Tag Archives: confidence

Minus 30!

30 Sunday Mar 2014

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Yep, we’re off the plateau and on a downward roll!  I’m officially down 30 lbs (13.6 kg) since last July when I took a leap of faith and joined the Lean Eating program for women that is offered twice a year by Precision Nutrition.  I can’t believe we’re sliding into the home stretch – we’ll be “done” this coming July!  And I use “done” in quotes because, to my relief, there is a ton of post-program support out there.  Meetup groups, Facebook groups, online forums, coaches to Skype with, you name it.  Plus I now have a growing repertoire of weight training and interval workouts at my fingertips!  I may repeat the entire exercise program again just to keep up momentum and see how much stronger I am the second time around!

I’m feeling so much happier and more confident with my body.  Clothes are getting looser, smaller sizes are fitting better…and I can sit and cross my legs comfortably. People’s reactions to seeing me who haven’t seen me in a while are priceless!  I love this!!  I literally feel ‘lighter’ too, just like the shrinking number on the scale!  Now, we are coached to know that the number on the scale is not the be-all tell-all indicator of our progress.  And it’s just a number!  We’re also doing our measurements weekly and recording our progress.  You really can see the progress there and THAT’S where it counts.  Muscle weighs twice as much as fat, and we’re building lean muscle mass through our weight training sessions.   I’ve heard so many stories about how people make personal shopping appointments at a department store and provide their height and weight information to the stylist.  And the stylist picks out PLUS SIZED clothes, only to meet up with her client who is fit!!  OOPS.  And yikes.  Not a good way to start off a personal shopping appointment!

I was worried a little about looking older as I lost weight.  They say a little fat padding, especially in our faces, helps us look youthful.  And I’ve always joked that my chubby pink cheeks puff out my wrinkles!  I’m 46…turning 47 in May and I AM a little sensitive about aging. On the road full speed to 50. And about looking middle-aged and all…some say people in that age group are ‘invisible’ to others.  Overlooked and ignored.  UGH.  Would slimming down age me?  Or make my skin saggy and lifeless on my face or elsewhere?

Thankfully (so far) that has NOT been the case.  In fact people have commented that I look even younger now.  And my posture has improved. They say losing weight gradually and while doing weight training at the same time helps your skin ‘catch up’ with lost inches, AND you’re building muscle too in the process.

So far, it’s working!  Making regular exercise a priority was probably the most daunting aspect of this program when I first signed up.  Could I really stick with it?  Could I do the workouts?  The answer is a resounding YES all around.  I don’t always jump for joy when I head to the gym, but that’s where the ‘action before motivation’ mantra kicks in.  I DO know how great I feel after I’ve worked out.  And now I’m seeing a tiny bit of muscle definition in my arms and shoulders.  In my legs and hips.  The extra baggy cotton t-shirts I used to work out in are now replaced by snugger synthetic t-shirts or tanks.  My face has slimmed down and people have commented I need a new headshot for my jewelry business website something fierce.

Consistency is the key to success with this journey, whatever that looks like.  No flash in the pan superstar-ness is needed here.  Just regular, consistent exercise…with a change in routine and in difficulty every 4 weeks or so.

I’ll likely have more posts about what this program has provided for me as we head into the final phases.  Can’t say enough about how AWESOME and life-changing this has been for me!!!

Turning a Mini Corner of Sorts

20 Sunday Oct 2013

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The last couple of weeks something has really clicked inside me…and the first time it happened it kind of freaked me out.

I was at work, having a really good day, and then smiled to myself and thought: “Wow!  After this I get to go work out!”  What the hell??  Did I REALLY just think that??  What’s going on here?

This was a teeny-weeny sign bubbling up in me that my new exercise habits are starting to gel.  I’m in the gym 5-6 nights a week (and trying to get active outside one night a week but it’s getting a little too cold and dark for that now, despite having virtually zero rain in a couple of weeks – how rare is THAT?).  And when I can’t work out after work, I miss it.  I’m getting more and more comfortable with the workouts provided in this Lean Eating for Women program I’m now about 3 months into – it’s a year-long program actually, and I can’t wait to learn what’s next as we’re only 1/4 of the way done!

Just in these last few months I’ve noticed changes.  I’m making exercise and planning  meals ahead of time a habit.  That still requires a lot of practice, but just like learning a dance step…it gets a little easier every time.  Don’t get me wrong – the workouts are challenging and continue to build upon themselves gradually.  A great combo of weight resistance training, core work and cardio.  When I’m done I FEEL GREAT.  Well, I’ll admit the first couple of weeks were brutal, but not in a really bad way.  I hadn’t done any regular weight training in years (hockey does NOT increase your upper body strength, at least not at the intermediate/novice level I played at for 9 years).

After the first few workouts in the gym I woke up so sore I couldn’t hardly get out of bed the next day (whoops, there ARE core muscles deep in my belly, ha ha).  But I stayed with the program and I didn’t give up.  I knew every time I went back to the gym I would practice the workouts yet again and gradually I’d get more comfortable with them.  Only to have them change right at that time…by design, I’m sure!  Never want those muscles to get too comfy…the constant change and gradual increasing of resistance (without compromising form) is the key.  Gotta love variety.  And I never feel like I’ve overworked a certain part of my body with any of these workouts.

Does exercise actually DECREASE appetite?  In my case, the answer is a shocking YES!  WOW. I’m down about 12 lbs and 11 inches (a combo of neck, shoulder girth, bust, hips measurements etc. all totaled up).  And I DO notice my clothes starting to fit and hang a little better, and I even had to adjust my bra straps because they were getting too loose and slipping off of my shoulders during the day!  Some button front shirts I’ve had for a few years had become too tight and gape-y in the bustline (ugh, so tacky)…and now are starting to fit like they used to!  I have a ton of clothes to sort through to get ready for a big purge and run to Goodwill, and I’m trying to restrain from buying a lot of new clothes right now because they may (I hope) become too big again in the near future.  Now, I have purchased a few new items to give my wardrobe a little boost (I love my cashmere sweaters but after 6-7 years some are starting to look a little worn).  Soooo, I’m sticking with knits wherever possible, as they will forgive through changing sizes (I hope).  A short-sleeved shell for work, a motorcycle-style zip front black jacket and some knit black pants.  OH and a pair of dark denim jeans with a little stretch that fit like a dream and are super flattering.

Know what else I’ve noticed, er…not noticed?  Far fewer (if any) PMS cravings! And less tenderness and bloat, if that makes any sense to my female readers in here.  In fact, when (ahem) Aunt Flo arrived this month (right on schedule and I count my blessings for that at age 46), I was a bit surprised!  I didn’t have any of the normal food cravings, breast tenderness, puffy/irritated feeling that gave me all the signals my period was right around the corner.  Rather, the only ‘symptoms’ I had were midcycle – a flu-like feeling – which thankfully didn’t trigger food cravings.  Is this all the benefit of regular exercise and/or working on improving nutrition?  If so, I’m starting to ‘get it’!

My posture is better and I’m feeling radiant inside.  I continue to gain more confidence in the weight room, navigating through the macho grunts and the regulars.  I can deal with the crowds Monday nights…and on Friday nights it can be pretty much a library it’s so empty!

An 80-something man is one of the regulars, and he walked by me one night while I was doing push ups and joked ‘ya gotta SMILE when you do those.’  HA HA HA.

More Intuitive Eating Journeys!

24 Sunday Feb 2013

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Middle Fork Sno RiverWell hmmm!  I unintentionally took a mid-winter break of sorts last week with no post!  As much as I relish this Sunday writing ritual (and I hope you all do too!) I do enjoy a mental break a couple of times a year.

I went on an amazing hike last Sunday – my first ever winter hike – along the middle fork of the Snoqualmie River.   From the gorgeous scenery, the patches of snow on the trail and the sounds of the beautiful rushing river below, this is a must-see.  And it’s not a super extreme kick-your-ass type of hike either.  I was glad for that.  J does quite a bit of hiking, while I in contrast have 10-year-old hiking boots I’ve probably worn 10 times or less, so I’m definitely a novice.  I’m just not a super outdoorsy person, despite living a short drive from so much to explore outside of the city and suburbs.  So it was nice doing a radical change of scenery while feeling safe and having fun with someone who knows his stuff and how to navigate the twisty turning access roads like a champ.  Who knows…I just might rediscover hiking this spring and summer!

