Tag Archives: diet

More Intuitive Eating Journeys!

24 Sunday Feb 2013

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Middle Fork Sno RiverWell hmmm!  I unintentionally took a mid-winter break of sorts last week with no post!  As much as I relish this Sunday writing ritual (and I hope you all do too!) I do enjoy a mental break a couple of times a year.

I went on an amazing hike last Sunday – my first ever winter hike – along the middle fork of the Snoqualmie River.   From the gorgeous scenery, the patches of snow on the trail and the sounds of the beautiful rushing river below, this is a must-see.  And it’s not a super extreme kick-your-ass type of hike either.  I was glad for that.  J does quite a bit of hiking, while I in contrast have 10-year-old hiking boots I’ve probably worn 10 times or less, so I’m definitely a novice.  I’m just not a super outdoorsy person, despite living a short drive from so much to explore outside of the city and suburbs.  So it was nice doing a radical change of scenery while feeling safe and having fun with someone who knows his stuff and how to navigate the twisty turning access roads like a champ.  Who knows…I just might rediscover hiking this spring and summer!

On the Intuitive Eating front I feel like I lapsed back a bit these past couple weeks…back to my habit of unconscious eating.  Meaning, eating lunch or snacking while I’m at my desk at work, or absent-mindedly munching on pasta for dinner while on my couch watching TV.  Or inhaling a protein bar while driving to work.  Just not really paying any attention to the food itself, how it tastes or how full I’m getting.  And all of this is perfectly OK!  I know it deep down and the assurance of my coach sealed the deal.  My life has been full of lots of additional stresses and noises, and it’s only been a growing crescendo recently.  I’m wrapping up my current work engagement in T-minus 4 days while interviewing for another one.  I love the experience that interviewing provides, and I have a lot more confidence doing it this time around, whether it’s over the phone or in-person with a panel.  My work engagement was a roaring success with an amazing team…they’re gonna be a hard act to follow!  Contrast that to when I was out of work a few years ago.  I felt broken and empty. My self-confidence had taken a beating after 7 or 8 months of not working.  THIS time around it’s a different story.  It’s energizing…but exhausting.  I come home from work mentally fried after fielding an interview or two that same day.  And I haven’t been exercising as regularly as I’d hoped I would to blow off that stress.  I finally got back in the gym yesterday for the first time this year!  What a joy that the typical New Years crowds have died down!

My coach recommended a wonderful exercise to practice when I’m feeling in a whirlwind, fried and running on adrenaline. It’s 3 minutes of mindfulness…of sensing my body, where it’s touching surfaces like the floor or a chair…then noticing the sounds I hear around me…and lastly what I see.  And a few deep breaths!  That’s the high level content of the exercise and yes, it works!

I thought I’d post today about one of the 10 principles of Intuitive Eating.  Sometimes (rather, often times), writing things down helps the ideas and concepts seal into my brain. 

Principle 1:  Reject the diet mentality.  Yeah, this one’s a DOOZY, especially this first part of the year when it seems just about everyone is making resolutions to lose weight and trying all sorts of diets or cleanses and gleefully posting about them on Facebook or in water cooler chit-chat at work.  Here’s what the authors have to say about this oh-so-challeging-to-grasp first principle:

“Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you the false hope of losing weight quickly, easily and permanently.  Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight.  If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.”

Hoo doggy…how’s THAT for a polarizing few sentences?  Flies right in the face of what most of us (well, many I know) have been taught through society expectations and peer pressure, doesn’t it?  What do YOU think about this first principle? 

Yep…”get angry at the lies.”  That’s powerful stuff!  When a diet ‘failed’ and I gained back all of the weight and then some, I immediately pointed the finger at myself, that *I* was the once who blew it.  Know what?  It was the DIET…NOT ME!  I’m really trying to get the clanging gong in my head once and for all that DIETS DON’T WORK! They are THE quickest way to short-circuit a healthy relationship with food. And like my coach says, “once you have made that mental shift, you can’t un-ring the bell.”  It reminds me a bit of the workshops I did last spring which celebrate men and women and our differences.  Talk about an illuminating new point of view!  Once you really let it sink in, there’s no going back.  Ever.

