Tag Archives: transformation

Light

29 Monday Dec 2014

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Can’t think of a simpler yet more profound title to this last blog post of 2014.  WOW what a year it’s been!  Transforming is the best way to describe it.  Everything except where I live and the car I drive has pretty much changed in my life…and all for the better.  New job.  New, improved body (at last count I’m down nearly 54 lbs – 24 kg – since July 2013).  A healthier outlook on life both how I take care of myself mentally and how I fuel my body with nutritious food.  Incredible new relationships…lots of friendships and a wonderful romantic one too.  I simply couldn’t be happier right now and am ready to embrace 2015 full on!

So how fitting is it to wrap up the year with a post about LIGHT.  What we crave this time of year so hungrily…yeah, we’re past the Winter Solstice and it’s been gloriously sunny (and cold!) the last few days.  Slowly we’re pulling away from that dreaded “get up and go to work in the dark / go home in the dark” rhythm that can drive us crazy.

I recently got intrigued with light therapy.  I’m not officially SAD diagnosed, but I do notice the blahs and blues sometimes when the weather is crappy and it’s rainy and dark like it is so often in the Seattle area this time of year. It’s like living in a soggy black and white TV!  So when it’s nice out and not raining torrentially it’s time to bundle up and get out there (where are my rubber boots??).  No excuses.

And I’m getting up for work about an hour and a half earlier than I used to.  Keep in mind, getting up later was a well-ingrained habit of nearly a dozen years.  So snapping into a 5:45am wake up time – a time probably more normal than not for many of us out there – has been a challenge for me to get used to.  Combine that with shorter, darker days and it’s been, well, challenging.  And for those of you who follow along in here, you know I’m not a morning person by nature.  I’m just not wired that way.  Shhh don’t tell my new co-workers.  Faking it (and a little extra coffee in the a.m.) works wonders.

So, I recently picked up a couple of light therapy devices thanks to the nice people at Amazon.com.  Take a look!

Philips blueThis is a blue light sunshine simulator from Philips (check out the link in the paragraph above).  This beauty mimics the sunshine we crave on those bright, sunny, cloudless days.  What I like about it is you can adjust how long the light sessions last as well as how bright the light is.  You don’t (and shouldn’t) look directly into it.  Rather, I just keep it at an angle (like the pic; there’s a kickstand included) and about 18 – 20″ away from me on my bathroom countertop while I dry my hair, get dressed and put on my makeup.  My session runs 45 minutes and it shuts itself off automatically (but you can set it to run between 1 and 60 minutes as you need).  It also comes with a protective cover, and it’s small enough for travel.

Philips alarmNext up is the Philips wake up alarm with sunrise simulation.  It kind of looks like a headlight yanked out of a car, but it has a nice flat surface so it won’t roll around.  I ditched my c. 2003 clock radio/CD player and started using this instead.  It’s fantastic!  The light simulates an actual sunrise, starting a deep, rich orange and slowly shifting to yellows and whites.  And you can add a soothing wake up sound too (or just wake up to the sunrise).  It’s fully customizable which is wonderful.  You can choose how long the sunrise takes and how loud the music plays (or find the FM radio station you love).  Learning the controls is a little tricky at first, but once you do it a few times it’s pretty straight forward.  Want to snooze?  Just tap anywhere on the light surface and 9 more minutes is yours.

I also like how a lot of the menu buttons don’t light up until you get your fingers near them.  Anyone else out there get annoyed with those glaring numbers and letters when you’re trying to sleep?  And amazingly, the orange clock readout in the pic above is proven to be the least glaring in the dark…and the intensity will adjust depending on how much natural light is around it.  So when you’re trying to sleep, the clock readout is a nice, soft peachy glow.

Sweet dreams…glorious mornings…and Happy New Year, everyone!

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Anything, Anytime…Really?

03 Sunday Feb 2013

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Panic. Terror. Anxiety.  When I got my latest ‘homework’ during my second Intuitive Eating phone coaching session on Thursday, I freaked out.  It was like drawing a mental blank…my mind couldn’t compute what I was hearing.  I could envision nothing but a black, dark void.

