesn’t really work for me.  And I’ve yet to pull the trigger on some sort of tablet.  Hmmmm.

OH, by the way, it’s one of my absolute favorite days of the year.  The Sunday after the end of Daylight Savings Time.  YES.  One extra, gloriously blissful hour.  Yeah, I know when we ‘spring forward’ we have the benefit of longer evening daylight hours in the summer, but the price to pay is a steep one.  Setting our clocks ahead an hour makes me feel tired, cranky and like I’m constantly running late for a good week or so until I adjust.  So now…the bliss of extra time.  Time – one of our most precious commodities of all.

Now, back to these daily readings from PN!  One of them (thankfully) shattered some weird mind perception I’ve had about people who are experts in fitness and nutrition.  Those of Olympic athlete caliber…or someone like one of my trainers at the gym who is probably 10 years my senior and puts people half his age to shame at how fit he is.  His spinning class is jam-packed with a waiting list for a reason.  I can always tell when he’s teaching, because the gym parking lot is extra packed those nights!

For some reason I had it in my head that fitness gurus are ALWAYS without fail super jazzed about what they’re doing and their workouts.  Endorphins perhaps?  Just extra happy, positive people by nature?  Motivated by achieving their fitness goals and inspiring others to do the same?

Well, maybe some or most days, but some days, well, notsomuch as it turns out!!

How illuminating this was for me, this new realization!  OK, I think I get it – there are days I’m not really going to feel like working out for all sorts of reasons.  It’s easy to come up with lots of excuses.  I just figured that as I stayed with this program and did the workouts that I would feel happier because I’m getting regular exercise, seeing improvements in my strength and muscle tone and I’m now down nearly 15 lbs since late July!  YES!  That in itself should be motivating, right?  I even had a shocker a couple of weeks ago when I actually was looking forward to working out during the workday!  Meaning, during the workday I knew later that evening I’d be at the gym…and was excited about it!  WOW! And what the hell?

But now I know I’m not going to always feel that way.  Not even when I get in more peak condition, whatever that might look like.

The point of this lesson in PN is to just do it anyway if you don’t feel like it.  Action before motivation, everyone!!  Get a routine scheduled and get what you need to surround yourself with for success!  For example, before I go to bed at night on weeknights I make sure my gym clothes, shoes, iPod and my workout printout are all ready for me to grab on the dining room table on the way out the door when leaving for work.  I make sure I have my lunch and snacks in the front of the fridge and ready to throw into my lunch bag that morning as well.  Mornings are not my strong suit.  I need my clothes, shoes and jewelry all picked out and laid out the night before so I can just get dressed, put on some makeup and get going to work as quickly and mindlessly as possible.  I don’t have time to linger and my mind is just too fuzzy at that hour to make any sense.

And when I get to the gym after work, I have my list of exercises printed out and ready to take with me!  I make sure to watch the short video clips the night before to mentally ‘practice’ them.  Maybe that in itself provides some motivation for me to keep practicing the exercises.  Every time I do them I get a little better and a little stronger.  And improved muscle tone – yes!

So action first…then motivation.  Great stuff for those days I just won’t feel like working out.  Love it!

Random Tuesday Ramblings

08 Tuesday Oct 2013

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Surprise!  It’s fivenineteen here rambling away on a Tuesday night, not Sunday afternoon!  One of my followers (who is a dear friend, check’s in the mail) teased me a little that it’s been awhile since I last posted!  Yikes, she’s right!

I had probably one of the most blissful weekends I’ve had in probably a year.  Just basking in the glow of a glorious sunny weekend in October (yes, even in Seattle), which is as rare as white tigers.

What a wonderful surprise last Friday to hear from J…typically we each just chill out separately on Friday nights as we’re pretty pooped from the workweek.  I go to the gym, come home, shower and cook a light dinner.  Wow, what a far cry from my hard partying college years…am I turning into ‘that person’ we all swore as 21-year-olds we’d NEVER be?  Yep, I guess so.  So for a very cool change of pace, he offered to come over and cook us dinner after I got home from the gym!  WOW!  Color me happy!

And what did he bring?  Boneless, skinless chicken breasts he’d been marinating all day, a sweet potato to make fries with, and some frozen peppers for a side dish!  I couldn’t believe it. I hadn’t ever even dropped a hint as to what I’d like to try eating, and he nailed it!  This is EXACTLY an example of a meal we would be encouraged to try in the Lean Eating for Women program I’m nearly 90 days into.  No meal plans, no calorie counting, no forbidden foods…rather, food can be plotted on a spectrum from Better to Worse.  And we’re encouraged to add things to our food, not take away.  As in adding more veggies and trying other alternate sources of carbs, for example.  Voila…here it was!  We peeled the sweet potato, sliced it up into French fry-shaped pieces, sprinkled some spices on top and baked until crispy!  And grilled the chicken and sautéed the pepper medley!  YUM!

On Saturday we headed over to an Oktoberfest party.  The consulting agency I was with prior to the one I’m currently with has a food palooza of sorts every year, and all of the staff cook incredible meals from scratch and serve up to their current and alum consultants!  One of the big advantages of working with a boutique agency for sure!  Normally it’s a summertime seafood theme, but this year they changed it up and did Oktoberfest. They had tons of brauts, streudel, salads, sauerkraut, handmade pretzels, mustards made from scratch, desserts and of course lots of beer for tasting in custom-made steins we got to take home as party favors!  Even some quinoa-stuffed mushrooms for a veggie/vegan option and a kale salad – I need these recipes!

Then we went home, changed our clothes and tackled more of my Garage.  Which is now the most organized room in my house thanks to J’s help.  Yes, the popcorn ceiling scraping continues in the master bedroom/vanity next week…after a major delay which is fodder for another post.  Most of my garage is below ground level and there are some problems with drainage….whenever it rains water seeps through small cracks in the concrete.  Lots of fun being at the bottom of a super steep hill.  J mixed up some concrete (we used a spoon I sacrificed and some plastic keg cups as you have to do it in small batches) and patched up a few of the cracks, after first drilling out the loose concrete where the leaks are coming from.  We’ve got more to do, but it’s a great start and has provided HUGE peace of mind for me…I’m worried about the water seepage and the damage it might be causing elsewhere.  We’ll check and see how it’s working and continue with the rest of the wall later.  This concrete mix is so powerful you can even use it under water!

Tough football weekend here…U of W Huskies lost a hard fight against Stanford, and the Seahawks’ 4-0 winning streak got snapped in Indianapolis last Sunday.  UGH.  The boys were playing the refs as well as their opponents much of each of these games, I swear!  The chitter chatter in the gym locker room tonight was still going strong!

And hockey season is underway…yes! Go Canucks!  A FULL length season this year with no Lockout!  I’m still enjoying my own personal hockey sabbatical, which could definitely become permanent but that’s OK – 9 years was a great run.

And I have other fitness goals now which have my full focus…and they’re working!

The Joy of Mornings

23 Sunday Jun 2013

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Somehow over the years I’ve become less and less of a morning person. Nope, I don’t bounce out of bed joyfully greeting the day…I’m a happy person but notsomuch in the morning generally – I’m a little groggy and not the best conversationalist.  And it’s not unusual for me to sleep in until 10:30 or 11:00am on weekend mornings.  I used to feel a little guilty about that but then I realized no, my body needs this…I’ll savor it.  And a wonderful bed with new 1200 thread count sheets makes it blissful (but not hard on the wallet…thank you overstock.com).