There’s much, much more about this first principle in the book…and there is a very detailed 4-step process on how to go about rejecting the diet mentality.  I promise you, this content is worth reading through several times.  We are so diet-obsessed in this society and readily identify with a choice to diet no matter what it is…and yet the Intuitive Eating process is quite often met with confusion or dismissal.  Listening to internal cues, eating what my body wants when it’s hungry…and stopping when I feel full.  How can this be so foreign and hard to grasp? 

One poster on an IE online discussion forum I peruse frequently sums it up great, with a little tongue in cheek:  “It’s hilarious that people can post about what urine they are injecting to lose weight, or what barely legal speed pill is the new miracle of weight loss, but any mention of eating according to natural hunger and you are a zealot and unacceptable.”  I love it.  And I hope she doesn’t mind me anonymously quoting her post.  It’s a gem and worth sharing.

I’m just barely turning a corner on this journey, leaving dieting behind forever.  I know this is the right path for me. 

No one knows my body better than my own body!

Opposite Anorexic

21 Monday Jan 2013

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I’ve read how people with anorexia can have a very distorted body image when they look in the mirror.  They may be painfully, dangerously thin but see a fat person looking back at them in the mirror.

I have the opposite problem.  I’m no string bean and have always struggled with my weight, but I’ve always thought I looked good in the mirror.  In proportion and relatively fit.  Great smile and great skin.  I love my hair too…well, most days.  Sure over the years a few crinkles and grey hairs have popped up, and that double chin keeps trying to pop back in.  And the pounds.  Over the years I’ve learned to embrace how I’m built.  I’ll never be 6 feet tall with mile-long legs nor will I have deep, olive skin that tans. [As a kid I wanted to grow up to be Cher!!  No kidding!].  And in my adulthood my style icon is/was the late, great Carolyn Bessette Kennedy.  Once again, my style icon is tall.  But I got blessed with a 5′ 4″ body complete with short legs (this is why I mostly wear heels), pale skin that doesn’t tan…and curves.  Even when I was at my leanest a few years ago, I was a curvy size 6.  With a tiny waist and all.

So, there’s a huge difference between looking in the mirror and seeing yourself in pictures.  I now cringe at pictures and try to not be the one front and center in full view.  I feel wonderful, happy, sexy and blessed…and yet in pictures I see this large girl very out of proportion to most others around me.  I look huge!  I started having this realization that I was not the size I perceived myself to be when I went shopping last summer for a trip to Kansas City.  No wonder I hardly shop for clothes anymore and spend my money on great accessories like shoes, purses, jewelry and sunglasses!  Accessories don’t care what size you are!

And last weekend I did something I haven’t done in about two years.  I got on the scale.  It’s been staring at me in the guest bathroom whenever I’m in there, taunting me.  When I was losing weight and doing lots of walking about 9 (eesh going on 10) years ago, I’d weigh myself daily every morning and take the weekly averages of my weight and plot it on a graph.  I loved this method, for you could easily trend your weight loss over time, and not freak out about a pound or two weight gain on the daily weigh-ins.  Our weight fluctuates up and down all the time, which is why I am opposed to weekly weigh-ins.  You don’t get the full story.

So last weekend there it was, that number staring back at me:  199.5 lbs.  Holy fuck.  I shlumped to the floor and sobbed.  How in the hell could this happen???  I can’t possibly weigh that much, right??  I’m only 5’4″ (1.6m)!!  FUCK!!  FUCK!! FUCK!! Oh and that’s about 90.5 kg for my metric readers.

I’m still in shock and horror reading this.  I know I’m not skinny.  I can wear (US) size 14 clothes most of the time and carry them off fairly well, but my tiny waist is long gone.  I can row 5000m in under 30 minutes!  I can lift weights! I’m no lazy ass…right?  What the hell happened?  Well, blame it on the 40-something decade, but that’s just an excuse.  About 5 years ago I went on the Pill after finding a new doctor, having started a new relationship too.  Oh, and a new job.  Turns out I was batting zero with all 3 after less than a year but that’s OK…not all of our paths go the way we want them to.  I remember being reluctant to go back on the Pill because of the potential for weight gain, but I was assured the hormone levels were far lower than when I took the Pill 25+ years ago as a teen to help regulate my periods.

