• About

fivenineteen

~ My eclectic musings on reality…

fivenineteen

Tag Archives: pain

Reunited and it feels so good…and so painful

19 Sunday Aug 2012

Posted by fivenineteen in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

exercise, fitness, food, fundraiser, goals, gym, hockey, humor, jewelry, luncheon, muscles, pain, Silpada, training, workout

Ah yes…there actually ARE muscles in there, way down deep in my core.  And my hamstrings and my pecs…

And I’m still feeling the burn, 3 days after that workout!  Truly hilarious.  Oh wait – it’s not good for me to laugh too hard right now – my abs hurt when I do!

So what’s going on here?  Well, as mentioned last week I am committed to shifting my routine and getting back to basics with physical fitness.  Hockey is going to take a sabbatical and I’m going to use money normally budgeted for league fees and put it toward my kick ass personal trainer, B.

Who, really and truly, kicks my ass.  B first started training me back in 2009 at the gym I’ve belonged to for now nearly nine years.  I’d never worked with a personal trainer before, but I was inspired by my manager at my job at the time, who took the plunge and hired a personal trainer for himself.  And I got to thinking, hmmm…my gym had finished undergoing a major remodel, complete with brand new exercise equipment throughout.  It would be fun to learn how to use it with a professional!  I was in the process of doing Couch to 5K, a running program for beginners and felt on a wee bit of a fitness roll!

Everyone at the gym recommended B.  He’s been training there a long time and is a fixture.  But hardly with his style…no, he is all about variety and creativity with workouts, which is EXACTLY what I need.  I’d seen him working with other clients over the years so I had a general idea of his demeanor.

I enjoyed working out with him so much…we’d meet up Tuesday nights and Sunday late mornings.  Try as he might to get me to join his Sunday morning spinning class I always opted out – it was too early for me on a day of the week I cherish sleeping in.  Never once was his workout for me exactly the same – truly inspiring and impressive.

Then the economy tanked and I was out of a job.  Ah yes, summer 2009…so wonderful with personal accomplishments and yet so damn shitty with the job market.  So while I clung to my gym membership – I truly needed it to keep me sane during those unemployed months – I had to make personal, financial cutbacks and training with B was one of them.  Of course he totally understood – things like this happen all the time.

So last Thursday – after 3 years – we got back to business.  Ironically it was one of the hottest days of the year so far – highs in the mid 90s (36c).  It seemed a little odd to be heading indoors on such a beautiful evening but on the other hand, I was jazzed and motivated to get back to it.  “Let’s Rock & Roll,” as B always says before our workouts!

Planks.  UGH.  I’m wayyyy out of practice doing them, so he had me do some variations on ab crunches to get started.  I also did some step up exercises on a stool so he could gauge my balance on how well I can step without needing to push off with my lower foot.  Sad but true, after age 40 or so we as women can start to lose our sense of balance.  And I have a small handful of stories to totally prove that true – a few female friends/co-workers have taken tumbles on stairs or outside on office steps shortly after turning 40.  I too have had a few klutzy incidents – thankfully most with no witnesses (meaning, at home).

I also did some upper body work (man, that feels great to bust through the neck/shoulder tension after slaving away on a hot laptop all day) and some diagonal lunges with hand weights.  And side moves with kettlebells to target those obliques. Believe me, that hour went fast.  It was intense and I was dripping in sweat by the time we were finished.  What a great feeling!

…Until the next morning.  Oh man I was in agony, but not in a bad way.  Although changing positions while sleeping, getting out of bed and simple things like walking down stairs, sitting down on the – ahem – throne and getting out of my desk chair at work after a bit was excruciating.  I was probably walking around looking like I was severely constipated.  HA!

The plan is for us to train Thursday nights and I’ll get in the gym on my own on Sunday nights and Tuesday nights.  Starting this Tuesday, ha ha.

This weekend was all about FOOD.  Lots of great, glorious food.

One of my cousins is getting married later this fall on Catalina Island.  We had a bridal shower luncheon on Saturday in her honor, hosted by a family friend with a beautiful home in the Queen Anne neighborhood in Seattle.  Such an elegant menu as well…the soup was a chilled puree of tomato, peach, a little chicken stock, cream and fresh tarragon.  It was so unexpected and heavenly and I’m in hot pursuit of the recipe so I can post it for all of you here – simply glorious!  We also had small sandwiches, spinach Quiche, an arugula salad and a trio of small scoops of sorbets for dessert with hot coffee.