Back in the early to mid 1990s I lived and worked in Seattle proper.  It was an easy walk from my apartment to catch the bus to downtown – man, I really miss those days sometimes…I miss working downtown.  I’d get up at 5:00am and would be at my desk at work by 6:30am.  I had a staff of about 15 back then and the more high maintenance portion of the bunch worked the early shift so it was good for me to be onsite when they were there and have that presence.

I now look back and think DAMN, who was that girl?  Over the years my jobs have been with companies where things started a little later than normal corporate hours.  Meaning, nothing started before 9:00 or even 9:30am.  I got used to this and I guess my body just adjusted.  Throw in hockey a few years later and you’ve got a lifestyle of late nights and weird hours.  Hockey games typically wouldn’t start until 9:00pm, 10:00pm or even 11:00pm – on a Sunday night.  At a rink that might be a 40 minute drive from my house.  Thankfully there’s no traffic that late at night on Sundays. Mondays at work were brutal but most of my co-workers were understanding.

At my current job our consulting team has to be onsite in the office between 9:00am and 3:30pm.  So we can choose to work say 6:30 – 3:30 or 8 – 5:00, or 9 – 6:00.  8:30 – 5:00 is what works for me, and I take a half hour lunch break in there too.  My commute is a mere third the length of the time my prior one was, so getting to work at 8:30 is not a huge problem.

I cherish my sleep and I’m very thankful that I don’t have problems sleeping well. It’s a little hard for me to wind down and immediately go to sleep when I get in bed but once I’m out, I’m out.

Now, I had to laugh at myself when I called my favorite spa asking for a pedicure appointment.  The only time they had on Saturday was…10:00am.  A time when I’m usually somewhat comatose in bed.  But vanity won out and I reluctantly took the appointment.  Luckily there was a Starbucks nearby…hello, double tall latte!

But as I was driving to the spa yesterday morning, I looked around at took in the scenery.  People out jogging with their dogs.  Having coffee outside and having conversations like it’s mid afternoon.  Shopkeepers getting ready to open their stores…sweeping the sidewalks and power washing. WOW…so much activity going on when I’m normally dead to the world.  Maybe I’m missing out on something here!

And this morning I rolled out of bed much earlier than usual…to my cousin J’s baby shower! J is from here but she and her husband live in LA now.  And they’re expecting twins in September!  Boys!  We are so excited…and elated!  Twins don’t run in my side of the family and neither in J’s hubby’s.  So this is truly a miracle!  I admit I did a double take when I saw the shower invitation  – 10:30am.  Wow…brunch!  Everything was amazing and it was so good to see J.  I even made it without coffee!

Wonder how late I will stay up tonight?

Jet Lagged Sunday

24 Sunday Mar 2013

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If this post doesn’t make a lot of sense or if sentences drift away before they’re completed, here’s why:  I’m wired and tired. 

GREAT news that I did indeed grab the next trapeze bar…meaning, I have a new job!  And what perfect timing it was to get the offer accepted and all paperwork completed – I had a couple of weeks to truly decompress without the stress of job hunting and rest the ol’ brain and body.  I absolutely loved my last work engagement.  But it took me a good week to really mentally unwind and cleanse myself of the day-to-day stresses a job brings.  And I had a fantastic mini road trip down to Oregon to visit my wonderful friend D and then back into southern Washington to see my youngest brother and my nephews and niece!  Perfect way to cap off time off – get outta Dodge for a while!

Now it’s back to the grind – a new type of grind – as I get acclimated into my new job.  I’m at a completely different company than the one I was at prior, in a different industry and doing a slightly modified form of the Project Management work I’ve specialized in since circa 2001.  I contracted at this company 7 years ago, and boy have I grown since that time!  I’m really enjoying observing how things have changed and yet not changed in those years since I was last there.  It’s going to be a tough engagement, but I’m rested, happy and ready. 

One component of this job is running backend technology updates and deployments…and that means working overnight one weekend a month.  I knew this going into the job interview, plus I knew the schedule was set up in advance – it’s not an on-call type of scenario.  But – surprise – little did I know that THIS weekend (Saturday into today) was one of those deployment weekends!  My new manager gave me the opportunity to decline participating in it given it was short notice, but I said no, I’m diving in as long as you think I could provide value given I’m so new. (Otherwise, I’m happy to stock up on sleep!).  The only way to learn and get accustomed to something new is to just dive right in, observe and jump in wherever it’s needed!

So, I did.  Starting at – gulp – 3:00 a.m. this morning.  Yes, that’s the middle of the night.  Which meant attempting to get into bed much earlier than I normally do in order to force some sleep…while trying not to stress that the alarm really WAS set correctly to wake me up around 2:15 a.m. with enough time to throw on some comfy clothes and drive to the office.  I was surprised how many cars were on the road at that insane hour, actually!

Now I’m home, happy and sleepy but mentally replaying how well everything went with the team during the deployment despite the issues we encountered.  I don’t dare take a nap for fear of making my ‘jet lag’ even worse to where I won’t be able to sleep tonight.  I feel like I do when I get home from late night hockey games. 

Except it’s daytime and I’m not nearly as sweaty or stinky.

Staying Healthy in 2013!

07 Monday Jan 2013

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healthyHappy New Year, everyone!  I’m super-duper excited about this year and the promise of what’s ahead.  Can you feel the energy with me?  Everyone I’ve talked with and whom I’ve had the opportunity to see in person and hug with a New Year welcome so far feels it too!  I love it.  The hope and potential is boundless. Always…not only in early January but also on our ho-hum days in April and September, long after new year’s resolutions have likely faded grey.

Now, as some of you might already know, typically for the last decade or so I write off the first week of January health-wise.  Because I’m usually sick as a dog…down for the count with some sort of cold and/or flu.  With zero energy and zero appetite.  It doesn’t matter whether I’ve had a flu shot or not. Some years I get the flu even after getting a flu shot, and sometimes I don’t even without a shot.  What a crapshoot!  [For the record, I did not get a flu shot this year…and crossing fingers it’s January 7-8 and all is well.]

If I recall correctly, January 2012 was fairly healthy.  Take a look at last year’s posts and let me know what you think!  I remember getting snowed in for a week and having to work from home.  Oh boy, bring on the cabin fever!  This week we might get a little snow as well.  If it’s going to snow at all and stick around here in the Seattle area, it’s January and February for sure.

2013 is focused on my passion for increased health, fitness and wellness.  That might sound a bit overly cliché and cheesy for New Year’s goals, but I’m OK with that.  I know way deep down it will be my reality.  I had already gotten many wheels in motion (no pun intended) last fall with overall fitness.  Such as working out with a personal trainer and rowing at the gym.  I’ve worked hard on my goal of rowing 5000m in under 30 minutes and I’ve finally done it TWICE!  28:35 was my most recent time back in December – woot woot!  I can’t run a 5K anywhere near that pace (yet!) but it sure feels good to row it on a medium-weight resistance setting.  It’s a great alternative to the treadmill – which doesn’t take care of any work-related tension in my neck, shoulders and upper back, much less do any upper body muscle toning.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted about health and beauty products…so here we go (again!)  I’ll go left to right in the picture up top:

Nutritional Supplements:  they say eating right is ideal, but I think we can all use a boost.  How many of us truly eat balanced meals every single day?  With our busy, on-the-go lifestyles?  I suppose many of you out there do, and my hat is off.  I just know that supplements can go a long way in keeping the immune system boosted year ’round.  At far left in the picture is the Ocean Essentials capsules from NutriLite.  These are Omega-3 softgels, 90 per bottle.  Great for heart health, blood flow and lipid levels!  I really like these because the capsules are small to medium-sized and easy to swallow.  There is a very faint fish smell and aftertaste (not surprising) but I think that’s only noticeable to me (or so I hope!).  After about an hour (and maybe a stick of chewing gum) it goes away. NutriLite offers other supplements containing concentrated nutrients from fruits and vegetables, plus others with anti-oxidants.  I don’t have any of those in the picture right now, as refills are on the way!  But both are highly recommended.  Each are also very easy to swallow…not too large and well-shaped.