But nope, I blew up like a balloon.  The Pill was one of the dumbest most recent decisions I’ve made and I’ll never, ever do it again.

Now I’m stuck with a legacy I can’t shake and the pounds have crept up big time.  I think I was around 170-175 lbs at my heaviest a few years ago (at least from what I know, when I weighed myself).

So what to do?  WELL, the Universe has once again served up exactly what’s needed when it’s needed.  I’m going to start meeting weekly with a friend who is going through an intensive program to become a weight loss coach, specializing in Intuitive Eating.  I’m going to be her guinea pig as she practices coaching me!  This is going to be a wonderful journey and I’m super excited she reached out to suggest this! Thrilled! Going in with an open mind and the dial on 10.

Now, I’m a Taurus, so I take my food VERY seriously…it’s a sensual pleasure.  I love eating out and trying new foods.  I love pretty much any food save for super strong curries and Brussel sprouts.  I love grocery shopping and browsing cookbooks.  Great food, drink and conversation feed my soul.  So any super restrictive diety-diets are only good for the short-term and will leave me deprived, hungry and angry.  Or not even wanting to try them at all.

So my next few posts may likely document how things are progressing through this Intuitive Eating program, but it won’t be my sole focus in here.  Fivenineteen.org is eclectic just like her author, so keep on expecting variety as always.

And if you have a topic you’d like me to blog about, please feel free to message me!

No Accidents

18 Sunday Mar 2012

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I truly believe there are no accidents in life.  Things DO happen exactly as they’re supposed to.  Sometimes that’s hard for me to fully accept – perhaps there’s a wee or not so wee streak of control freak in me.  Sometimes I get frustrated and pouty when things don’t happen WHEN or HOW *I* want them to.  Sounds kind of childish.  But that stream flows in me and creeps up when I get extra tired and stressed.  Kind of sounds like the last few weeks…I’ve re-read a few of my recent posts in here and yowza – I’ve got a lot going on and boiling within me!

So what to do about it?  Nothing?  Something? Yesterday things unfolded so deliciously, one by one.  I’m not Irish but perhaps I got a much-needed dose of St. Patrick’s Day luck.   And given so much got crammed into March 17, 2012, it was a good thing the day got started a little (lot?) earlier than usual. 

Yep, I got my tired self out of bed, dressed and over into the wonderful Ballard neighborhood of Seattle for a fun mini spa and nutrition seminar at my new friend M’s condo.  YES!  Another jaunt into the city – this totally refreshes me.  I couldn’t believe the snowflakes as I whizzed through Seattle in my car.  I met M at a Silpada jewelry party my friend T hosted back in December.  M is one of those wonderful souls with warm energy – the type you’re just drawn to!  She told me about a line of skin care and nutrition supplements she represents and asked if I would be interested in coming to one of her seminars!  Absolutely, I said!

Know when you meet someone and during your conversation they tell you “oh, we should get together and…” …and you never hear from them again?  Or you just fall out of contact? Not a big deal – nothing personal – but when someone DOES really, truly reach out to you with a sincere invitation to join them to learn about something they’re so passionate about, well, that energy is contagious! 

Even just the journey of driving back into the Ballard neighborhood made me smile.  I lived in some adjacent neighborhoods the first half of the 1990s before moving back to the suburbs – my childhood roots.  And the only reason I moved was due to my work commute.  The company I worked for at that time moved from downtown to the suburbs, which would have made my new commute via bus or car a nightmare.  Le Sigh…I often wonder what path my life might have taken had that company not moved.  I’d likely still be in the city.  

I can’t believe how much Ballard has changed.  Tons of new condos and apartments have sprouted up in this formerly somewhat-sleepy slice of Seattle.  I laughed as I had forgotten about allowing extra time to find street parking – surprisingly packed on a Saturday morning.  Could have easily been a Friday night! I dressed a little over optimistically in khakis, an olive green cashmere tank top and a denim jacket.  Damn that was a cold and biting wind as I dashed a few blocks up to M’s condo.  I’m glad I threw on a pashmina wrap before leaving the house. Brrrr.