My homework?  For one week, eat anything you want, whether you are hungry or not.  The only caveat is to be 100% PRESENT and MINDFUL to what you are eating.  And notice how you feel!  Gah!!

But I promised to commit myself 150% to this process.  To be ready to transform myself and bust free of dieting hell and the yo-yo weight gains and losses I’ve sustained over the past nearly 20 years (eek, that’s nearly half my life!).  I’ve conditioned myself to only eat carbs during dinner (a la the Carbohydrate Addicts diet) which I’ve attempted twice, each time gaining back the weight I lost and then some.  Yep, that ‘carbs only at dinner’ mindset is tattooed in my brain, and I still beat myself up mentally when I stray. I’m learning that I could actually be unconsciously dieting without even thinking about it!  Oh dear, what a smothering, vicious cycle this is!

So.  With this week-long experiment the idea is to quiet my mind (yeah, good luck with that).  Quiet my mind and instead listen to what my body says it needs.

To some this might sound like HOT DAMN, HOO DOGGY…woohooo!!  For me it was terrifying.  And still is – I’m just a few days into it.  What am I afraid of?  Honestly, I’m afraid of gaining even more weight.  I’m afraid of bingeing and feeling like I’ve eaten too much and “should” slow down or stop.  I’m afraid my body will only crave unhealthy foods and I’ll end up malnourished.

But, I dove right in.  They say to do one thing a day that scares you, right?  This is definitely it!  So below is a peek of my food journal.  I started this experiment February 1.  Ahh, there’s something nice about a new calendar page and a new start.  The timing was fantastic.

February 1:  Breakfast was a morning food “Gulp,” (not what I would call breakfast):  a chunk of cheddar cheese.  I feel rushed and stressed and not necessarily hungry as I’m trying to get out the door and in the car to drive to work.  I force the cheese down; it’s at an earlier time of morning I’m not usually eating, but I force it down because I’m worried I’ll feel hungrier later in the mid morning which is my prime-time for more difficult tasks at work and meetings.

Mid morning snack:  Dried squares of seaweed, flavored with salt and sesame oil…YUM.  I feel zing-y inside and nourished, energized.  Light.

Lunch:  I head over to the large eating area on our company campus.  They have an incredible variety of food choices, including a hot food bar which I really enjoy.  I pick up 1 large meatball with seasonings.  It looks hearty but the meat is really pink and undercooked inside so I stop after a bite.  Disappointed.  I also got a couple of squares of portabella mushroom ravioli.  I feel a little guilty eating carbs and cream sauce during lunchtime but it’s so rich tasting.  Eating slowly to savor the taste.  And a couple scoops of barley risotto.  I love the crunch and nutty texture which is different from the ravioli.  I feel full and don’t finish the second spoonful.

Afternoon snack:  Sea salt and vinegar potato chips.  I took a few moments to inhale the aroma in the bag – the vinegar scent makes me feel energized.  I’m not very hungry but I eat a few anyway.  Next a handful of raw, unsalted almonds.  I was starting to feel low on energy but I felt full still.  The afternoon energy drop I typically experience between 4 and 5pm was not as severe as it’s been when I’ve eaten low/no carb lunches.

Evening of 2/01:  I’m not really feeling super famished – this is great!  I go to the grocery store and don’t feel freaked out (I hate the feeling of being at the grocery store when you’re hungry).  I purchase a couple of containers of Greek yogurt, on-the-vine tomatoes, more of those dried seaweed snacks with sesame oil flavor, pesto, gum, sour cream, chips, organic mac & cheese, sushi for tonight and some beer.  Around 9pm I eat the sushi…it’s brown rice style with sashimi and I mix the wasabi with some spicy wasabi-infused soy sauce in my fridge.  YUM.  I feel elated and full of energy…love the spicy flavors and the seafood!  The rice makes me feel satisfied and not bloated.