And if I thought I’d never be hungry again the next day, I actually was.  I went to visit L (my guy BFF) today, as he had finished designing and printing new business cards for my Silpada jewelry business.  I’m thrilled how the cards turned out and can’t wait for the new batch of accompanying postcards too! 

Lunch was in order and L was in a burger/sports bar mood.  On our way in the car we passed Thai Siam, a longtime, casual and fabulous Thai restaurant in Seattle’s Crown Hill neighborhood, just north of Ballard.  And they were having their annual benefit buffet, so we thought, why not?  An all-you-can-eat buffet of incredible Thai food benefitting local causes (Seattle’s Union Gospel Mission and Cancer Lifeline…that’s a no-brainer!)

My goodness Thai Siam brings back memories.  In the early 1990s when I’d finished college and was just starting out working full-time, eating out was a luxury I craved (I hardly knew how to cook save for mac & cheese and Boboli pizza).  Heck, anything beyond basic rent and utilities (and other basics like pantyhose but that was the era then) seemed a luxury.  But a mutual friend of my roommate’s raved about Thai Siam, and while it is not pricey in the general sense it was a splurge – and well worth it – on my entry-level salary.  And how wonderful to visit it again after 20+ years!  Along with live Thai music and dancing, a spontaneous barbershop quartet grabbed the microphones and sang a few songs, including Happy Birthday to a man celebrating his 21st with his family!  The waiter walked up to him with a smile and asked him, “hey, do you want a beer?”  Before he could answer his mother piped in with a flat-out “NO.”  Hilarious!

I love spontaneous weekends like this.  And I catch my breath that it’s mid August – we hold tight to summer here in Seattle for it’s often too fleeting and brief.  But when the sun shines here, there is nowhere on Earth more beautiful.

Now, where did I put my Motrin?

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

Like this:

Like Loading...

The Migraine, the Massage and the Monsoon

24 Sunday Jun 2012

Posted by fivenineteen in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

aura, car, dumbass, family, haircut, headache, job, massage, naked, pain, water

I always say that you really pay for it both before and after trying to take a few days off from work at a super busy time of the year.  As much as it’s necessary to take a break occasionally, the preparation for being away and the rush of returning and trying to catch up in a fast-moving work environment and a small (or not so small) mountain of email can take its toll. 

I feel very fortunate that I have very little to complain about with my current job.  For the last five years most of my work has been short-term consulting engagements, about a year or less in length, and I’ve really hit the jackpot with this current team.  But taking a typical vacation is not really in the cards for me.  I am only paid for hours worked (and pretty well paid, but still vacations are not paid). 

Doing short-term engagements has allowed me to zoom in and out of very different work environments and cultures and to learn a lot very rapidly – both best practices and things to avoid.  There’s an art to it – you’ve got to hit the ground running, develop rapport very quickly with your new colleagues, get your bearings on what’s happening and what needs to happen, and add value from Day One.  So, trying to carve out a week-long vacation, say, can be challenging, unless it’s negotiated right up front when interviewing for the position.  There’s a chance it might be a deal-breaker if it’s during a crucial time in the project.  And I don’t count my time off between work engagements as true vacation time, for my drive to network and land a new engagement is the noise that overshadows any attempt at really unplugging for a while and relaxing.  Perhaps I’ll get better at that the next time around!

I came back to work on Tuesday after a relaxing 4-day weekend with family in town visiting from Chicago.  Ahhh, when I am with them all is right with the world.  And when I got back to the office I had a very brief 10-second moment of bliss, and then the (absolutely expected) WHAMMO debrief of a ton of stuff that happened that I needed to catch up on – fast. 

This time of year is even more hectic.  The company’s fiscal year ends at the end of June, so everyone’s a little extra nutty trying to wrap things up, make sure budgets close out when they’re supposed to…oh, and come July, this place turns into a bowling alley.  Everyone (well, the employees that is) skips town and goes on very well-deserved vacations.  And it’s usually the contingent staff that covers.  This is the 4th business unit I’ve consulted with at this company, and this year actually marks TEN years of consulting here over the past 13 years – wow!  So I’m very, very familiar with the rhythms of business at this company and how the last half of June is a 27-ring circus.  Get stuff done before the fiscal years closes out AND before everyone goes on vacation!

By Thursday I was feeling pretty much caught up, enough to where I felt good carving out a (spontaneous) true hour-long lunch with my former office mate who now is with a different part of our work division.  I’m so glad we are keeping in touch!  We each had Chiang Mai noodle soup – absolutely delicious.  Curry does not typically agree with me (big bummer) but the curry in this soup is very light, and the flavors and spices make this one of the best lunches on the campus – love it!