Green Coffee Bean extract:  Who hasn’t heard about this craze?  With no caffeine buzz?  I admit I got swept up with quite a few friends’ raves about this product last fall and how they were able to lose up to 3 lbs a week.  That has not been my record to date, but I don’t think they could hurt.  Plus, I have not taken them on a consistent basis as recommended. Actually, the only thing that hurt was ordering them through Evolution Slimming, and I only say that because I’m on this side of the pond.  The fantastically helpful and nice people at Evolution Slimming are based out of the UK, so the shipping was slow and tedious given this is a food/supplement type of product so I’m sure the customs clearance process took awhile.  And I had to go physically drive to my post office to pick up the package as it was sent registered mail.  No problem overall, but a little time-consuming. 

Next up we’re back with NutriLite’s Slimmetry supplements.  This supplement is designed to suppress your appetite in a healthy way if you take a few prior to each meal.  Again, I don’t do this on a routine basis, but I do notice a difference when I consciously take 2-3 pills prior to breakfast or lunch.  I don’t feel the cravings quite as much between meals!  And they are also very easy to swallow, shaped well to go down easily. 

Moisturizer!  With sunscreen!  People, I can’t stress enough how essential daily sunscreen is! I don’t care if it’s cloudy or dark out…if you’re fair-skinned like me (or even if you’re not), you will thank me for this later.  And it’s never too late to start.  I wear a moisturizer with SPF every single day under my makeup (which also, usually, has sunscreen depending upon which brand I’m wearing).  I’ve used Neutrogena’s Healthy Skin Alpha Hydroxy lotion with SPF 15 for several years (on and off – switching between brands sometimes) and I always come back to it.  It disappears into my skin quickly, meaning it doesn’t leave my skin feeling oily and leaves it ready for liquid foundation and primer.  Note that alpha hydroxy lotions can sting a little at first until your skin gets used to them, especially on your face, so definitely avoid the eye area and alternate it with other lotions every few days at first.  You’ll also want to try this lotion on your arms, hands and elbows – expect amazing results!  I find it easily at my local Bartell’s or Rite Aid drugstores, but I see it’s no longer on Neutrogena’s website (which is why the link above is on Amazon.com).  I hope it doesn’t get discontinued any time soon!

Next up is my first official beauty splurge of 2013:  La Roche-Posay Anthelios sunscreen fluid with SPF 50.  I happened to be browsing an issue of Allure magazine and this popped up as a favorite product of 2012.  So I ordered it on a total random whim and so far I’m super happy with it.  Lightweight AND SPF 50? Sign me up!  I wear it under my makeup primer and liquid foundation and it doesn’t feel heavy at all.  It’s pricey ($32.95 for 1.7 oz compared with approx. $14 for Neutrogena’s 2.5 oz alpha hydroxy), but I’m very happy so far.  The true test will be how much “a little goes a long way” or not, just like with any other more costly beauty product.

Fragrance?  Well I have a large stash of them, but my newest favorite is L’Occitane’s The Vert (green tea) solid perfume.  I can’t find this scent in solid perfume anywhere on their official website any longer, but if you can find it elsewhere it’s well worth it.  It comes in a tin like a lip balm, and the scent is clean and fresh.  It’s impossible to overdo it!  This scent DOES keep me healthy.  The green tea aroma is powerful (yet gentle), soothing, healing and builds strength within me.

What else beyond products?  Well, the magenta scarf wrapped around the picture is another essential.  Keeping my neck and throat area protected and warm while commuting and walking between buildings for meetings at work during the rainy/cold seasons is essential to staying healthy.  Us Taureans’ throats are especially vulnerable and should always be protected from cold weather to ensure our health!  I enjoy my small but fabulous wardrobe of colorful pashmina scarves and wraps…a nice pop of color to punch up my typical wardrobe of grey, dark denim and black.

Sleep?  Exercise?  Yes and Yes!  After last fall’s workshop, I learned what the contents of my own personal operating manual are!  Right down to how much sleep and how much exercise I need!  7 hours a night and 7 hours per week, respectively…to be at my optimum self.  I can try going to bed a little earlier (as hard as it can be) to get more sleep, but how the hell can I get in an hour of exercise a day, every day these days?  I used to walk 5 miles a day, every day 9 years ago around my neighborhood (which was about 90 minutes, including hills).  How can I recreate that?  I truly was in the best shape of my life after 6 months of that (35 lbs dropped off)…and that was before joining the gym I currently belong to. 

So that’s what’s on tap for now.  Getting to bed an hour earlier AND squeezing in daily exercise (rather than 3-4 times a week) will be challenging, but I am determined!  Stay tuned for more!

The Good Earthquake…continued

13 Sunday May 2012

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Last week was a happy whirlwind.  I’m astonished at how much of a catapult/slingshot/echo… not sure what I’m going to call it – has boing’d into my life the last two weeks. 

And I remember part of that was blogging last Saturday rather than Sunday.  L and I had planned on doing more of the home renovation projects in here that day, but later in the day he said that would not work out and we’d have to reschedule.  OK, no biggy.  I thought of the blank slate of Sunday ahead of me and wondered what I would do.  So many options.

Sunday morning I was dozing on and off.  It was 9:30am, 10:00am and I kept drifting back off to sleep.  The sunshine was streaming through the blinds and I knew I’d just be wasting the day if I didn’t get up soon.

Then I heard a knock at the front door downstairs.  I sat upright and wondered who it was.  I figured it was my neighbor, as I still owe him the latter half of what I paid him and his brother to power wash and re-stain my back deck.  Ummm, OK I sleep nude most of the time except in the coldest of winter (TMI, sorry) so I quickly grabbed a t-shirt and sweats and went downstairs still in a semi-fog.  Before I could get to the peephole I asked “who is it?”  It was L!!

I opened the door slightly and smiled.  I’m sure I looked a sleepy mess and whatnot.  My mind was spinning…did we agree to do the home project work today after all and I dreamt that we canceled?  His friend M’s dog was poking her nose through the doorway.  I think I mumbled and smiled…”…how are you?” 

And then the question from him that made me giggle.  “…are you alone?”  BAHAHAHA that cracked me up.  Gotta hand it to the guy giving me credit that there might be a possibility that I wouldn’t be.  That’s fodder for another post I suppose.  No, I am not dating anyone right now, Le Sigh.

So he and the dog came bouncing in and I asked if he wanted coffee.  Oh no, he said, he’d already had about 5 shots of espresso and was doing just fine…he sure was wide awake alright. He just thought it would be fun to go for a walk and just hang out and watch hockey playoffs later.  OK! 

I got showered an dressed and we headed down the street to Juanita Beach Park.  This park was purchased by the city of Kirkland from the County and was all torn up in renovations for a good year or so.  Now it’s reopened and better than ever.  I love the semi-circle boardwalk that goes far out onto the lake and back.  I drank in the sunshine, the smells, the voices of everyone around me, the beautiful green trees and the rippling blue water of Lake Washington.  THIS is the great Pacific Northwest at its finest. 

Later we cooked up a pizza and watched a little hockey.  This whole Sunday recap may not seem like a super big deal to many, but for me it sure was.  It’s extremely rare for people to show up on my doorstep spontaneously on a Sunday morning, just wanting to hang out!  Usually it’s planned a day prior or so!  I cherish my weekend sleep more than anything.  L knows this and I’m glad he showed up when he did and not much earlier!

