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Quarantine and Purge

17 Sunday Nov 2013

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Well yuck.  What’s that they say about colds…treat one and it goes away in a week – don’t treat it and it takes 7 days?  If that’s true we’re on day 3 here and it sucks.  I feel like a deflated balloon full of phlegm.

My friend T says it’s the stress of the past week that caught up with me.  I guess she’s right!  I’ve been staying strong, sticking with my workouts, finding some private time to cry a little and focusing on my work.  I haven’t been sick ALL YEAR and feel pretty damn good about that!  Normally 2 or 3 colds a year is typical.  I started to feel a little tingly and sneezy late Friday afternoon at work.  But I went to the gym as usual and did my weight training.  I was feeling a little weak but not super weak…I knew Aunt Flo was right around the corner so I chalked it up to that.

On Saturday I woke up feeling like my sinuses and throat were full of sandpaper.  Oh no, here we go…it’s a cold alright.  This weekend was one of those where my team works overnight and I was slated for the 1:30am – 10:00am shift on Sunday.  Yes, that’s AM on Sunday.  Thankfully I was able to get someone to back me up.

And I called my friend P sad and in tears…last night was her Bon Voyage party, as she gets ready for a trip of a lifetime…Belize, Australia and New Zealand!!  It’s a dream come true for her and I’m so excited!!  And so sad I couldn’t come to her party and see her.  But no way was I going to risk spreading cold germs around.

So it’s Quarantine time for fivenineteen.  Sometimes we need alone time to recharge the batteries, but too much of it makes me feel so isolated and lonely.  Thankfully I had enough stuff this past week to keep me connected and happy.

My youngest brother is up here on business quite a bit, and we met up at my house after our gym workouts one night to start putting my bedroom back together.  It was just over a month ago that J helped take my bed apart and get things temporarily set up in my 3rd bedroom so R could finish the popcorn ceiling scraping and finishing in my bedroom, master vanity and the walk-in closet.  Our plan once that was finished was to paint, shampoo the carpets and then put the room back together.  Love it!

How much things changed in a month.  How wrong I was about where our relationship stood. Now I have no idea when I’ll hear from J again.  I texted him last week to let him know I was doing alright.  We talked about getting together on Veterans Day to work on some more stuff here and he texted back sure, how about that afternoon? Sounded great to me.  But he went dark and I never heard boo and haven’t since.  So I can’t count on him right now and that makes me feel like I got punched in the stomach.  Breathe, breathe and give it space.  Lots of his tools are down in my garage, so at some point he’s going to want them back.

So my brother helped put my bed back together.  And I had a good talk and cry about everything with him too.  Ahhh…my beautiful bed, back in its frame and everything!  It won’t be hard to move it when it’s time to paint on that side of the room.  Yep, getting back in my bedroom trumped the carpet shampooing this time around.  Oh well…I can always have a carpet cleaning service do it.

Now I am blessed with a completely empty walk-in closet!  Which needs updating big time – it’s still got just one shelf and dowling for hangers in one row on three sides!  Ha ha 1980!  So where are all my clothes and shoes?  Downstairs in the living room on a railing and piled in huge garbage bags!  Oh, what a glorious mess!!

But as I like to say, there are no accidents.  Sure I’ve cleaned out that closet periodically over the years, but never like this.  Seeing all my clothes in a completely different setting was exactly what I needed to take a good, hard look at everything. So far I’ve filled 8 huge garbage bags and hauled them off to Goodwill!  YES!  Man it feels great to purge.  I found stuff I’d completely forgotten about.  And since I’ve lost weight I’ve been able to fit back into many things I couldn’t before!  It’s like shopping in my own closet!  Other stuff goes into the ‘no’ pile…stuff I’m sick of, stuff that’s out of style and stuff I haven’t worn in years.  They say we wear 10% of our wardrobe 90% of the time.  Do you think that’s true?  I try to NOT do that but I bet I probably do too.

So I’m going to pull the trigger and have the nice people at California Closets design a better solution for me.  Years ago they did a design and quote but I never got around to it…and if I remember correctly I’d planned to use part of my tax refund for it but changed my mind.  Now it’s time.

Turning a Mini Corner of Sorts

20 Sunday Oct 2013

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The last couple of weeks something has really clicked inside me…and the first time it happened it kind of freaked me out.