M represents Usana Health Sciences.  So much to learn about all of these products! Everything from shampoo to nutritional supplements.  I have just scratched the surface and would not do it justice to explain more about it here but boy it is intriguing.  M, her neighbor and I had a fun mini spa at her dining room table, trying out a few exfoliating products, cleansers and moisturizers…with wonderful hot towels heated in her slow cooker! I’m so glad I wore a sleeveless top under my jacket.  Ahhh, I rubbed extra product onto my forearms and elbows. 

I’m taking the plunge and trying their 5-day “reset” program.  It’s designed to help your body kick carbohydrate cravings which spike blood sugar.  I’m not sure what it’s going to be like for me to replace a meal or two a day with a shake for a few days, but I’m going to give it a try.  Two years ago I kicked a 25+ year addiction to Diet Coke cold turkey and I don’t miss it one bit.  If I can do that without any bodily freakouts I can try this Reset program for 5 days, right?  I’ll likely have more to blog about it once the pack arrives next week.  Hmmm!  Years ago I tried adjusting my eating to where I only eat carbs at one meal – usually dinner.  It DOES make a difference.  I’m not as rigid about it now…I occasionally have a sandwich at lunch and today just finished a bagel with cream cheese.  Maybe I do need to be more hard core.

Is it just me or is anyone else noticing how many people are hungering (no pun intended) for better health?  Or other “health” like a more sustainable planet (recycling and all things Green)?  Organic food?  Overall wellness and happiness?  I swear I’ve sensed this spike up since we flipped the calendar pages to 2012.  I wonder what’s going on?  Or it is because we’re so much more uber-connected now because of Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and on and on that we can’t help but NOT know what everyone is up to? 

I pondered these things as I relished my mini facial (and forearm facial) at M’s place. We chatted for a bit before I left…I think I was still in winding down mode and destressing after another busy work week.  But I was sure grateful for a friendly ear!

L invited me over to his place that evening – he wanted to make tacos and watch hockey on TV together.  I’d already made plans to see T but I told him I would call after leaving M’s, as L also lives in Ballard.  I swung by for a quick hello and visit.  He’d been sick this past week and I while I didn’t want to risk catching anything I did want to go see him – would have been silly to be such a short drive away and not drop by.  Ahhh…THIS was the fun hanging out with L that I remember.  No stress from my townhouse project he’s been helping me with, no me being cranky coming home from work and him hanging out at my place, falling asleep in front of the TV or what have you.  He told me how much his web design and photography business is growing and how busy he is.  Wonderful! I had to get back into Kirkland for an appointment but as I left he gave me some IKEA shelving he wants to help set up for me in my garage.  Says we just need some one by eights and we’re good to go.  Hmmm, I think that means a size of plywood but I will let him figure that out for me.  He also wants me to join him out on the coast next weekend.  He’s doing a photo shoot and the client has given him use of a very nice vacation rental house.  You know, I just might go!  Good to get out of town for a bit and I’d have my own room and all.

When I got back over the bridge I realized I had about an hour to kill before my appointment at The Woodmark Spa over on Carillon Point.  On a whim I called the spa asking if they could take me any earlier.  Surprise…they could!  Ah, efficiency.  And while my spa treatment was more, ahem, maintenance than pampering, it’s always great to see my aesthetician…can’t believe it’s been over 10 years now!

I stopped at the grocery store, grabbed a nice bottle of Pinot Noir and later drove over to Sammamish for a girls night in with T.  She was going to try a new brownie recipe, baked with Guinness!  How perfect for St. Patrick’s Day!  I brought a couple of trays of jewelry for us to play with too and she picked out some amazing new pieces.  And damn that Pinot went well with chocolate!  That’s some of the ingredients in today’s picture.  I feel so blessed to have T in my life – she is such a cherished friend!  She even gave me a coupon for a discount on a 2-day workshop about understanding men.  Can this topic really be covered in two days?  I’m kind of joking here but in a way not really!  T has absolutely raved about this and other similar workshops she’s attended.  She says it’s not only improved her dating life but also her quality of friendships with women (and men) too!  Wow!  Sign me up…late April it is.

I slept in till 11am today and savored every moment, remembering my wonderful luck-filled Saturday.  I’ve got a late hockey game tonight – last game of our regular season…so a nap might be in order later this afternoon!  Meanwhile, I have a new book thanks to my new friend D.  Strengths Finder 2.0, by Tom Rath.  I can’t wait to discover what’s inside!