Then another hectic workweek and lots of busy (and fun!) icing on top almost every evening:

Actually, no, wait.  Monday was a bye/breather for me.  I had a Silpada jewelry team meeting that night and just needed to decompress and chill instead.  I love the team and the jewelry we represent – I was just feeling dragged down and sluggish and needed to just have some alone time and chill.

Tuesday:  one of my brothers turned 40!  How did a YOUNGER brother of mine get to be 40??  We met up at our folks’ house for a spectacular meal of (raw) oysters for appetizers and later some glorious barbecued salmon.  Yes, everyone, I adore raw oysters.  Don’t even need cocktail sauce here.  Just a small fork and bottoms up!  YUM.

Wednesday:  And now for something completely different – for the first time in my nearly 45 (gulp) years on earth…I went to the movies by myself!  Come with me on this journey, for it’s likely going to ring odd with a lot of you who do this all the time or are movie buffs.  First of all, going to the movies (in a theatre) is wayyyyy down on my list of things I like to do.  I’m sure I miss out on a lot of great films; when I learn of the Golden Globe and Oscar nominations every year I MIGHT have seen one or two of the films, heh.  It’s just not my thing.  I’m VERY much an eat/drink/conversation type of person when I go out (or stay in!).  Sitting in a dark theatre for two hours makes me restless.  And on a first date?  Well, if the guy suggests going to the movies…ummm…well, that’s not my first choice.  I’d rather go out and socialize with him before sitting next to someone I barely know in a theatre.  Just seems odd to me.   The last time I was in a movie theatre was 2008.  I know, try not to laugh.  I saw Slumdog Millionaire and also Sex and the City.  That’s the first SATC, by the way; I saw the 2nd one on HBO the other day and it was truly an insult to fans of the series everywhere.  Glad I saved my money.

Anyway, fast forward to 2012 and I had my pick:  The Hunger Games!  I’d purchased a ticket online ahead of time and set my sights on Lincoln Square Cinemas in downtown Bellevue. I figured I could do a little shopping or grab a drink and munchies prior.

I got into Bellevue and walked around Lincoln Square.  I was absolutely SHOCKED how empty the buildings were.  True, it was around dinner hour, but still.  This is a densely packed urban-suburban city and Lincoln Square is right in its heart!  Weird.  Usually when I’m here it’s a Friday night or a weekend and it’s a packed scene.  So strange seeing it so empty. 

About a half hour prior to the movie start, I rode the escalators up to the theatre and got a small bag of $6 popcorn. Ooops…make that $6.02 with sales tax.  And silly me, I’d brought a very small black clutch so I wouldn’t have to lug my large purse from work with me into the theatre.  And I left my debit card in the big purse which was down in my car in the parking garage.  All I had was $6 cash.  I smiled at the popcorn girl sheepishly…can you float me two cents?  Sure, no problem.  I felt so silly but grateful.

I purposely got to the theatre a little earlier.  Years ago I remember going with my ex to this theatre and arriving literally 5 minutes before the movie started (punctuality was not a strong point).  And he’d get so pissed that there were no decent seats left.  Well DUH already!

I walked into the theatre (each seats around 200), peeked my head around the corner and there it was. 

Empty, and dark with just a little light classical music playing in the background.  I was the first one there!  I giggled and was a little shocked too.  So I walked in, sat down and had a moment.  Here I was in a large theatre right smack in the middle of downtown Bellevue…alone!  How surreal.  I absent-mindedly munched on my popcorn in the dark and relaxed into my seat.  Had not had that much solitude in weeks.

Turns out there were only about 10 of us in the theatre total – guess the movie has been out a little while and it was midweek. I LOVED the Hunger Games.  (No spoilers in here, don’t worry).  I will say that I’m VERY glad I read the book first, for it has so much more detail that you could not possibly incorporate into a movie.  The casting was amazing and the plot is – thankfully – spot on with the book.  And I also learned (actually CONFIRMED) that, while I’m glad I went out on a limb and tried something different, nope, I don’t like going to the movies by myself.  Aha.

Thursday:  I met my dear friend T for an early birthday dinner celebration at the Flat Iron Grill in Issaquah.  Now THIS is a superb evening out in Gilman Village.  Very warm, great service and fantastic food….with a wonderful friend!  We enjoyed a couple of cocktails…T picked out a beautiful steak and I went with the Paella, complete with clams and some sausage too.  Delicious!  And of course some gourmet French vanilla ice cream and a small creme brulee for dessert. 

Friday:   L came over in the evening so we could get started on the home renovation work again the next morning.  I made shrimp with roasted jalapenos and pancetta over linguine…oops, actually the deli had sliced up prosciutto instead of pancetta and I did not take a moment to double-check.  But it still tasted great.  And it’s a very light and healthy dish – no cream sauces.

By 10pm I was exhausted.  L crashed on the couch and I drifted upstairs to sleep.

Saturday: I woke up around 6:30am hearing the gentle thud of my front door closing.  True confession:  I had a split second “oh no” go through my body as awhile back L had left in the morning instead of doing the work in the townhouse here.  [Long story but it’s all good now].  I got up, walked downstairs and smiled.  His laptop and stuff were all still here.  I smiled more and started making coffee.  He’d just popped out for a bit to grab a coffee and fresh fruit is all.  I later made us scrambled eggs with Tabasco and toasted some bagels and we talked more about our plan of attack for the day.  How was I up so early in the morning, and so refreshed-feeling?  On a Saturday??  I was ready for us to get started but L thought we should wait until at least 9:00am given I share a common wall with my neighbor.  Oh my goodness…it was already (only!) 8:00am!!  So THIS is what it’s like when you get your ass out of bed early!!

We finished scraping and sanding down the master bedroom ceiling and vanity so it’s ready for a few coats of primer and later some paint.  For those of you just tuning in, my townhouse has that horrific popcorn ceiling nearly everywhere save for the bathrooms and kitchen.  L and I had found a tool online that has a scraper attached and you can attach an extension pole onto it like you would for a paint roll.  But UGH, no such luck.  The tool blade is too flimsy and too dull, as my ceiling is unfortunately covered with a thick coat of white paint.  So we resorted back to the 6″ joint knife (looks like a putty knife), which is harder on the back as you can’t attach an extension pole to it. 

So we’ve finished the largest room upstairs.  Next weekend (maybe Sunday) is the attack on one of the guest bedrooms.  While it’s messy, ugly work, I am hopeful the rest of the upstairs will go faster as we’ve learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t with the drop cloth taping/draping and how much/how little to do at a time.  Plus the remaining rooms and hallway are a lot smaller.

Later in the day I went to his house and he made dinner – a wonderful stir fry with green beans, onions and peppers and a spinach salad – delicious!  And watched hockey, of course.  New York Rangers are onto the East Division Finals…starting tomorrow!

I truly appreciate L’s help – it’s not the most fun way to spend a sunny weekend day but the results are going to be great.  My ceiling already seems taller and it’s yet to get primed and painted!!  Yay for Man Help!!

And yay for another Routine Shaken week!!

Routine…shaken

05 Saturday May 2012

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And I’m not saying like in a James Bond-ish “shaken, not stirred” way.  I mean shook hard down to the CORE.  Shifts that are still internally shifting.  I don’t know where, when or how all the pieces are going to land and that’s OK.  I’m just enjoying the process as they float, flutter and spin all around me. 