I was at work, having a really good day, and then smiled to myself and thought: “Wow!  After this I get to go work out!”  What the hell??  Did I REALLY just think that??  What’s going on here?

This was a teeny-weeny sign bubbling up in me that my new exercise habits are starting to gel.  I’m in the gym 5-6 nights a week (and trying to get active outside one night a week but it’s getting a little too cold and dark for that now, despite having virtually zero rain in a couple of weeks – how rare is THAT?).  And when I can’t work out after work, I miss it.  I’m getting more and more comfortable with the workouts provided in this Lean Eating for Women program I’m now about 3 months into – it’s a year-long program actually, and I can’t wait to learn what’s next as we’re only 1/4 of the way done!

Just in these last few months I’ve noticed changes.  I’m making exercise and planning  meals ahead of time a habit.  That still requires a lot of practice, but just like learning a dance step…it gets a little easier every time.  Don’t get me wrong – the workouts are challenging and continue to build upon themselves gradually.  A great combo of weight resistance training, core work and cardio.  When I’m done I FEEL GREAT.  Well, I’ll admit the first couple of weeks were brutal, but not in a really bad way.  I hadn’t done any regular weight training in years (hockey does NOT increase your upper body strength, at least not at the intermediate/novice level I played at for 9 years).

After the first few workouts in the gym I woke up so sore I couldn’t hardly get out of bed the next day (whoops, there ARE core muscles deep in my belly, ha ha).  But I stayed with the program and I didn’t give up.  I knew every time I went back to the gym I would practice the workouts yet again and gradually I’d get more comfortable with them.  Only to have them change right at that time…by design, I’m sure!  Never want those muscles to get too comfy…the constant change and gradual increasing of resistance (without compromising form) is the key.  Gotta love variety.  And I never feel like I’ve overworked a certain part of my body with any of these workouts.

Does exercise actually DECREASE appetite?  In my case, the answer is a shocking YES!  WOW. I’m down about 12 lbs and 11 inches (a combo of neck, shoulder girth, bust, hips measurements etc. all totaled up).  And I DO notice my clothes starting to fit and hang a little better, and I even had to adjust my bra straps because they were getting too loose and slipping off of my shoulders during the day!  Some button front shirts I’ve had for a few years had become too tight and gape-y in the bustline (ugh, so tacky)…and now are starting to fit like they used to!  I have a ton of clothes to sort through to get ready for a big purge and run to Goodwill, and I’m trying to restrain from buying a lot of new clothes right now because they may (I hope) become too big again in the near future.  Now, I have purchased a few new items to give my wardrobe a little boost (I love my cashmere sweaters but after 6-7 years some are starting to look a little worn).  Soooo, I’m sticking with knits wherever possible, as they will forgive through changing sizes (I hope).  A short-sleeved shell for work, a motorcycle-style zip front black jacket and some knit black pants.  OH and a pair of dark denim jeans with a little stretch that fit like a dream and are super flattering.

Know what else I’ve noticed, er…not noticed?  Far fewer (if any) PMS cravings! And less tenderness and bloat, if that makes any sense to my female readers in here.  In fact, when (ahem) Aunt Flo arrived this month (right on schedule and I count my blessings for that at age 46), I was a bit surprised!  I didn’t have any of the normal food cravings, breast tenderness, puffy/irritated feeling that gave me all the signals my period was right around the corner.  Rather, the only ‘symptoms’ I had were midcycle – a flu-like feeling – which thankfully didn’t trigger food cravings.  Is this all the benefit of regular exercise and/or working on improving nutrition?  If so, I’m starting to ‘get it’!

My posture is better and I’m feeling radiant inside.  I continue to gain more confidence in the weight room, navigating through the macho grunts and the regulars.  I can deal with the crowds Monday nights…and on Friday nights it can be pretty much a library it’s so empty!

An 80-something man is one of the regulars, and he walked by me one night while I was doing push ups and joked ‘ya gotta SMILE when you do those.’  HA HA HA.

(Funny) Roadtrip Packing Anxiety

08 Sunday Jul 2012

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I say “funny” because I just have to laugh at myself when something as relatively easy as packing for a long weekend out-of-town becomes overwhelming.  THAT’S a sign that you really DO need a vacation!