Saturday February 2:  I don’t eat anything until 11am.  I was hosting our annual HOA meeting at my townhouse and was feeling excited to see everyone and a little anxious too.

After the meeting I had a piece of cheddar cheese and three huge glasses of V8 juice.  I feel alive and happy, like the juice is nourishing me!  And few small slices of spicy pepperoni.  My stomach feels a little irritated and my esophagus burns a little, but I like it.  Then around 1pm I had a sudden hunger urge.  I found a small serving of leftover pasta and vodka cream sauce in a Tupperware in the fridge. About 2-3 bites. I ate it cold.  Just what I needed!  I feel happy.

I later went to the PCC near my house.  I’m always endlessly fascinated with the variety of foods they carry!  I was in search of primrose oil capsules (they’re supposed to help stabilize PMS cravings and mitigate breast tenderness, among other things), chocolate mousse, organic butter on sale, cilantro lime spread and some live raw bars.  Then I went to my favorite spa for a long-overdue waxing appointment.  Time to get the eyebrows shaped and tinted too…I’m back in job hunting mode bigtime and need to get cleaned up to look my best for interviews!   I got there early and went to the Starbucks across the street to get a nonfat latte.  The lemon pound cake inside the pastry case literally jumped out at me – I need a piece!  I ate about half of it in very small bites.  It made me feel alive and happy.

Dinner:  I am hungry and want mac & cheese.  It’s 5:30pm and I instinctively think OMG no, it’s too early to start dinner.  I start a load of laundry instead.  Then it’s 6:00 and I say fuck it, I’m hungry, let’s start the water boiling.  I made a full box of mac & cheese and ate about 1/3 of it with some shredded mozzarella cheese on top (cheese on top of cheese LOL). I feel happy and full!  The rest goes in the Tupperware for another time.  I had some chips with that cilantro lime spread as a dip later in the evening.  And a couple spoonfuls of the chocolate mousse.  Delighted!

Sunday February 3:  It felt wonderful sleeping in a little later (11am).  I was feeling thirsty so I grabbed a big glass of water and took my typical round of supplements (which now includes the evening primrose oil).  Was I feeling hungry?  Yes, a little bit…so I grabbed some pomegranate-flavored Greek yogurt and had a big glass of V8 juice.  I feel full and a little bloated after finishing the glass of juice – maybe I drank it too quickly.  I love the flavor though!

I came back from running errands and am suddenly hungry again!  So I have a few small bites of the leftover mac & cheese from last night.  I feel guilty about doing that!   And a glass of water.  About an hour later I’m not feeling particularly hungry but I really want one of the raw bars I purchased yesterday.  It’s a chocolate/coconut flavor and it’s delicious!  Now I’m full again.

So, as you can see this is still a very new process for me. Food and my weight are very emotional to me, but it’s hard for me to put those emotions into words, whether on the phone with my coach or in writing here.  So I’ll keep working on it and not beating myself up if I’m not ‘doing it right’ (compared to WHAT, right??)

I vow to reject the diet mentality…saying goodbye and GOOD RIDDANCE to 15+ years of trying/failing at Carbohydrate Addicts, by losing and re-gaining 30-35 lbs each time.  I need to envision shedding the dieting mentality like when an animal molts.  They grow, transform and gleefully walk away from their old skin.  It doesn’t fit and doesn’t suit me any longer!

Bedroom Grinning

10 Sunday Jun 2012

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I was thinking about calling this post “Grinning in the Bedroom.”  But that might be a little misleading.  Although I AM grinning in this bedroom too but not for the reasons you might think. 

Now, why does a picture like this make me smile?  Let me count the ways!  It’s PROGRESS.  It’s ACTION.  It’s IMPROVEMENT…and it’s a sign of what’s to come.

A few months ago L and I started this messiest of messy home improvement projects call Scraping Off a Very Heavily Painted-Over Popcorn Ceiling.  It was Super Bowl Sunday actually when we kicked off – no pun intended.  I really wanted to do the fun stuff first like repaint a few walls I was getting sick of here in the townhouse and replace the old doors, but L wisely said no, we need to scrape, sand and repaint the ceilings first.  Man, he was right. 