Here it is Saturday and I’m blogging.  Typically the past nearly 3 years this has been a wonderful Sunday ritual for me (and hopefully also for the handful of you who tune in here regularly or stumble in here accidentally…thanks!!)   I’m sitting here typing and part of me mentally is in an “OK it’s Sunday” mode.  But I’m smiling inside knowing I have one more delicious day of the weekend to savor.  To replenish myself.  Refill my tanks.

I feel like a different person than when I last posted in here.  And hmmm…I might make more of those green onion “pancakes” I posted a couple of weeks ago come to think of it.

Other than a very small handful of mental vacations, I’ve posted in here like clockwork on Sundays.  It’s a wonderful ritual and I look forward to it.  It’s “me” time that I get to share with others, but I don’t write here like anyone will read it if that makes sense.  Just self-expression, musings and lately a few food recipes too.  Last weekend was jam-packed and I knew I would not be home until late Sunday evening.  I figured oh, no biggy, I’ll be home around 8 or 8:30pm and just do a quick blog post and get to sleep.  Obviously that didn’t happen.

Last Sunday I came home feeling on the brink of a transformation.  A shift…a…damn, I don’t even know how to describe it.  So I guess I’ll just explain what I did and what happened…and what has happened since.

I shook up my routine and went to a weekend-long transformational workshop.  I can’t tell you how so out of my element something like that is for me.  Two days, 10am to 7pm.  Two precious weekend days.  I giggled when I learned the time the workshops started.  True confession:  I’m barely even AWAKE at 10am on Saturdays and Sundays.  So to be in these workshops I’d have to be awake, showered, dressed, awake (yes, repeated intentionally) for a 40 minute drive to the workshop location.  I also don’t consider myself very “workshoppy.”  BUT, my dear friend T recommended it so strongly, so I knew it would be great.  And boy was it ever. 

The workshop is for women and is about understanding (and celebrating) men and their behavior.  Yep, ’tis true!  Now, many people have asked me what I learned and what it was like.  Details, please!  Honestly that is not what I’m going to write about in here.  I did take lots of notes and have them safely stashed on the laptop here.  But I don’t want to go on and on about the workshop content.  I truly think it would be a disservice writing about it in here.  First of all, I’ve just been exposed to the material and am just learning and applying it myself.  Also, the workshop experience is led by a seasoned instructor and includes several steps we as women needed to commit to doing before we could even proceed further in the workshop.  If we weren’t willing to, we’d be able to leave early and get a full refund on our tuition.  (No one did, by the way).  But I will share a couple nuggets that are really at the core and foundation of the workshop content:

What if men are responding to women?  And…when we as women get upset, confused or frustrated when men do something we don’t understand or don’t like, we need to ask ourselves…what if there’s a good reason for it?  Seeing things I’ve seen all my life now in a different perspective (an illumination really) is phenomenal. 

The workshop was such an incredible experience that I was emotionally drained (and filled too actually at the same time) when I got home Sunday night.  I celebrated and just went home giddy and tingling…full of so many “aha” moments as things popped and clicked for me over the weekend.  I met amazing women too.  Lots of great bonding and I hope to see them again at future workshops.  But I came home so exhausted too.  And I knew the week ahead would be a busy one.  Lots going on at work.  Was I ready to face the week?  Ready or not, it happened!

Monday: After work I went over to my parents’ house for dinner.  This is definitely not something I normally do on a Monday night.  But, they were heading out of town the next day and my Mom wanted to borrow one of my books to read on their trip.  And she wanted to see some of my new jewelry collection as well.  After dinner, Dad went to go watch TV and Mom and I played with jewelry.  I’d quickly put together a few trays of what I thought she might like the night before.  Keep in mind I represent a wonderful line of sterling silver jewelry.  And my Mom prefers gold.  So, I had to really think through what I would bring to show her.  I picked out pieces that have a lot of warmer-toned semi precious stones, brass and pearl detail.  I also showed her our latest charms and brought my (sterling silver) charm bracelet loaded up with charms and showed her how the bracelet can attach onto a matching charm necklace with a couple of double-lobster clasps.  I thought this would just be a random thing she might think was interesting or amusing and I also wanted to ‘practice’ doing this for my future jewelry parties with friends. 

What happened next blew my mind.  My Mom got so excited, left the room and returned with a small pouch.  Inside was a sterling silver charm bracelet she had not worn in decades.  She explained that she is at an age where she is not comfortable drawing attention to her hands.  She prefers necklaces over bracelets or attention-grabbing rings.  Now thanks to the charm necklace and the double-lobster clasps she can wear her vintage charm bracelet around her neck in a modern way…in a way that makes her happy and comfortable!  And THIS was the giant underscore/exclamation point on one thing we learn in our training as jewelry reps:  don’t ever pre-judge anyone when sharing more about the jewelry or the business opportunity to represent the jewelry.  And yet I had (subconsciously) pre-judged my own Mom!  I assumed that since she prefers gold jewelry she would have zero interest in a sterling silver necklace.  Boy was I mistaken!!

Tuesday:  What a small world!  My youngest brother is now the sales account manager for the company where I am currently consulting!  Meaning, the place where I work is a client of his!  He flew up here to come to the campus to get his access cardkey and laptop set up.  How joyful it was to see him, introduce him to my manager and co-workers and have lunch.  We are quite close despite being nearly 8 years apart and such different lives.  He got married right out of college and he and his wife have 3 kids under age 9…and I am single with no kids.  Boy, I adore my nephews and niece!  So it was wonderful reconnecting with my brother and seeing him discover where I work – his new client – for the first time.  Glorious.

And I came home after work and the damn laptop here was at a crawl pace.  I rebooted it several times and my Start menu was all jacked up.  Arrrghh!!  I figured I probably had a computer virus or some other nightmare.  After about an hour on the phone with the nice people at Dell (yep, I’m a hard-core PC gal…no Macs here) I had a new registry cleaner/virus protection program installed.  And got rid of the old one.  And it’s like I have a new laptop.  Amazing improved performance!!

Wednesday:  After another very hectic day at work I went to my co-worker K’s house for dinner.  We used to share a large office – she’s since moved to a different group at our company and I miss working with her immensely.  Over the past few months working together we became friends and discovered we both have a passion for cooking!  She made a wonderful dinner in her new tagine and I brought the wine!  I got to meet her 3 kids (her husband was out of town on business) and share a seat at their dinner table.  K has girlfriends over for dinner all the time while her husband is away.  It’s really important for her to show her kids that while she loves being a wife and being their Mom, she’s also a friend to many.  After dinner the kids went to do homework and K and I talked.  And “all of a sudden” it was 10:30pm.  I cherish those conversations immensely.

When I got home I realized I had not gone to my mailbox in a few days.  Voila…there was my NEW PASSPORT!!  Oh, the possibilities.  If I had been there when the postman delivered it I would have hugged him.

Thursday:  Yet another hectic day at work (do we detect a pattern here folks?) and afterwards I headed into the city to meet L (my guy BFF) at a sports bar to watch hockey.  Years ago when he and I had decided that we were better off as friends than dating we had gone to this place a couple of times.  What a trip coming back to this place after 6-7 years.  The last time he and I were here it was before the no-smoking regulation went into effect in bars in the state of Washington here.  I remember the smoke hanging 4 feet from the ceiling it was so thick.  A much more pleasant experience this time around with no smoke.  And, the Stanley Cup playoffs go on…and I have no team to cheer for.  When Vancouver and Pittsburgh (my two favorite teams) each got eliminated in the first round, I was stunned.  And with no “plan C” on my radar to cheer for because I didn’t think I’d need one so soon.  And I still don’t have one.  I never get tired of watching the playoffs but it’s weird not having a favorite picked out.  And I’m totally bummed that the Canucks are out.  I’d hoped with my new passport to drive up with L and catch a game at a Vancouver sports bar.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think they’d be out so soon.  New passport…alas, too late for this Canucks season.