On the Intuitive Eating front I feel like I lapsed back a bit these past couple weeks…back to my habit of unconscious eating.  Meaning, eating lunch or snacking while I’m at my desk at work, or absent-mindedly munching on pasta for dinner while on my couch watching TV.  Or inhaling a protein bar while driving to work.  Just not really paying any attention to the food itself, how it tastes or how full I’m getting.  And all of this is perfectly OK!  I know it deep down and the assurance of my coach sealed the deal.  My life has been full of lots of additional stresses and noises, and it’s only been a growing crescendo recently.  I’m wrapping up my current work engagement in T-minus 4 days while interviewing for another one.  I love the experience that interviewing provides, and I have a lot more confidence doing it this time around, whether it’s over the phone or in-person with a panel.  My work engagement was a roaring success with an amazing team…they’re gonna be a hard act to follow!  Contrast that to when I was out of work a few years ago.  I felt broken and empty. My self-confidence had taken a beating after 7 or 8 months of not working.  THIS time around it’s a different story.  It’s energizing…but exhausting.  I come home from work mentally fried after fielding an interview or two that same day.  And I haven’t been exercising as regularly as I’d hoped I would to blow off that stress.  I finally got back in the gym yesterday for the first time this year!  What a joy that the typical New Years crowds have died down!

My coach recommended a wonderful exercise to practice when I’m feeling in a whirlwind, fried and running on adrenaline. It’s 3 minutes of mindfulness…of sensing my body, where it’s touching surfaces like the floor or a chair…then noticing the sounds I hear around me…and lastly what I see.  And a few deep breaths!  That’s the high level content of the exercise and yes, it works!

I thought I’d post today about one of the 10 principles of Intuitive Eating.  Sometimes (rather, often times), writing things down helps the ideas and concepts seal into my brain. 

Principle 1:  Reject the diet mentality.  Yeah, this one’s a DOOZY, especially this first part of the year when it seems just about everyone is making resolutions to lose weight and trying all sorts of diets or cleanses and gleefully posting about them on Facebook or in water cooler chit-chat at work.  Here’s what the authors have to say about this oh-so-challeging-to-grasp first principle:

“Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you the false hope of losing weight quickly, easily and permanently.  Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight.  If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating.”

Hoo doggy…how’s THAT for a polarizing few sentences?  Flies right in the face of what most of us (well, many I know) have been taught through society expectations and peer pressure, doesn’t it?  What do YOU think about this first principle? 

Yep…”get angry at the lies.”  That’s powerful stuff!  When a diet ‘failed’ and I gained back all of the weight and then some, I immediately pointed the finger at myself, that *I* was the once who blew it.  Know what?  It was the DIET…NOT ME!  I’m really trying to get the clanging gong in my head once and for all that DIETS DON’T WORK! They are THE quickest way to short-circuit a healthy relationship with food. And like my coach says, “once you have made that mental shift, you can’t un-ring the bell.”  It reminds me a bit of the workshops I did last spring which celebrate men and women and our differences.  Talk about an illuminating new point of view!  Once you really let it sink in, there’s no going back.  Ever.

There’s much, much more about this first principle in the book…and there is a very detailed 4-step process on how to go about rejecting the diet mentality.  I promise you, this content is worth reading through several times.  We are so diet-obsessed in this society and readily identify with a choice to diet no matter what it is…and yet the Intuitive Eating process is quite often met with confusion or dismissal.  Listening to internal cues, eating what my body wants when it’s hungry…and stopping when I feel full.  How can this be so foreign and hard to grasp? 

One poster on an IE online discussion forum I peruse frequently sums it up great, with a little tongue in cheek:  “It’s hilarious that people can post about what urine they are injecting to lose weight, or what barely legal speed pill is the new miracle of weight loss, but any mention of eating according to natural hunger and you are a zealot and unacceptable.”  I love it.  And I hope she doesn’t mind me anonymously quoting her post.  It’s a gem and worth sharing.

I’m just barely turning a corner on this journey, leaving dieting behind forever.  I know this is the right path for me. 

No one knows my body better than my own body!