This year was a little weird, as the 4th of July holiday itself was on a Wednesday.  Lots of people took the entire week off from work.  I opted to work Monday and Tuesday as I did have some catching up to do, plus I knew I had more time away coming up later in July.  The plan was to work Tuesday and then immediately hit the road out to the Washington coast, where a bunch of relatives were gathering to celebrate the 4th of July, plus the 100th birthday of one of the family cabins out on the peninsula!  You can read all about it in yesterday’s post here.

On Sunday I was mentally making a list of what I should bring to the beach.  I found the small suitcase I wanted to use…and for some reason I just got overwhelmed.  What’s the big deal about packing a bag for a super casual 5-day getaway?

Then I went through said empty travel bag.  In one of the side pockets I found a crumpled magazine from July 2011.  And yep, I gulped.  Oh. My. God.  I have not gone anywhere out-of-town since 4th of July LAST year!!  How is this possible?  How sad is this?  What the hell have I been doing this past year…I haven’t just been sitting around, have I?  No, no…I’ve been head down in this job which I started in mid July last year.  Wow, it’s time for a break alright!  Damn.

On Monday night I started playing around with various piles of clothes to pack.  Why was I getting all freaked out about what to bring?  The coast is super casual…nothing like those episodes of Real Housewives where you see everyone in designer clothes in the Hamptons (The New York cast) or with tons of makeup and sequin bikinis (that would be New Jersey, hands down).  Cracks me up, by the way…and I’m a sucker for all episodes, all franchises.  I have a near-full DVR to prove it!

Thankfully I had a hockey game Monday night.  The perfect distraction plus some great exercise to blow off this silly packing anxiety and skate.  Hockey always tends to come up exactly when I need it!  And luckily this game was at the rink just a few minutes from my house.  I got back home, finished packing and then packed the last-minute stuff the next morning.

I am certainly no travel or packing expert any longer.  This post is more to document what worked for me, traveling to a beautiful area of the country with unpredictable weather, even in the summer. 

Shoes: 1 pair running shoes and 3 pairs sandals or flip-flops.  I brought a pair with a low wedge heel for driving (they’re also good for short walks…this is important as I have high arches), a pair that I didn’t mind getting all sandy after walking around on the beach, and a ‘clean’ pair for just hanging around the house which can also serve the purpose of slippers in the morning.  I LOVE walking in the sand on the beach, but when I’m done I want to rinse off my feet and have zero sand residue anywhere.

Underwear:  I always pack one pair for each day I’m away, plus one extra pair just in case.  If you plan on working out on your vacation, be sure to bring extra undergarments for that, a good sports bra, etc.  Socks…not really needed at the beach except for working out, so bring your favorite sport socks.

Sleepwear:  I sleep nude at home year ’round (TMI, sorry), so I do have to make a conscious effort to pack something to sleep in – it just feels weird sleeping nude in a house full of family members.  And I need to pack something to wear to breakfast that is decent and covered up.  Old tank tops with no bra is just not a good idea.  So I packed some old knit cropped pj pants and a snug t-shirt to sleep in.  For breakfast I changed into a bra, a different not-so-snug t-shirt and threw on my clean flip flops.

Tops:  t-shirts and more t-shirts!  In a super casual beach town that’s all you need…and a couple of tank tops.  I usually pack one for each day and will wear the one I wore first on my last day for the drive home.

Pants/shorts:  jeans, shorts…anything goes.  I typically pack one pair of shorts when I know the weather isn’t going to be so great (which is most of the year).  I’m a little self-conscious of my neon-white legs, so when it’s time to run around in the tide pools or in the surf I wear old cargo pants and just roll up the legs.  Be sure to bring stuff that you don’t mind getting wet or sandy!  You might also want a pair of lounging type sweats, yoga pants or leggings, different from the ones you bring for exercise.  They are great for relaxing, reading and napping.

Outerwear:  I bring a half-zip polar fleece and a windbreaker.  Even if it’s warm and sunny out, it can be very windy and cool on the beach.  And it cools off dramatically after sunset.  I also bring a baseball hat; be sure to pack a visor or other cap as it helps with sun protection and keeping your hair somewhat in place.

Sunglasses:  If you’re like me and are super sensitive to glare, you will wear these on cloudy days as much as sunny days.  A definite must!  For a short trip, one pair is fine.  Bring a pair for working out if you need to…either way be sure you’re OK with whatever you’re bringing getting a little salty air and mist on it.