Friday:  Ah, fabulous Friday.  My whole work team is head down buried in WORK.  We are a great team and work wonderfully well together – one of the healthiest groups I’ve had the pleasure to consult with ever – but boy we are feeling the burn. We’re tired.  I see it in everyone’s eyes.  Voices.  Mannerisms.  We will get through everything we need to and support one another.

So after this wonderful week I was so ready to just go home and CRASH.  And sleep for days and not give a shit.  I left work probably two hours later than I usually do.  And I figured the commute would not take too long given it was after peak time. 

About halfway home (I commute on mostly two-lane surface streets between two suburbs) I turned a corner and traffic was at a dead stop at a major intersection.  With a long, long line of cars just waiting.  What was going on?  The stoplight was out!  UGH.  I painfully crawled through two major intersections with no functioning stoplight.  I thought I was slowly dying.  I just wanted to get HOME!

I just am confounded at how much LIFE got crammed into this past week.  It was like a slingshot after that weekend workshop…my perspectives are shifting…everything is shifting.  New things happened BAM BAM BAM every evening this week.  THIS is what happens when you shake up your routine.

So what’s next?  I don’t know but whatever it is is going to be extraordinary.  And why am I blogging on Saturday?  Well, L and I had planned on doing more popcorn ceiling scraping here in the townhouse tomorrow.  But it turns out he has a lot of work and a deadline so we have to reschedule.  What will I do tomorrow instead?  Probably sleep…well not all day.

And next Wednesday I’m going to see The Hunger Games.  After work.  By myself.  THIS is another Shake in my routine.  And lots more to follow.

Sleeping in Anticipation

15 Sunday Apr 2012

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I seem to write a lot about sleeping in here.  Part of that is because my usual blogging day here, Sunday, is synonymous with SLEEP.  Sleeping in.  Glorious, glorious sleep.  Without a sound sleep I’m a wreck…well, usually I can get through on caffeine and adrenaline and fake it the next day, but the next night – WHAMMO.  Gotta get those zzzzs.   And weekends are essential to recharge.

When I was in college, the first class of the day was not calculus, art history or philosophy but choir my freshman, sophomore and junior years.  At 8am, sharp.  And I could have been up late studying or partying until 3am the night prior yet bounced out of bed no problem on just a few hours sleep, ready to sing!  What an incredible way to start the day.  Truly energized me.  And where in hell did I find all that energy to get through college life on 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night (or less)?  Oh – duh – I was 19.

Spring seems to finally be springing around here.  I can open the townhouse windows for some fresh air and not worry about freezing to death or rain coming in, and even went to work a couple of times last week without a coat.  Ooops, we had rain later in the afternoon but it didn’t matter.  Here in the Seattle area we don’t let a little rain ruin our day.

I met D for a walk yesterday…back to Juanita Bay Park in Kirkland for another look at the protected wetlands along Lake Washington like we did a few weeks ago.  The view of the lake shore from the boardwalk is endlessly fascinating…every time we visit something is different.  Yesterday it was clear spring had sprung – birds were chirping loudly all around us in the trees and turtles covered the logs floating just under the lake surface.  I felt the sun radiating down and through me and was glad I had plopped on a light running cap and some sunscreen before heading out.  A couple of hard-core photographers were out with their impressive cameras. Huge, long lenses on tripods all wrapped in camouflage fabric.  That’s when you know it’s good…even the pros are out!  We chatted briefly with them and they pointed out a bald eagle high up in a tree.  Wow my distance vision is not so great, but as I focused more I could see a white head far, far up.

We walked on, determined to get a good workout.  Time for some hills!  And the West of Market neighborhood in Kirkland delivers.  Along with some steep, winding hills you get major real estate eye candy.  Beautiful homes with fantastic views of the lake.  Most all of the older summer home cabins have long been torn down and replaced with modern homes, but there are still a couple of adorable holdouts.  This is the neighborhood where you can get wonderfully lost, almost in a dizzy, dreamlike state, just blocks from the anchor of Market Street.  I love it.

I went over to L’s last night to watch hockey and hang out.  Sausage hot dogs with the works, chips and a couple of beers with my guy BFF.  Love it.  And yes, L is a huge Chicago Blackhawks fan and the Stanley Cup Playoffs are under way.  So I had to be silly and annoying and arrive at his house in a Vancouver Canucks t-shirt. ‘Cause those are my boys!! The Vancouver/Chicago rivalry is just a few years old but rumbling up into something fierce.  And it just won’t be the playoffs without a Vancouver/Chicago matchup again this year.  It just won’t.  Last night it was Chicago and Phoenix.  Chicago won in OT.  This is gonna be an intense series alright!

So…anticipation.  I woke up today with a smile on my face and wondered.  Spring is coming…and there’s so much to look forward to.  Hockey – the Canucks gotta win it tonight in LA or they are going to be painfully behind in a best of 7 series.  Losing those first two games at home?  Pathetic, boys…play your game already!!  And even more hockey – I’ve got a late playoff game tonight in my own league.  Double elimination and we’ve already lost one.  So let’s bring it, team!! 

I thought about my job and how in a few weeks I’ll know for sure if my consulting engagement will be extended out further into the summer and early fall.  Right now I’m mobilizing, for officially I’m wrapping up end of June by design.  Keeping my network up to date and soon it will be time to refresh my resume.  This group has been one of the strongest and healthiest teams I’ve ever worked shoulder to shoulder with.  And if my time with them is winding down, well, the bar is set high and this will be a tough act to follow.  But so many new doors will open!

Later this month I’m going to attend a 2 day workshop on understanding men and their behavior.  My friend T raved about it and I can’t wait!  Stay tuned for more posts on that. 

I’m going to embark on a 5-day cleanse of sorts, with a pack of meal-replacement shakes, snack bars and vitamin supplements I purchased last month at a seminar my new friend M lead.  I have an extra pack of the meal-replacement mix (yummy French vanilla and gluten-free) and I’ve tried a few times mixing up a glass for a breakfast or lunch replacement.  But something in me has been reluctant to do the 5-day cleanse.  I think about all of the food recipes I’ve posted in here…can I do a 3 liquid meals a day for 5 days straight?  I love the textures and flavors of food.  This cleanse means 5 days of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla beverages in steady rotation.  And yet it’s only FIVE DAYS.  What am I waiting for?  In early 2010 I kicked a nasty, 25-year Diet Coke addiction cold turkey with zero problems.  So I can do this too, right?

Ahhh…I know what the blocker is.  I’m worried about my energy level.  M did comment that energy levels can temporarily drop with some people as their body resets with the low glycemic beverages.  I’m worried I’ll be lethargic and not able to skate my best for my team.  So there it is…I’ll start the cleanse after my own team’s playoffs are done.

And maybe it’s time to get back to regular exercising again.  Skating once a week does not do it.  D and I want to get out on walks more often and maybe that’s the motivation I need – doing this with a friend – to get me back in shape and feeling more like myself when I look in the mirror.  My body does respond well to regular, brisk walking.  And I’m in dire need of some new spring and summer clothes and would love to feel more comfortable shopping like I did when I was slimmer a few years ago.  The times when you know your size and you know it’s going to fit and look well.  Someday I’ll be back there again. 