Then I had a tiny flash of light dot in front of me.  Oh shit, here it comes.  A migraine.  K and I finished our lunches, hugged and walked back to our offices.  I swung by the first aid cabinet in our break room and fumbled around for some sort of pain reliever.  Sometimes if I pop something right when it hits it will dissipate fairly quickly and won’t linger.

This time I wasn’t so lucky.  But let me back up a minute here.  I am one of the lucky (tongue in cheek) few who are ‘blessed’ with occasional menstrual-related migraines.  Now don’t worry, I’m not going to get too gory in here about female stuff.  I just know that if I do get them, they’re going to be female hormone triggered.  Oh yay. Years and years ago in college when they started happening, my doctor prescribed a very mild anti-depressant.  I remember thinking that was odd…I have migraines, I’m not depressed!  But they worked. 

As the years went by I tried seeing if there were ways to avoid these types of migraines without depending upon a prescription.  I read that there are certain triggers (foods, etc) that might play a part.  Or that perhaps getting more exercise would help.  Caffeine, red wine, cheeses, chocolate…and for me, perhaps curry?  Hmmm, as good as those noodles were, perhaps I should have avoided them that particular day.  And then I remembered…I had a very small wedge of Brie for breakfast that morning.  Oops.  Those two foods in one day were probably not a good idea, and now I was paying the price.

I had a meeting with my manager right after lunch.  The “aura” part of the migraine was starting to increase and my vision was slightly blurred.  I grabbed my laptop, walked into her office and said “hey, I’m not trying to be dramatic here but I’m having a migraine episode.  So if my eyes seem a little out of focus, that’s why.  My vision is a little blurry but this should pass in about 10 or 15 minutes.”  We forged ahead with our work.  Like I wrote earlier, this is a super busy time of year.

What happens with these migraines, you’re wondering?  Well, in my case the tiny bright spot of light slowly turns into an oval or circular ring of pulsating, vibrating colors.  It gets wider and wider until it leaves my field of vision.  Then the after effects set in – a pins and needles feeling in my upper shoulders and back of the neck, the same feeling like when your foot goes to sleep.  Then, a little nausea.  And nope, closing my eyes does not shut out the aura. 

Thankfully I’ve been through this a few times and know what to expect.  And knock on wood, it’s never happened when I’m driving.  Or playing hockey.  Usually a good night’s sleep will leave me refreshed and with all symptoms gone. 

But the next day, Friday, my neck and shoulders were still feeling prickly and horribly stiff.  Wow, this episode was a doozy.  But I smiled, knowing I had a massage booked for later that night.  Relief!

Last month I had a massage for the first time in years.  And I’m going to try to get one once a month and see if this can bring some relief to my neck and shoulders which seem to have the weight of the world on them.  Turns out that in the month since my first massage with J, she is now completely mobile.  She brings her massage table, blankets, music and everything to her clients’ houses!  So hmmmm, this was going to be an interesting change.

I told her about my migraine episode the day before, and we agreed we’d spend the whole hour just working on my back, shoulders, pecs and scalp, not the whole body.  She set up her table in my living room meanwhile and then went into my powder room to wait for me to disrobe and get under the blankets.  Before doing this I laughed and said you know, this is a little weird being naked in my living room.  She laughed as well and said lots of her clients make that same comment!  And it’s true!  I live in a townhouse so all bedrooms are upstairs.  I’m rarely naked down on the main level in the living room, dining room or kitchen (but when I am there is always a guy involved, heh).  OK…anyway back on track here.

J gave a wonderful massage.  At first I had a hard time relaxing because, well, here I was naked in my living room (under blankets) on a massage table which was a first for me…and I realized that I prefer getting massages where I’m not in my home.  For awhile my mind was racing as I pondered everything in the living room, even with my eyes closed in the face cradle…did I dust that coffee table?  Man, I need a new TV.  Should I get new pillows for the sofa?  And on and on.  Finally, I was able to just breathe deeply and enjoy the massage.  J explained that our blood vessels constrict during a migraine, so the massage is a great antidote to increase blood flow back to my scalp, neck and shoulders. I felt so incredibly relaxed when she was done…and refreshed…and taller! 