Bathing suit:  long gone are the days I used to run out into the freezing waves as a teen and body surfed.  Brrr!  So I skipped bringing a bathing suit as I’m fine wading in the ocean with rolled up jeans.  And I don’t sunbathe.

Cosmetics and Toiletries:  I am a sucker for makeup and for trying all sorts of shampoos, conditioners and hair styling products.  So while I could likely go overboard in this department, I try to keep it simple for packing and find travel sizes wherever I can.  And I use the two adorable cases in this post’s picture!  (by Tory Burch and Burberry).  Here’s what I packed:

  • Sunscreen (ESSENTIAL!!).  I have neon-white skin (OK maybe porcelain or alabaster is a nicer way to put it) that does not tan, so I have a few things to say about sunscreen.  WEAR IT.  Wear it on cloudy days too.  I am simply in love with Neutrogena’s Ultra Sheer sunscreen.  I can wear it on my face as well as on my body and I don’t break out.  And once it’s on I don’t feel covered in goo. 
  • Bug repellent:  you might wonder why this is necessary at the ocean…mosquitoes like fresh water, not salt water!  Well, our home and property is about a quarter-mile from the ocean, and there is a creek running through the property in a woodsy area.  So, perfect for mosquitoes.  Bug repellant is just as important to me as sunscreen, as when I get bit the bites turn into welts.  Not pretty.  I choose a clear spray by Off that doesn’t stink TOO much.  But I joke that my signature fragrance at the coast is DEET.  I apply sunscreen and then spray the bug repellant on top.  Make sure to do the back of your neck and a light misting around your head too.  Amazingly, I only got ONE mosquito bite on my left hip in 5 days…they bit me right through my pants!
  • Hair care:  Another sensitive topic for me as my hair is wavy and heavily highlighted.  I usually smooth it out with a flat iron every morning, but I don’t like being a slave to that when I’m at the coast.  But I don’t want wild, frizzy hair either.  I recently discovered Renpure’s Brazilian Keratin flat iron spray and it’s a BIG thumbs up!  Woo hoo for great drugstore products…you don’t always need to spend a lot to get great stuff!  On days I wanted to skip the blow dryer (which was most days) I towel-dried my hair, sprayed on the flat iron spray, combed it through and let my hair dry naturally.  It was wavy, but in a controlled way with no frizz!  I usually like to use a finishing product to keep my ends weighed down, but I don’t like packing things that are too messy or gooey.  So I found a trial size of Jonathan’s Dirt deep in a bathroom drawer and threw it in my bag.  But I found it wasn’t that necessary after combing the straightening spray through first.
  • Skin care:  For efficiency’s sake I just use the same cleanser that I use on my body as a facial cleanser when I travel.  I swear by St. Ives apricot scrub – I use it very lightly in my t-zone as I am still prone to breakouts even at age 45 (ugh).  Then, Neutrogena rainbath shower gel, original formula.  I do spend a lot on cosmetics and hair care, but it’s nice having some drugstore staples that have worked great nearly half my life.  At night after cleansing my face I use a little eye cream on my crows feet and on the crinkles in my forehead.  Right now I’m really enjoying Ole Henriksen’s African red tea serum.
  • Makeup:  I truly wish I was one of those types with natural beauty, where you just throw your hair in a pony tail or loose bun, dab on a little lip balm and look stunning.  I’m a little sensitive to my ruddy cheeks and tendency for under eye circles, so given that I usually pack a light foundation, loose powder and kabuki brush, concealer, mascara and lip balm.  I dab the foundation on the reddest part of my cheeks and blend thoroughly.  Then I dab foundation on my eyelids and dust with the kabuki brush and put on a little mascara, upper lashes only.  It seems to work and doesn’t have a heavy made-up look.

Other essentials:  Deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, nail clipper, tweezers, prescription meds and/or vitamins, pain reliever…and ladies, feminine products.

Relaxing:  bring a couple of books (or your portable reading device if you have one) and some magazines.

Portable electronics:  your music player of choice (LOVE my iPod!), cell phone, Bluetooth headset for driving…and don’t forget your chargers! 

What I left at home?  Sounds like I brought the whole world with me but there were quite a few things I chose to leave at home:

  • Jewelry (other than the watch and what I wore to work before driving out)
  • Eyeshadow
  • Blush
  • Laptop (stayed in my trunk)
  • Hiking boots
  • Camera (I am an amateur/sporadic photog at best, so I just used my phone to take pictures)
  • Perfume