I finally got my damn passport in the mail for renewal.  So funny how the procedures change decade to decade.  Don’t laugh, but I got new pictures taken 7 or 8 months ago.  MONTHS.  And I’ve either been too busy or too frustrated trying to find the forms to fill out.  I have to laugh at myself because I’m pretty resourceful finding things online.  Somehow the passport renewal was a stumper.  BUT I cracked the code, filled out the forms, mailed in my check and old passport and we’re on our way.

Nothing like a fresh, new passport to open a whole world (no pun intended) of anticipation.

Urban Beach Alternative

25 Sunday Mar 2012

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Last week L invited me to join him out on the Long Beach Peninsula for a quick weekend getaway.  He had a client photo shoot lined up and the use of a very nice vacation rental.  But plans changed and he wasn’t feeling well, so that got scrapped.  No worries there…for some reason as the week unfolded I was not entirely on board with getting out of town this particular weekend.  Not sure why as I didn’t have any real solid plans save for catching up on sleep and getting outside for a walk if the weather held up.

We decided to postpone the almighty popcorn ceiling scraping project at my townhouse yet another weekend and just hang out over at his place.  I reminded him that hey, dude, it’s been over a month (6 weeks?) since we got started and we still haven’t finished the upstairs.  It was Super Bowl Sunday, in fact.  And I joked that Whitney Houston and Davy Jones were still alive when we got started, teasing in a warped sense of humor moment.  But it’s all good.  I know we’ll eventually get it done.  I think we agreed on June as a deadline, but given our pace that will likely just to get all of the upstairs scraped, sanded, primed and painted.  Downstairs is going to be a whole other hairy beast.  I’m getting tired just thinking and typing about that road ahead.

So the plan was to chill out and watch hockey (when it’s Saturday that means Hockey Night in Canada – can’t beat that for a TV doubleheader).  Tacos, scratch margaritas and hockey.  Sign me up.  I don’t know L’s secret taco recipe, but I’ll share my margarita recipe here at the end of this post.

Holy damn, I slept in until 11:00am Saturday.  Even me, a notsomuch morning person, felt a little guilty as if I was wasting the day away.  But I know myself well…I needed that sleep.  I had thought I would have the energy to schlep into the gym – a place I haven’t visited in, gulp, over a year – for a much-needed workout, but somehow that didn’t happen.  Laziness.

I trotted off to L’s place that afternoon with a bag full of tequila, triple sec, limes, a cocktail shaker, a shot glass and a couple of margarita glasses carefully wrapped in towels.  He had an amazingly large bowl of scratch guacamole already made – enough for 20 people – but we sure chowed it down – with chips and salsa.  Ole!  Now when I say “trotted” I mean probably a 40-45 minute drive.  L lives in the Sunset Hill area of Ballard in Seattle, a quiet neighborhood in the city which is really busting out and growing, at least in its core.  And I thanked myself for filling up my car prior to that drive, for the main route to his house through Ballard is now all torn up with major street construction.  One lane roads with flaggers everywhere.  Brutal, especially for all the businesses along this street I’m sure, despite the myriad of “we’re open during construction” signs pleading down the street.  I remember crawling along in my car and seeing a reader board on one of the cafes:  “Free monster truck show with every meal.”  I wondered “HUH?” for a few seconds before I finally got it.  Aha – at least they’ve got a sense of humor about all of this.

L and I chugged down a few margaritas, devoured chips and guac and later some tacos.  After a beer nightcap and watching a GREAT Vancouver Canucks OT victory over Colorado, we were both pretty tired.  And it was barely 10pm!  L insisted I stay over and I was grateful for that.  I had a little buzz going on, so driving home that night was totally out of the question.

Now, for those of you tuning in fairly recently, L is my guy BFF.  Everything is totally platonic so crashing at his place was not a loaded big deal.  He let me use his bed while he crashed in the next room in his new guest bed.  I couldn’t believe I was going to bed so early, especially on a Saturday, but I guess I really needed the sleep.  It always takes me awhile to get to sleep even when I’m at home – I usually like to/need to read something light like a magazine no matter how late it is or how tired I am.  And I typically sleep in my own bed, so this was a change having immediate pitch black in a strange, new bed with no reading material.  And the silence.  I giggled to myself at the irony…the utter silence at L’s house in the city (he lives near the end of a dead end street) compared to the gentle roar of street noise I am now used to hearing around the clock – like nice white noise – at my suburban townhouse.

By around 8:30am or so he and I were both up, dressed and ready to take his friend M’s dog for a walk.  What a glorious Sunday morning!  We made the short drive to Golden Gardens Park, one of the few waterfront parks in Seattle with a sandy beach.  Oops, I was in high-heeled boots – and my sweater and jeans from the night before – and not in any condition to walk in the sand, so we stayed on the asphalt paths. 

How’s that picture at the start of this post for a morning welcome?  A cool, brisk morning and the sun beaming down on the Olympic Mountains, looking west.  We passed countless walkers, joggers, dogs…even saw a woman in the sand doing a slew of yoga poses.  So while I wasn’t wearing the best shoes for a brisk walk, it felt good to get one in.  And the salty air and breeze is the best soul therapy I’ve ever experienced.

Then it was off to brunch at The Blue Glass, one of L’s favorite spots.  I get giddy trying new places to eat so I could not wait to try it…and could not believe I was hungry after last night’s taco feast. 

Behold, their breakfast burger…sausage, egg and absolutely nothing McDonalds-ish assembly line about it.  A few dashes of hot sauce and some fries with their house-made ketchup topped off with a few cups of coffee and I felt totally refreshed.

We even made a quick stop to the nearby Goodwill store.  L has this uncanny knack for finding great things there at a steal of a price.  At the risk of sounding, well, how I don’t wish to sound, it’s not my first choice for places to shop, but admittedly if you take some time and dig around you CAN find some really great deals.  Voila…I found two pairs of pretty much brand new Adidas sweatpants…for $15 total!  Perfect for the rink or just lounging around. 

So, for the second weekend in a row, the Ballard neighborhood delivers.  It’s another world compared to my suburban haunts, and that’s exactly how I like it.  A touch of salt air, a slower pace with a slice of city vibe injected…and continuing to discover it with a great friend – this is what I adore. 

Oh, and almost forgot – here’s the margarita recipe!  Bring a couple cans of limeade to make more and additional limes for garnish.

  • 3/4 can limeade, thawed in the fridge
  • 4 shots Tequila
  • 2 shots Triple Sec
  • Juice of one lime
  • Salt
  • Beer (optional…couple swigs to cut the ‘tart’ to taste)
  • Crushed ice

Mix all ingredients except for the salt and crushed ice in a cocktail shaker.  Salt the rim of each glass and pour the mixture over the crushed ice. Garnish with a lime wedge.  Serve to good friends and have fun.  CHEERS!

The Ugly Crescendo

27 Monday Feb 2012

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I felt like something ugly and draining snuck up and tried swallowing me whole this week.   And by the time I realized it was happening it was too late.  Call me One Big Trainwreck.  Stuck in quicksand.

This past week was midwinter break for a lot of families.  And while the company I work for does not observe the President’s Day holiday, many people take that day off anyways because the kids are off from school.

Burdened, alone and sometimes overwhelmed.  Those were some of the things I felt last week trying to get through work and covering for others.  I am always honored when my manager or another co-worker asks if I (a consultant who is not a permanent part of the team) wouldn’t mind being their backup contact while they are away, should others in the office need something urgent.  It feels good to be needed.  But I don’t like feeling alone.  I like having people around me, which is part of the reason I don’t like working from home.  I enjoy the constant interaction.  So when hardly anyone is around in the office it’s eerie.  And while I can handle just about anything that comes my way and speak on others’ behalfs while they’re out (mostly), it is draining.  I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.  And it gets really heavy sometimes. 