Back in early February, June seemed a long ways off.  We figured sure, we’ll be done with the upstairs by June.  Now, blink the eyes and it’s MID JUNE.  We have made progress though not as much as I’d hoped.  We’ve learned so much about this process…the guinea pig room was my master bedroom and open dual-sink vanity area.  The largest of the 3 bedrooms upstairs and THE most personal, sacred place for me.  So it was painful cutting our teeth in there, it took far longer than we thought and it’s not yet finished – the ceiling is scraped and sanded but not yet primed and repainted.  Living with displaced clutter has grinded (ground?) my nerves but I’m a lot more used to it now.

The 3rd bedroom has been a dormant mess for, sadly, nearly 10 years.  It was going to be a guest bedroom but ended up being a dumping place for things I didn’t know what to do with…and was too lazy to tote down to the garage (which has yet to have some decent shelving added…Le Sigh that’s another thing on the list).  This weekend it was time to clean it out and scrape the ceiling.

L came over Friday evening.  I made quinoa chowder (find the recipe in my post here…I diced up a chicken breast, sautéed it and added it to the soup to make it a little heartier) and we just relaxed and watched TV.  It felt good having him over.  I’m feeling in a much better place these days.  Work is super busy, but I’m relieved my assignment will be extended into the fall.  I’ve got some fun summer plans on tap, I feel happy that L and I are great friends and he wants us to stay friends forever.  The home improvement work is messy and moving slowly but I trust that he will keep helping me until we finish.  I know it’s going to look great when we’re done.  By 10pm we were both tired and crashed.  He took over the living room couch, M’s dog by his side on the floor and I headed upstairs. 

The next morning I fueled us up with a big breakfast…bacon, scrambled eggs with Tabasco and toasted bagels with cream cheese.  And lots of coffee of course.  We finished the last part of the 3rd bedroom clutter…moving the books off the tall bookshelf and lying the bookcase on its side against the wall, ready to wrap in protective drop cloths.  Ideally we would have moved it completely out of the room but there was nowhere convenient to put it.  My upstairs hallway is pretty narrow, and the other room up here – my home office – now has boxes and stacks of books added to the rest of the clutter already in there.  It’s starting to look like it’s auditioning for an episode of Hoarders.  Scary.  Breathe, breathe…it’s temporary.  This is how I continually remind myself it’s going to get finished and all of this mess will be back in order.  I DO NOT live like this. And I giggled when I realized how pristine the carpet in the 3rd bedroom is.  It’s hardly been walked on in years.  The only routine action it gets is when my house cleaners vacuum what they can every month.

Now if you are considering attempting a ceiling scraping project like this, remember that you cannot have too many plastic drop cloths.  It’s essential to not only cover the floor with them, but also to tape drop cloths along the top edges of the walls to catch the ceiling debris as it comes down.  It’s a pain in the ass taping drop cloths along the top edges of the walls but if you do you will avoid a lot of mess with dust clinging to the walls as it comes down.  You can see a strip of leftover painter’s tape in the picture actually.

Compared to the large master bedroom and vanity area, this room was a breeze.  It’s a lot smaller – it’s too small to hold a queen-sized bed if you would also want two decent night stands to give you an idea of the size.  We started at the section where the window is, so we could take down that wall drop cloth first to get some ventilation.  For those of you just tuning in, L and I are doing the old “spray and scrape” method of taking down the popcorn ceiling.  I use a garden sprayer to spray small patches of the ceiling, let it sit for a few minutes, and L scrapes away.  We found a cool-looking tool designed for this purpose that attaches onto an extension pole awhile back.  Sadly, it’s too flimsy to do the job.  My ceilings are heavily painted over with thick, flat, matte white paint so a couple of good putty knives are what L uses while standing on a step stool.  One knife is 6″ wide and the other 3″ wide.  It’s tempting to get something even wider to cover more surface area more quickly, however the risk is if the ceiling is not perfectly flat you run the risk of gouging it with the tool edges.  So far no problems there.

We’re also learning about the fine line between getting the ceiling damp enough so the scraping is relatively easy, versus getting the ceiling too wet and risking mold later.  Another reason why good room ventilation is essential.  Thankfully the weather has been somewhat decent this weekend.  I’ll be keeping the window ajar for the next few days.  I can already see how a lot of the wetter patches have dried.

Now that the ceiling is scraped we’ll need to sand it down like we did in the master bedroom, but I’m already thrilled with how it looks.  This room is going to transform…I’m not 100% sure how yet but it will.  See that small patch of paint?  That’s a Benjamin Moore paint in Sioux Falls.  It’s a glorious bluish green and I can’t WAIT to paint!  I love color and I can’t wait to get rid of that horrible, flat white paint.  The ceiling will be painted off white, however, not colored.  

L thinks I should make that 3rd bedroom my home office and make the (larger) bedroom where I’m sitting here – my current home office – as the guest bedroom.  Interesting idea!  I could definitely put a queen-sized bed in this home office which would be a lot more comfortable for guests.   I know L likes smaller, cozier spaces to work in, while I thrive in more open spaces.  This could be a fun way to change things up.  Technologically it could be a problem now that I think of it…that 3rd bedroom does not have any phone jacks or cable hookup.  Gotta love older (32 year old) homes that are not pre-wired for technology like homes are today.  Hmmm.

So while I tend to get frustrated when I see the long road ahead in getting this townhouse updated and the shell game of having to move crap between rooms to clear them out for the ceiling work, I remember how great a place it is.  The floor plan is kickass.  I remember when I was ready to start looking to buy a place and made a list of my priorities for my realtor.  She found everything I was looking for at the top of my list…3 bedrooms and townhouse style!   And a huge 2-car garage!  They just don’t make them like this anymore.   Sometimes I wish I’d purchased a newer home that didn’t need so much updating.  Carpet, countertops, window treatments, flooring, appliances…but I know that newer places have problems too.  Guess it’s all part of the journey of homeownership.

For now, I grin…progress and wonderful Man Help thanks to my guy BFF!!

Routine…shaken

05 Saturday May 2012

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And I’m not saying like in a James Bond-ish “shaken, not stirred” way.  I mean shook hard down to the CORE.  Shifts that are still internally shifting.  I don’t know where, when or how all the pieces are going to land and that’s OK.  I’m just enjoying the process as they float, flutter and spin all around me. 

Here it is Saturday and I’m blogging.  Typically the past nearly 3 years this has been a wonderful Sunday ritual for me (and hopefully also for the handful of you who tune in here regularly or stumble in here accidentally…thanks!!)   I’m sitting here typing and part of me mentally is in an “OK it’s Sunday” mode.  But I’m smiling inside knowing I have one more delicious day of the weekend to savor.  To replenish myself.  Refill my tanks.

I feel like a different person than when I last posted in here.  And hmmm…I might make more of those green onion “pancakes” I posted a couple of weeks ago come to think of it.

Other than a very small handful of mental vacations, I’ve posted in here like clockwork on Sundays.  It’s a wonderful ritual and I look forward to it.  It’s “me” time that I get to share with others, but I don’t write here like anyone will read it if that makes sense.  Just self-expression, musings and lately a few food recipes too.  Last weekend was jam-packed and I knew I would not be home until late Sunday evening.  I figured oh, no biggy, I’ll be home around 8 or 8:30pm and just do a quick blog post and get to sleep.  Obviously that didn’t happen.

Last Sunday I came home feeling on the brink of a transformation.  A shift…a…damn, I don’t even know how to describe it.  So I guess I’ll just explain what I did and what happened…and what has happened since.

I shook up my routine and went to a weekend-long transformational workshop.  I can’t tell you how so out of my element something like that is for me.  Two days, 10am to 7pm.  Two precious weekend days.  I giggled when I learned the time the workshops started.  True confession:  I’m barely even AWAKE at 10am on Saturdays and Sundays.  So to be in these workshops I’d have to be awake, showered, dressed, awake (yes, repeated intentionally) for a 40 minute drive to the workshop location.  I also don’t consider myself very “workshoppy.”  BUT, my dear friend T recommended it so strongly, so I knew it would be great.  And boy was it ever. 

The workshop is for women and is about understanding (and celebrating) men and their behavior.  Yep, ’tis true!  Now, many people have asked me what I learned and what it was like.  Details, please!  Honestly that is not what I’m going to write about in here.  I did take lots of notes and have them safely stashed on the laptop here.  But I don’t want to go on and on about the workshop content.  I truly think it would be a disservice writing about it in here.  First of all, I’ve just been exposed to the material and am just learning and applying it myself.  Also, the workshop experience is led by a seasoned instructor and includes several steps we as women needed to commit to doing before we could even proceed further in the workshop.  If we weren’t willing to, we’d be able to leave early and get a full refund on our tuition.  (No one did, by the way).  But I will share a couple nuggets that are really at the core and foundation of the workshop content:

What if men are responding to women?  And…when we as women get upset, confused or frustrated when men do something we don’t understand or don’t like, we need to ask ourselves…what if there’s a good reason for it?  Seeing things I’ve seen all my life now in a different perspective (an illumination really) is phenomenal. 

The workshop was such an incredible experience that I was emotionally drained (and filled too actually at the same time) when I got home Sunday night.  I celebrated and just went home giddy and tingling…full of so many “aha” moments as things popped and clicked for me over the weekend.  I met amazing women too.  Lots of great bonding and I hope to see them again at future workshops.  But I came home so exhausted too.  And I knew the week ahead would be a busy one.  Lots going on at work.  Was I ready to face the week?  Ready or not, it happened!

Monday: After work I went over to my parents’ house for dinner.  This is definitely not something I normally do on a Monday night.  But, they were heading out of town the next day and my Mom wanted to borrow one of my books to read on their trip.  And she wanted to see some of my new jewelry collection as well.  After dinner, Dad went to go watch TV and Mom and I played with jewelry.  I’d quickly put together a few trays of what I thought she might like the night before.  Keep in mind I represent a wonderful line of sterling silver jewelry.  And my Mom prefers gold.  So, I had to really think through what I would bring to show her.  I picked out pieces that have a lot of warmer-toned semi precious stones, brass and pearl detail.  I also showed her our latest charms and brought my (sterling silver) charm bracelet loaded up with charms and showed her how the bracelet can attach onto a matching charm necklace with a couple of double-lobster clasps.  I thought this would just be a random thing she might think was interesting or amusing and I also wanted to ‘practice’ doing this for my future jewelry parties with friends. 

What happened next blew my mind.  My Mom got so excited, left the room and returned with a small pouch.  Inside was a sterling silver charm bracelet she had not worn in decades.  She explained that she is at an age where she is not comfortable drawing attention to her hands.  She prefers necklaces over bracelets or attention-grabbing rings.  Now thanks to the charm necklace and the double-lobster clasps she can wear her vintage charm bracelet around her neck in a modern way…in a way that makes her happy and comfortable!  And THIS was the giant underscore/exclamation point on one thing we learn in our training as jewelry reps:  don’t ever pre-judge anyone when sharing more about the jewelry or the business opportunity to represent the jewelry.  And yet I had (subconsciously) pre-judged my own Mom!  I assumed that since she prefers gold jewelry she would have zero interest in a sterling silver necklace.  Boy was I mistaken!!

Tuesday:  What a small world!  My youngest brother is now the sales account manager for the company where I am currently consulting!  Meaning, the place where I work is a client of his!  He flew up here to come to the campus to get his access cardkey and laptop set up.  How joyful it was to see him, introduce him to my manager and co-workers and have lunch.  We are quite close despite being nearly 8 years apart and such different lives.  He got married right out of college and he and his wife have 3 kids under age 9…and I am single with no kids.  Boy, I adore my nephews and niece!  So it was wonderful reconnecting with my brother and seeing him discover where I work – his new client – for the first time.  Glorious.