Now, have I ranted enough about how bad the weather is in June in the Seattle area?  We call it “June-uary” actually.  And we joke that summer does not officially start until July 5th.  Yep, AFTER the fireworks shows on the 4th, which often have to adjust for lower altitudes, otherwise the fireworks will get lost in the thick, grey clouds.  Kind of sad, right?  Well, this June has been pretty crappy, save for a few sunny days.

I woke up yesterday, showered and headed out to the salon for a haircut.  I remember driving into the city and thinking wow, those are some angry black clouds on the horizon.  It wasn’t raining, however.

Fast forward an hour and the skies opened up.  Torrential, pouring rains…and wind.  We got over an inch of rain in about two hours, so say the news folks.  Unbelievable!  I was so relieved I had parked in the garage under the building where my hair salon is.  I had no coat and no umbrella…I would have been soaked through, not to mention ruined my freshly styled hair!

I slipped my parking validation ticket into the machine at the garage exit.  The garage had closed so there was no one around, and there is a chain type of door that raises and lowers automatically just like a garage door.  It opened as I drove up and I remember thinking I should wait until it completely opened, as I’m not the best judge of space and distance.

But when the garage chain door finished opening, it immediately starting closing!  I had a brief moment of panic…do I go for it or just wait for it to close and ring the attendant?

I floored my car and squealed out of there.  Keep in mind there is a very sharp turn immediately coming out of the garage, so I lurched forward and prayed the chain door would not hit my car on the way out.  And immediately got blasted with the heavy rain pouring down.  Man, I am such a dumbass sometimes.  The car and I got out of the garage just fine.

And while we’re on the topic of dumbass, I got home and realized I’d left my master bedroom window open for some fresh air.  This was long before the rains came pounding through.  Now I had soaked wood blinds and a flooded window sill!  Damn!!  Water drops were hanging off the wood.  I immediately grabbed a towel and carefully started mopping up what I could.  Ugh.  Thank goodness for that small wet/dry vac I picked up when L and I started the popcorn ceiling scraping project.  Who in the hell leaves a south-facing window open on a day like that?  Oh wait…that was me.  After vacuuming up what water I could from the window sill it was full again after an hour.  Geez we got soaked.

I’m so ready for a pain-free and dry week ahead!

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

Like this:

Like Loading...

Don’t Take Anything Personally

27 Sunday Nov 2011

Posted by fivenineteen in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

4 agreements, abuse, actions, book, breathe, compliment, dreams, embarrassed, emotional garbage, feedback, pain, projection, sensitive, teasing

This calls for a cup of coffee! 

And this is the second part of The Four Agreements book I’ve committed – joyously – to read and blog about over the next four weeks.  This book is compelling enough that I know it will be well broken-in and loved even after I am done with my first read through.

The author, Don Miguel Ruiz, summarizes this chapter:  “Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

Wow.  Just, WOW!

Why do we take things personally?  If someone random dude on the street yells, “hey, you stupid bitch,” without even knowing me, it’s not about me, it’s about them.  If I were to take that random mudslinging personally, then perhaps I believe I am a stupid bitch.  I might even wonder “…how does he know?  Is he clairvoyant or does everyone else out there see how stupid – and bitchy – I am?”  The minute I choose to agree with this I’ve taken the ‘poison’ as Ruiz calls it, and I’m trapped…trapped in a dream of Hell.

Why eat others’ emotional garbage?  Emotional garbage…ah, love that term too. 

Oh man, I remember getting teased a lot as a kid. Painful.  Kids can be absolutely verbally brutal to one another, don’t you think?  I’d come home in tears sobbing about this and that, crying on my Mom’s shoulder.  And I in turn picked on others I saw as ‘weaker’ than me.  I remember my Mom saying stuff like, “Just ignore them and it will go away,” or even the doozy, “Don’t take it personally.”  That’s a LOT for an 8 or 9 year old to process…when you’re young all of that playground politics IS your world and nothing else matters.

What if someone insults us, truly hurts our feelings deep down to our core?  Ruiz responds by saying, “…it is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said.  You are hurting yourself.”

So THAT’S it.  Oh, and how did I come across this book, on a side note?  Remember the “Two Surprising Ds” post I did recently?  I am really enjoying this new friendship with D, the woman I used to see ‘squatting’ in a building cafeteria where we worked – as did I.  (Consultants without official workspaces get to eek out space wherever we can!)  Thank you Michael Kors for getting us officially acquainted – she recognized me waiting in line at the store in Bellevue Square and I am so glad she said hello!