Perhaps I am even a teensy bit envious of those who get paid vacation time.  As a consultant I am only paid for hours I work, and typically my work engagements are a year or less in length.  So it is not always a good idea to schedule a leisurely vacation.  It might be during a crucial point in a project – a major milestone.  And I may still be processing the last residue of pain from my unemployed stretch a couple of years ago.  Meaning, don’t bitch about work.  Just DON’T.  And WORK, fivenineteen, WORK.  It is a privilege to work, not a right.

Jealousy be damned.  I am not a jealous type, so when it does leak into my being like it admittedly did thinking of everyone enjoying their vacations, it catches me off guard.  Sneaky bitch.

So while I am the queen of to-do lists, the big stuff didn’t get done this past week like I had hoped.   I mistakenly assumed that I would have a lot of catch up time on my hands in the office to tackle some more high-level, strategic work that’s needed attention.  But that was not the case at all.  Lots of Littles popped up.  Unexpected situations that needed attention.  Nothing too difficult to fix, but still time consuming.  And sometimes exhausting.

I think by Wednesday I was feeling a little ‘off.’  Hard to describe but I felt weighed down physically and mentally.  A little jittery, even without coffee.

L texted me sometime Tuesday or Wednesday asking if he could crash at my house Thursday night.  He has client meetings near my house sometimes and lives a ways from here and has done this on a couple of other occasions, on nights we’re not doing any of that popcorn ceiling scraping.  One time it was because there was a gas leak in the house he rents and he needed to stay elsewhere while the leak was being contained.

L is a wonderful friend for sure.  But it’s a very different dynamic having a guy over at my house just hanging out who truly is a great friend and nothing more.  I’m learning this very quickly. He just crashes on my couch and either leaves early in the morning to beat traffic or stays to get some work done at my house and leaves a little later and locks up.  On Thursday, the night he wanted to come crash at my place, I had dinner plans with a girlfriend and told him I won’t be home until late but would leave a house key hidden for him. 

Little did I know how the world would all come crashing down around me that Thursday.  Held off briefly by some incredible sushi and a couple glasses of wine with my dear friend T at Izumi.  Hands down the best sushi in the Seattle suburbs.  Mouth watering and spectacular, with a very charming sushi chef at the sushi bar who is a great conversationalist.  I could subsist on sushi there every day, even though it would be a little hard on my wallet. 

My mind started to wander during dinner and I felt preoccupied and restless.  Here I was having a fun night out with a wonderful friend and I was having some sort of anxiety thingy wash over me.  I knew when I got home that L and his friend’s dog would be there.  And I felt like that was going to be an invasion of my space that night, even though I’d told him a day or two prior it would be OK.  It was starting to feel like it wasn’t going to be.  And why was I feeling this way?  What’s the big deal?  IS it a big deal or is it kind of weird when a male friend wants to just randomly crash at your place occasionally?  I don’t know about you but I’ve never had a platonic friendship with a (straight) guy that went to that level.  And come to think of it neither with a gay guy friend either.  Why was I letting this upset me so much?  And oh yeah, once I got home I needed to start filling out some paperwork that an escrow agent sent for a neighbor who is selling his townhouse.  Stuff like that you cannot delay, and we’re a small, self-run HOA…and….and…And ahhhh, there I went.  Questioning my feelings and getting overwhelmed all at once.  Let the downward spiral begin.

Have you ever been so tired that you couldn’t relax and fall asleep?  I got home and L was chilling out watching TV with the dog.  My head hurt.  So much for great sushi, two glasses of wine and great friendship.  It all went *poof* once I got home.  For I knew I needed to get upstairs, fire up this somewhat creaky of a laptop (6 years old and showing its age; that’s another post for another time) and crack open the documentation the escrow agent needed filled out.

Of all times for my laptop here to act up.  I had a devil of a time getting applications to stay open without hanging, and trying to edit the .pdf that they sent us.  Why realtors and escrow agents use Acrobat Reader for their documentation – that needs editing – instead of something like Microsoft Word is beyond me.  Pain in the ASS.

I felt bad for neglecting L and went downstairs periodically to see how he was doing.  My eyebrows were feeling tightly knitted together and my whole body felt clenched up and tense.  He seemed fine, but that didn’t help me relax any further.  Just seemed like a lost cause.

By 11pm I was a wreck.  I’d done all I could on the documentation, sent it to our HOA treasurer for him to finish and decided to crawl into bed.  Hugged L goodnight and went upstairs to sleep. 

What happened next was surreal.  Keep in mind I am typically a very sound sleeper, so when I get clonked with a dose of insomnia, I freak out.  Which only makes it worse I’m sure.  I thought I had been sleeping but turns out it was just some tossing and turning and dozing.  Around 1:30 am I realized what it was.  L had gone to sleep with his iPad on with ESPN news feeds or something.  And the sound actually carried very well upstairs to my bedroom.  I thought I was losing my mind as I crawled out of bed and drifted downstairs.  L was blissfully asleep, snoring steadily.  After a few attempts to wake him he woke up, apologized and turned off the iPad.  Ahhh, finally.  I think I tried going back to sleep again but then realized I was too wound up despite being so tired.  I went downstairs yet again to grab a glass of water. 

And I sat on my living room floor and just sobbed.  And sobbed.  “I’m such a fucking MESS,” I blurted out.  What is WRONG with me?  Poor L was half asleep and groggy.  He mumbled “I’m sorry, ” and went back to sleep.

I went upstairs.  NOW what do I do?  Do I read a book?  Take a bubble bath?  I don’t have sleeping pills in my house because I don’t need them.  And I am a pharmaceutical whimp.  Even “non drowsy” allergy medicine gives me a super bad buzz.

I probably went to sleep – sort of – around 5am.  I probably cried a bit too because when I had to get up for work my eyes were all puffy.  Yeah, going to work with 2-3 hours sleep at the most.  Ugh. That was when I actually felt glad most of my co-workers were out of the office.

Somehow I made it through the day – hats off to coffee and adrenaline.  But by mid afternoon my vision was blurred and I knew I needed to finish up a few reports and head home.  To crash. Hard.

I felt ANGRY most of the weekend.  Angry for letting myself get all wound up and freaked out over things that really aren’t a big deal.  Questioning my emotions.  A (thankfully) rare night of insomnia that took 2 days to recover from.  And thinking ahead of how much more work there is to do with the townhouse improvements.  Tons more popcorn ceiling scraping upstairs and down, then sanding/priming, and repainting a few other bedroom walls.  How long is my townhouse going to be in a state of semi-wreck meanwhile?  And why the hell am I having a mini breakdown over things that aren’t really a big deal?  What is WRONG?  Why can’t I be one of those easy-breezy, laid back types who don’t let anything bother them? 

Well, it turns out the Universe always brings us what we need.  What I needed to bust out of this funk was a heavy dose of HOCKEY.  And that came served up hot and fresh on Sunday. 

I have not played two games in one day in years but this was exactly what I needed apparently.  I skated mid afternoon in a charity game benefitting the Seattle Ronald McDonald House.  The annual Hockey Challenge, in its 14th year has raised over $4 million dollars for the local house here and for this we could not be prouder.  It is a privilege and honor to skate in support of the House and I relished every moment today.

Later that night it was my regular league game.  Yeah, both games were losses tonight but only by what the scoreboards said.  It felt amazing to get out there and skate.  For when I’m on the ice, nothing else matters.  I have no mental room to multi-task and worry about anything else than what I am doing on the ice at that particular moment.  And you know what?

THAT is relaxing.  I should sleep very well.