And I came home after work and the damn laptop here was at a crawl pace.  I rebooted it several times and my Start menu was all jacked up.  Arrrghh!!  I figured I probably had a computer virus or some other nightmare.  After about an hour on the phone with the nice people at Dell (yep, I’m a hard-core PC gal…no Macs here) I had a new registry cleaner/virus protection program installed.  And got rid of the old one.  And it’s like I have a new laptop.  Amazing improved performance!!

Wednesday:  After another very hectic day at work I went to my co-worker K’s house for dinner.  We used to share a large office – she’s since moved to a different group at our company and I miss working with her immensely.  Over the past few months working together we became friends and discovered we both have a passion for cooking!  She made a wonderful dinner in her new tagine and I brought the wine!  I got to meet her 3 kids (her husband was out of town on business) and share a seat at their dinner table.  K has girlfriends over for dinner all the time while her husband is away.  It’s really important for her to show her kids that while she loves being a wife and being their Mom, she’s also a friend to many.  After dinner the kids went to do homework and K and I talked.  And “all of a sudden” it was 10:30pm.  I cherish those conversations immensely.

When I got home I realized I had not gone to my mailbox in a few days.  Voila…there was my NEW PASSPORT!!  Oh, the possibilities.  If I had been there when the postman delivered it I would have hugged him.

Thursday:  Yet another hectic day at work (do we detect a pattern here folks?) and afterwards I headed into the city to meet L (my guy BFF) at a sports bar to watch hockey.  Years ago when he and I had decided that we were better off as friends than dating we had gone to this place a couple of times.  What a trip coming back to this place after 6-7 years.  The last time he and I were here it was before the no-smoking regulation went into effect in bars in the state of Washington here.  I remember the smoke hanging 4 feet from the ceiling it was so thick.  A much more pleasant experience this time around with no smoke.  And, the Stanley Cup playoffs go on…and I have no team to cheer for.  When Vancouver and Pittsburgh (my two favorite teams) each got eliminated in the first round, I was stunned.  And with no “plan C” on my radar to cheer for because I didn’t think I’d need one so soon.  And I still don’t have one.  I never get tired of watching the playoffs but it’s weird not having a favorite picked out.  And I’m totally bummed that the Canucks are out.  I’d hoped with my new passport to drive up with L and catch a game at a Vancouver sports bar.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think they’d be out so soon.  New passport…alas, too late for this Canucks season.

Friday:  Ah, fabulous Friday.  My whole work team is head down buried in WORK.  We are a great team and work wonderfully well together – one of the healthiest groups I’ve had the pleasure to consult with ever – but boy we are feeling the burn. We’re tired.  I see it in everyone’s eyes.  Voices.  Mannerisms.  We will get through everything we need to and support one another.

So after this wonderful week I was so ready to just go home and CRASH.  And sleep for days and not give a shit.  I left work probably two hours later than I usually do.  And I figured the commute would not take too long given it was after peak time. 

About halfway home (I commute on mostly two-lane surface streets between two suburbs) I turned a corner and traffic was at a dead stop at a major intersection.  With a long, long line of cars just waiting.  What was going on?  The stoplight was out!  UGH.  I painfully crawled through two major intersections with no functioning stoplight.  I thought I was slowly dying.  I just wanted to get HOME!

I just am confounded at how much LIFE got crammed into this past week.  It was like a slingshot after that weekend workshop…my perspectives are shifting…everything is shifting.  New things happened BAM BAM BAM every evening this week.  THIS is what happens when you shake up your routine.

So what’s next?  I don’t know but whatever it is is going to be extraordinary.  And why am I blogging on Saturday?  Well, L and I had planned on doing more popcorn ceiling scraping here in the townhouse tomorrow.  But it turns out he has a lot of work and a deadline so we have to reschedule.  What will I do tomorrow instead?  Probably sleep…well not all day.

And next Wednesday I’m going to see The Hunger Games.  After work.  By myself.  THIS is another Shake in my routine.  And lots more to follow.