One night at a happy hour I was venting to her and a few of her friends about how I got my chops busted a little at work.  I was still fuming a bit and feeling taken down a notch or two.  Vulnerable.  I strive to be open minded, open to feedback from co-workers around me, but when it’s delivered in front of another consultant I have just met, well, that’s NOT OK in my book.  The energy in that small meeting was jacked up and just overall way off.  And I felt cut off at the knees, embarrassed, and in my defense, got, well, admittedly, defensive.  Hate to admit it, but I did.  There, I said it.  So D immediately cut to the chase and said ummm, you took it personally and oh you SO need to read this book!    

There’s something about a double whammy back at me when people tell me to not take things personally.  I get stubborn and feel like lashing out with well hell I will feel however I want to, so NEENERS.  Yeah, that’s mature, right?  It’s been a lifelong process for me to shed that, grow up, and even take things to the next level by reading this book.  Nope, it’s not about me.  Nothing is.  Not even when people get mad at me.  My truth is only my perception – no one else’s.  I let someone push my buttons and I fell off my ‘stance.’  I got defensive when someone told me to not be defensive!  Whoops.  

Now I can breathe and learn through that recent experience and let it go.  And it feels fantastic!

What about the flip side, say when someone says “you are wonderful.”  Ruiz explains:  “…they are not saying that because of you.  You know you are wonderful.  It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful.  Don’t take anything personally.  Even if someone got a gun and shot you in the head, it was nothing personal.  Even at that extreme.”

OK wow, I had not even taken it that far in my mind but alrighty!  But let’s back up to the compliment of “you are wonderful.”  What’s wrong with acknowledging a compliment like that with a genuine THANK YOU in return?  I was always taught to appreciate compliments and not brush them off.  I’ll have to keep mulling over that one.  Perhaps he means that – let me read my paragraph above again – that if we already feel that way we don’t need others to tell us?

When we take things personally, we set ourselves up to suffer.  To suffer for nothing.  Ruiz even talks about abuse: “…if you have the need to be abused you will find it easy to be abused by others.  Likewise, if you are with people who need to suffer, something in you makes you abuse them…they are asking for justification for their suffering.”

If we don’t take things personally, we will never be hurt by what other people say or do.  How freeing is that?  We are not responsible for the actions of others…we’re only responsible for ourselves.

So my goal is to really, truly incorporate this mantra into my daily living and breathing, even moreso on top of my tough lifelong journey to shed that old skin.  I know I can do it and I won’t judge or beat myself up when I slip either.  Onward!

Next week’s post:  Don’t Make Assumptions.                

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

Like this:

Like Loading...

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 119 other subscribers

Recent Posts

  • …and the World got Sucker Punched
  • tap tap tap…is this thing still on?
  • First Soup of 2016! Red Lentil and North African Spices
  • Break on Through to the Other Side…
  • Dreams…Dusted Off

4 agreements birthday bliss book ceiling change changes cookbook cooking drama dreams emotions energy equinox exercise family fitness food food processor friends friendship gluten free gym happiness health hiking hockey home projects ingredients intuitive eating jewelry job joy laptop lean eating love MAC makeup man help memories music networking new year nutrition paint passion precision nutrition preparation projects recipe relationships Seattle shopping Silpada sleep slow cooking soup South America spices stress sunshine time tired Tom Douglas townhouse transformation travel vegan walk walking weather weekend work workout workshop

Categories

  • Uncategorized

Blogroll

  • 32 Dreams
  • A Lot on Your Plate
  • Alaskagirlatheart
  • Amaryllis sillyramA
  • Belle Grove
  • Bucket List
  • Everywhere Once
  • Going Dutch
  • Lady Romp
  • Maggie's One Butt Kitchen
  • Makeup by Tiffany D
  • Makeup Geek
  • Moment Matters
  • Rogue Wave Media
  • Sybaritica
  • The Ranting Chef
  • The Walk & Talk

Archives

Blog Stats

  • 24,820 hits

Search fivenineteen

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Twitter Updates

  • Put me on the cover of Men's Health! I Need your vote! orm.la/xzKR 8 years ago
  • Go #Seahawks! #WhosGonnaWin vz.to/1gjdi5E @VerizonWireless 9 years ago
  • Go #Seahawks! #WhosGonnaWin vz.to/1gjdi5E @VerizonWireless 9 years ago
  • Love me some @RSherman_25 . That is all. 9 years ago
  • Interval training today @insidePN ...rocked! 9 years ago
Follow @five19

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • fivenineteen
    • Join 119 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • fivenineteen
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: