Tag Archives: passion

Still Shifting!

10 Sunday Aug 2014

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To say it’s been a hell of a summer would be an understatement for sure.  I feel like I’m FINALLY beginning to relax and truly savor our glorious weather a little.  Getting abruptly cut from my job back in mid May, the ensuing job search, some drama with my unemployment benefits claim, the trip to Indy which I thought would result in an FTE job at their Seattle branch and getting me off the 8-year contractor merry go round…to now land in a (contract) job which is great on paper, but not where I truly think I should be right now.

I admit I have these thoughts in my head while in meetings and getting to know my new co-workers.  Thoughts like “I’m not supposed to be here!!  I’m supposed to be at [name of company]!!”  I feel like an impostor sometimes.  A poser.  Just going through the motions.  Feeling a little restless, unsettled and off-balance.  And it’s not my co-workers’ faults at ALL.  They’re GREAT.  A very hard working, energetic and somewhat nutty team.  That works for me!   Heck, I don’t even have the same manager after just three weeks.  That’s how fast this group moves.  Oh and if you’re easily offended, stay away from the offices near mine.  That other group drops F bombs like they’re going out of style.  Not in a hostile way though.  Kind of funny.

So I’m trying hard to be positive, get engaged and learn learn learn.  That’s the typical ramping up process when you do short-term consulting engagements.  Find out where you can contribute and add value right away.  Geez, I could write a fucking book about all of this.  Guess those F bomb-dropping neighbors are rubbing off on me.  Actually no…I’ve always had a potty mouth streak.

What’s kept me grounded through my stress this summer?  The Lean Eating for Women program I officially wrapped up in July.  Good nutrition habits.  Good exercise habits. Things we learned gradually over the last 12 months.  I learned that trying to do everything new or different all at once sets us up for failure and getting overwhelmed.  I missed my workout yesterday?  Well fuck it, that means I won’t work out the rest of the week.  Ever have that “all or nothing” mindset?  Yep, me too.  Rather, in Lean Eating we start very small practicing just one habit for a couple of weeks and then add on another.  That’s why the program is a full year in length.  There’s time built in to incorporate all of what we need, when we need it.

I’ve learned about taking action rather than “wondering and worrying”.  Meaning, what can I do RIGHT NOW to set myself up for success, whether that means planning my exercise and food prep for the upcoming week, or doing something about what’s bothering me.  What did I do when I worried about being out of work?  [Believe me, when you’re out of work there’s that terror of wondering how long it’s going to be.  Is my next job offer coming tomorrow?  6 months from now?  A year?]  And that can burn a lot of cycles for sure.  I learned that sometimes all the action I could take was to make sure I had a communications plan in place for the next day, next week, etc.  I’d review my job search log (kept on a spreadsheet) and mark who I needed to contact or email to follow up on a networking call or to follow-up with a recruiter on how a phone screen went a couple of days prior.  And I’d note new contacts to reach out to, or company websites to review for their open job positions.

I “officially” dropped 36 lbs (16.3 kg) in the 12 month PN/LE program timeframe.  But I’m not done yet, my body is telling me.  People often ask me “so now that you’re ‘done,’ what do you do?”  The answer is simple:  the same damn stuff I learned to do in the 12 months prior!  Keep doing the habits, keep practicing the workouts!  I’m still in the gym 5-6 nights a week and practicing good eating and nutrition habits.  My weight has dropped another 6 lbs since, and I’m still noticing shifts in my body and how my clothes fit. So we’re down 42 lbs now (19 kg).  Stuff I bought when the clothes from last year were too loose to be effectively worn anymore are now even getting loose themselves!  WORKOUT gear is getting a little looser too.  Kind of funny to have to pull up your yoga pants between weight lifting sets…anyone handy with sewing so I can put a string tie around my waist?

But it’s not just about the number on the scale.  I haven’t just lost weight.  I’ve gained muscle tone.  I have some biceps emerging now, my lats are getting stronger and my legs are in the best shape of my life.  I can wear shorts and sleeveless tops and feel pretty toned and confident.  I’m 47, not 25, keep in mind, but I do think I’m holding up alright.

And still shifting.

Come Meet My Soul – the Journey, Part 4 of 4

16 Sunday Dec 2012

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I have to laugh a little at myself because it seems whenever I try to do a ‘mini series’ of themed posts in here I lose my weekly blogging pace.  Exhibit A:  my review of the Four Agreements book last year.  Normally this glorious Sunday blogging ritual is something I look forward to…waking up with a smile after sleeping in a bit.  Sitting down at the keyboard either totally ready and knowing what I’m going to blog about…or with zero idea and just seeing what happens when I type.  I love both scenarios actually!  There’s no need for a safety net in here.  Last weekend was recovery from mental exhaustion, and I just needed to truly chill and not do much of anything except get in the gym and enjoy some downtime and cooking. 

So, it’s good to be back here after an unexpected vacay.  It’s a steely-grey, damp Sunday morning.  Silence save for a few occasional cars out on the main road.  Funny how I can tell what the weather is like before I even look out my window every morning.  The cars sound totally different on wet asphalt vs dry.

Back in mid November I started this 4-part “come meet my soul” mini series.  Joy.  Passion.  Kindness.  Today’s theme is PEACE.

How wonderfully fitting that this peace post falls right smack in the holiday season.  It’s what we all wish for and pray for.  Sometimes it’s a hard struggle out there to imagine a world with peace.  This horrific school shooting in Connecticut late last week makes me want to cry and throw up all at the same time.  I teared up when I saw my cousin’s Facebook post that “….more parents have lost their children today.”  Those words were a kick in the stomach.  My cousin and her husband lost their son in a drowning accident in 2004.  On Father’s Day of all days.  He would have turned 10 this year.  And I saw a list of the shooting victims and their birth dates.  Children born in 2006 (2006) lost their lives.  I just don’t have any words for this.

I don’t know if we’ll ever get to a state of world peace.  But I think however we get there it’s a personal responsibility…it starts with each of us as individuals.  Every day.  What choices do we make from what life puts before us each day?  Do we go through the motions unconsciously, or perhaps with a state of anger?  Or of calm?  Of happiness?  With a hunger to change things for the better?  And how?

I’m told I have a calm, grounded presence in times of stress…and to me that is peace personified.  Honestly I am much better at ‘holding’ that stance at work rather than outside of work.  But again, I’m human.  Sometimes I get jittery and rattled when my confidence is challenged.  I think we all do though.  I’m trying to continue to practice breathing through problems…and asking for help and support when I need it. Being vulnerable when I need to be – and it’s OK.  This is far easier to do when I’m feeling – well – at peace.  Rested, fed, getting enough exercise…all the basics that fuel the best Me.  If I’m tired, cranky or had a tough day at work I’ve got very little left in my reserves to deal with much more.  Lately that’s how it’s been.  Man, actually for the last month work has been nutso.  Normally this time of year is the slow winding down before the holidays.  This year it’s been nothing but madness.  But madness in a good way.  This team continues to blow me away with how collaborative and helpful and respectful we are to one another while fighting the fiercest of fires.  It’s a true ensemble cast without backstabbing or finger-pointing or not saying ‘that’s not my job,’ when we all need to put other priorities aside and focus on fixing the most burning ones.  When this work engagement wraps up for me next month (by design), they’re going to be a tough act to follow.

So peace to me means being calm.  Bringing a state of serenity and grace to those around me.  Which in turn brings warmth…and love.

And this weekend has been a glorious self-refueling to get back to that center of peace.  Sleep.  Exercise. Excitement…I finally broke the 30 minute barrier in my 5000m rowing machine sessions – hit 29:26 – woohoo!  And celebrating by making a pot of hot and sour soup from scratch…topped with fresh crabmeat!  Getting the Christmas tree decorated and figuring out what last-minute shopping I still need to do and vowing not to be in the mall on Christmas Eve like I was last year, eesh.  I love weekends where there’s a list of stuff to do but no rush to do them.  This is the time I need to mentally reset.  I have 3 social evening events in the city this week and need to figure out how to make more hours in the day, ha ha!  Work is still going to be intense with longer hours required of all of us. 

So today is a day of recharging and refreshing.  Gearing up for a whirlwind, glorious week ahead.  Book club at a wine cafe.  A concert at Benaroya Hall – what a treasured jewel right smack in the heart of downtown Seattle.  And a major birthday celebration for a wonderful friend of mine to cap off the week in style.  I simply can’t wait!

Come Meet My Soul – the Journey, part 3

02 Sunday Dec 2012

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This is the 3rd of a 4-part series of posts to explore more about the 4 qualities that really are truly, uniquely me.  Last week’s post was all about PASSION…the fuel, fire, enthusiasm and zest for life and whatever I happen to be doing at the moment…or thinking about doing!

Now we’re at KINDNESS.  And I thought, well, why not check the dictionary – I think I know what it means, but what does it mean?  The word ‘kind’ means “of a sympathetic or helpful nature.”  And kindness is “the quality or state of being kind.” 

I remember when this word ‘popped’ for me in this part of our workshop exercise.  I had a mini freak-out moment.  Well, not really, but my stomach flipped a little.  But then I took a deep breath…and I knew it popped for a reason.  Yes, this is truly one of my 4 noble qualities.  This IS one of 4 things that fuels me and that I have boundless, endless amounts of – to share with the whole world and to make the world a better place.

I think I had that freak-out moment because it triggered some insecurities inside me.  Some see kindness as a weakness.  And I didn’t want to be thought of as weak.  I don’t ever want to be.  I actually had flashbacks of my childhood.  I got teased a lot for being so nice.  Genuinely nice!  Man, kids are so cruel to one another sometimes, don’t you think? 

Kindness is anything but weak.  I try to practice kindness with a good dose of healthy boundaries.  Sometimes the kind thing to do is to walk away from a bad situation and not engage further in the ‘poison.’  Or to not say anything at all – avoiding cattiness and gossip. But I’m not always happy, nice, cheerful and kind all the time.  Read other posts in here and you’ll know this.  I’m human and not a robot.  I have a bad temper, but I’ve learned to harness it and breathe through it – most of the time.  I’ve gone through low points of despair and depression – feeling broken and hopeless.  Lonely.  Misunderstood.  Angry.  But I do always come back to center.

However, I do go into new situations brimming with kindness and positivity (these two words are pretty much inseparable in my world).  This project IS going to be successful.  I WILL like that person I’m going to be introduced to and they’ll like me too.  I WILL enjoy and savor that new recipe…or that new restaurant I’m going to try.  That magazine I’m going to read.  That new exercise routine.  Know that glass half empty vs half full saying?  Well, for me the glass overflows with happiness.  I can’t remember exactly where I read or heard this, but there was some lady explaining how when she first meets people, her default is she DOESN’T like them.  That person has to ‘prove’ themselves through their personality and their behavior that she is ‘worthy’ of liking them.  All I can say to that is BARF.  UGH.  PUKE.  That’s soooo anathema to how I’m wired.  So maybe that example, explaining the opposite of how I’m wired, will make it more clear how I AM. 

So…what if that person I’m introduced to ends up being a total jerk – mean, angry, bigoted, ignorant?  It depends.  If it’s someone I’m talking to at a party and I’m not finding any common ground for us to connect with (the weather is always a last gasp attempt at conversation), well, the kind thing to do is to listen to learn.  Find out what makes this person tick!  Our default is to immediately decide whether we agree or disagree with what the other person is saying.  It takes practice to challenge that and to actually listen.  [Lord knows this came out on turbo overload during the elections!]  Or, the kind thing to do might be to excuse myself to the ladies room, powder my nose, and strike up conversation with someone else!

If it’s someone I’m working with, that’s a whole other challenge.  One of my strengths is developing great rapport and relationships with my co-workers.  I do mostly short-term consulting engagements which typically last a year or less.  So I’m constantly wrapping up something, finding another work assignment, and pretty much starting all over, working with completely different people, a completely different project and a completely different work environment paradigm if you will.  But this is a well-developed muscle within me – tootin’ my horn just a little here.  If I’m not hitting it off well with someone on a new team, I put it in perspective.  How much will I be working with this person?  How are they perceived by others on the team…is he/she in a leadership role, or one that wields a lot of influence otherwise?  Is he/she respected by others?  How long am I even going to be on this work assignment to want to invest my valuable energy ‘winning this person over’?  If it’s relatively short, I’m not going to sweat it.

Eeeking out any form of common ground with someone I don’t naturally resonate with can be very challenging.  But again, I try to listen to learn.  And I remember that, especially with men, that their opinions are everything to them.  If a man unloads his opinions on me and I vehemently disagree with every single one, well, I breathe and remember that he’s sharing them with me because he trusts me.  I’ve made it a ‘safe place’ for him to communicate.  That’s me being kind.

Not sure if this is making any sense.  That’s OK – this is my outlet for random streams of consciousness.  I love the freedom in here…and I hope you’re enjoying this journey as much as I am!

Next post:  PEACE

Come Meet My Soul – the Journey, Part 2

24 Saturday Nov 2012

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Last week I started a 4-part series of posts to explore more about the 4 qualities that really are truly, uniquely me. 

It’s the most delicious of Saturdays today.  The sun is peeking through the grey skies and slowly drying out the sogginess that was most of this week.  My Dad, brothers and I took Mom out to dinner on Monday for her birthday, had another amazing meetup with the book club Tuesday night and Thursday was a small, intimate Thanksgiving dinner with our Grandmother (age 96 1/2)!  Oh, and lots of intense work with the team during the day.  I’m relishing the memories of the week and just basking in feeling great.  Like many workplaces, we were closed Thursday and Friday.  Today feels like Sunday – but it’s not!  There’s one more day of relaxation to savor.  And boy did I need it!

While I love to shop, I’m very anti-Black Friday.  It’s beyond ridiculous.  I make a conscious point to do zero holiday shopping that day – not even online – and do something completely different.  On the rare occasion the weather is good, I’ve actually gone hiking.  Yesterday it was hitting the gym – hard.  I’m really getting into the groove of the rowing machine – it’s an amazing workout.  And I’m thisclose to breaking the 30 minute barrier on a 5000m row – yesterday my time was 30:44!  Oooh, maybe tomorrow is the day!

Now…where were we?  Oh yeah:  PASSION.  Yes…passion is yet another essential fuel that feeds me.  It’s defined as “intense enthusiasm.”  Yes, yes and YES!  Passion is giving everything you’ve got into what you’re doing or thinking about doing.  Being in the moment and savoring it.  Relishing it.  Enjoying it.  Doing your best.  It’s making a conscious choice to do something – or not – and to do whatever it is with passion.

And for me that can mean injecting a little humor into whatever it is.  Even mundane tasks like scrubbing the shower tile?  I love writing words with the scrubbing bubbles spray before cleaning.  Or making sudsy happy faces.  At the grocery store I marvel over all the wonderful choices we have, whether it’s produce, oils, cheese or flour. Even paper towels!

I shudder at going through the motions of life on auto-pilot.  Even crappy, normal things like bad weather, bad traffic…well, I just make sure there’s great music on in the car.  And try to eek out any tiny atom of humor in the situation.  In the shower I take in the scent of my favorite shower gel and really FEEL it on my body.  I feel my curves and notice my skin.  I remind myself that while I’m battling a few extra pounds, my body is curvy, strong and beautiful.  And I step out of the shower transformed!! I’m unstoppable!

When I play hockey I take in that first rush of cold air when I walk into the rink, anticipating the excitement ahead.  The satisfaction of suiting up and lacing up my skates just so.  The funny locker room banter with teammates.  The joy of setting up a great play.  The feeling out there on the ice – there’s nothing quite like it.

My dear friend T’s car license plate is PASSION.  Ah, that word makes me light up whenever I say it.  I can’t say it without smiling!

Passion can be loud, boisterous and brash…but also quiet, yet still energetic.  It’s a slow burning, steady pilot light (there’s that term again like last week!) that fuels me.  Without it we might as well fold up the tent and go home!

Now it’s time to get outside and go on a passionate walk between rainstorms, and make a passionate trip to the grocery store!

Next post: KINDNESS

An APB on my Inner Queen

04 Sunday Nov 2012

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It’s an extra blissful Sunday morning…one of my favorite times of the year!  We’ve fallen back.  That glorious extra hour gift from the end of Daylight Savings Time.  What are you doing with YOURS?

I was at the salon yesterday getting my highlights touched up.  H has been doing my hair color for over 20 years – she’s awesome and I feel like we’ve grown up together because we’re about the same age.  I almost fell out of my chair when she mentioned her daughter turned NINETEEN on Halloween.  Wow – I remember when H was pregnant with her!  So she asked what I was up to this weekend…any big plans?  It’s always fun having some place to go out with your hair all freshly colored and styled.  But nope – not last night.  Just a run to the grocery store and veging out browsing a new cookbook, talking with my Mom on the phone, watching the latest Real Housewives of Miami episode (thank you, DVR)…I’m shamelessly addicted to each franchise of The Real Housewives – I never get tired of their catty drama…these ladies kill me! And speaking of TV, I’m feeling the hunger and emptiness of no NHL hockey (stupid lockout)…normally this time of year the season would be in full swing and I’d have 9 or 10 channels of hockey to choose from.  This past week they canceled the annual Winter Classic.  This is not good, fellow hockey fans.  As a friend of mine posted on Facebook, “It’s a little like when you know you’ve hurt your leg, but having them cancel the Winter Classic is like seeing the bone poking out.”  Dammit, people, let’s make a deal already and get our boys back on the ice!  (The dispute is over the revenue sharing split between the NHL and the players’ union).  Well, if things keep going as they have been, they’ll have a blast figuring out how to split ZERO.  Oh, I try to remain optimistic but if there’s no hockey this season it’s gonna be one long, empty winter.  And spring.

So not really having any major plans this weekend was just fine with me.  Downtime gives me the fuel I need to recharge.  This upcoming week is going to be super busy and crescendo-ing all the way through next weekend, and I’m feeling all tingly just thinking about it!

Back in late April I went to a weekend-long transformational workshop for women which focuses on understanding (and celebrating) men and their behavior.  In fact, the name of the workshop is Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women!  Wow!  Kind of a different way to look at that whole dealio, right?  It has completely changed my perspective of men and melted away lots of past resentments and misunderstandings. I’ve forgiven myself for my past actions which have (unintentionally) damaged relationships with men in my life – family, co-workers, platonic friendships and men I’ve dated and had relationships with. I didn’t know what I didn’t know! The women I’ve met in these workshops tell me their relationships with their husbands and sons have bolted to a whole other level.  This coursework also saves marriages!  Wow!

Now, this doesn’t mean I still don’t occasionally get frustrated or puzzled or even angered.  And it doesn’t make excuses for anyone.  It’s kind of like getting a new set of glasses and forgetting to put them on – it’s easy to fall back into old habits of reacting and responding certain ways or making incorrect assumptions.  That’s OK.  I have the rest of my life to learn, practice and grow as I apply what I’ve learned every day!  Men have VERY good reasons for why they do what they do (or don’t do), and most often the reason is NOT what we as women might think it is!  It’s truly astonishing how differently we are wired! 

I’m getting a double-shot bonus of TWO buckets of new goodness which build upon the CMSW workshop from last spring.  First of all, Alison A. Armstrong, the champion behind this amazing material, has just published a new e-book called The Queen’s Code.  It’s not your typical book!  It’s actually a comprehensive, online experience.  Each week she releases a new chapter to read and download onto your device of choice.  The website allows you to post a short video with a question about the chapter contents (totally optional of course), and fellow subscribers can vote on their favorite questions.  Then, Alison does a ‘weekly wrap up,’ where she posts her own video, responding to the questions which received the most votes.  I’ve never experienced anything like this and if you are the slightest bit intrigued I highly recommend checking the website out and joining the conversation.  The book and online experience is just $14.95.  [I’m not affiliated with the company at all – just a huge fan!]

I also joined a book club which meets every week to discuss the latest chapter. We are meeting at Wine Tea Chocolate in Seattle’s Fremont neighborhood. Not only is this a great group to gather with, but also fun for me to get my ‘city fix’ and out of the suburbs.  And we’re blessed to have a guy joining our conversation as well – nothing better than getting things validated straight from the male point of view!

AND, next weekend I will be joining a second weekend-long workshop which builds upon what I learned last April.  It’s called Celebrating Women:  Regarding Ecstasy and Power.  Or “The Queen Course.”  I’ve been counting the weeks and months waiting in anticipation for next weekend…and it’s almost here!  Why is this course I signed up for months ago also now right in the middle of the Queen’s Code e-book chapters and our book club?  There are no accidents.  It’s time for me to really look deep within myself and learn how to better nurture myself.  Improve my own, unique operating manual.  It’s kind of funny trying to write about something I’m going to do when I don’t really even know what’s going to happen. 

I just know it’s going to be a fabulous, growing experience.

…and another Thank You, Jude Cole (Take 2)

31 Wednesday Oct 2012

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How come my favorite singer/songwriter’s music is so dang hard for me to blog about?  Man, I re-read my post from last Sunday and it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface.  Normally when I post it’s like a stream of passionate consciousness – done in one take.  That last post…well, I went back and tweaked a few things.  It’s rare I find myself at a loss for words! So yeah, that last post is alright but I’m still not completely happy with it.  So, I thought…why not just start a new one? 

I think this is the first time in over 20 years of loving Jude’s music that I’ve tried writing down how much it means to me.  And I stumble and struggle to find the right words.  When talent this extraordinary stirs your soul and music this fantastic is so timeless, saying how much I love and appreciate it doesn’t seem like enough.

A View from 3rd Street and Start the Car (two of his five solo albums) are now happily back in my car’s CD player.  So what if it’s rainy and blustery outside, traffic sucks and is even worse with some stoplight outages, slowing everything to an even more painful crawl?  I’ve got two of THE best CDs of all time cranked and I’m smiling and singing along shamelessly.  Fellow commuters, don’t be jealous!

I’ve read that when you listen to 3rd Street that “you don’t hear a single.”  Never heard of that expression before but I totally get it.  It means that EVERY track is stupendous; there isn’t just one or two that sound made for radio play and everything else is filler and skippable.  How many CDs are in your collection where you “hear no singles?”  I bet not many.

When I listen to these songs again I’m inspired to get back to playing the piano.  Maybe learning how to play guitar finger-style, rather than just the few chords I can clunkily strum.  I remember how I felt as an early/mid 20-something when I heard these songs for the first time.  And I smile at how wonderful they still sound today through all I’ve gone through in life.  His rich, creative harmonies.  His lyrics that have celebrated my highest of highs and carried me through my most angst-ridden lowest of lows.

Rise over the darkness / sail above the clouds / faith keep me from falling / and I swear I won’t look down.  That’s from Right There Now from Start the Car. My God how those lyrics have been my gut-wrenching prayer countless times, sung at the top of my lungs, choking through sobs with tears streaming down my face.  And yet also with jubilation, celebrating getting through that pain.

And – squee!! – I stumbled upon a Jude Cole Facebook group.  An unoffical fan site – it just was set up for people who love his music.  Wow, I’ve found My People who GET this passion for this incredible talent!!

And thanks to the magic of YouTube I found a few gems – a couple of videos from back in the day – PLUS (major bonus) some live, acoustical versions of his songs.  OK wow.  A talented singer/song-writer who sounds just as amazing LIVE as he does in his albums – dear God, I think I can die happy now. 

Pardon my gushing, but here we go:

Baby, It’s Tonight video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pavmG-YKLM (from 3rd Street).  Ah, the memories. 

Time for Letting go video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyDFfVMTGW0&feature=related   I honestly had not seen this video until just recently – the song is GORGEOUS.  And like one of the commenters posted, HIGH 5 if you’re still listening to this song.

Holy crap this is beyond amazing – Baby It’s Tonight (acoustical): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8ODFMRJsMw

And lastly (for now), his acoustical performance of Tell the Truth on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKqD3U3CKb8&feature=relmfu

Thank You, Jude Cole

28 Sunday Oct 2012

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Is it possible in all of my 200-some posts that I have yet to devote one to music?  It likely is!

Where do I begin when it comes to music?  What a haven and solace it is.  Don’t we all have songs that trigger boatloads of memories…the ones whenever you hear them you remember EXACTLY what you were doing and who you were with the first time you heard them.  You sing along and know every lyric.

I started taking piano lessons at age 5 and continued through age 15.  Mostly classical with a little jazz thrown in.   Choir (all kinds from chamber, renaissance and vocal jazz) was a huge part of my high school and college life.  Lots of my time in school was actually spent outside of the classroom performing and touring with various choirs…which was just as educational to me as sitting in a lecture hall or with my nose in a book studying.  After college I joined a church handbell choir and stayed with the group for 15 years!  What a joy it is to make music in an ensemble – and share it with an audience.  Our tour through Hungary, Croatia, Slovenia and Italy in the summer of 2001 was incredible!

Sometimes people ask me who my favorite group is or what kind of music I like.  As with lots of things, my tastes are very eclectic.  It’s hard for me to name just one group or one kind of music.  Shuffle through my iPod and you’ll find everything from Bach to Lynyrd Skynyrd to Carpenters to The Who to AC/DC to Kylie Minogue, plus lots of dance/electronic music (great for workouts). I’m a huge fan of c89.5 radio here in Seattle (a high school student-run station)…and I’m probably decades out of their target demographic but who cares.

So who’s my favorite group of all time? The Police and INXS (see, I really can’t just name one).  And I’m proudly dating myself with those answers – yes, I came of age in the 1980s.  In high school, The Police were da bomb. Their music was everywhere. I literally wore out two copies of Ghost in the Machine (on cassette tape). I saw them in concert in 1983 – my first EVER live concert (at the relatively late age of 16 compared to lots of my friends).  30 years later I still have a huge crush on Sting.

Later in college I discovered INXS.  Michael Hutchence (their lead singer) could do no wrong in my book.  The man practically oozed sex with his stage presence and that sultry, husky voice.  Many a wild college party had INXS blaring in the background.  And really late one night in 1997 as I was moving to a new apartment and on my 3rd trip hauling boxes of stuff in my car, I heard on the radio that he had committed suicide.  I about cried.  What a tragedy!  What a loss!

As I finished college and started my working career I remember thinking to myself…what kinds of music will be hot in the 1990s and beyond?  What kinds will I like – and not like?  What music will be in my adulthood soundtrack?

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to one of THE most talented and most criminally underrated singer/songwriters in modern history:  Jude Cole.  There are a lot of great singers out there, but those few who also write their material get HUGE props from me.

How to describe his music?  Man, that’s a tough one.  It just rings and resonates so deeply in me down to my toes that it’s hard to put words to the feelings. Let me take a stab at it:  Rock shot through with a touch of blues.  Raw emotion and energy.  You hear that mid-western ‘down to earth-ness.’ Grit along with slick, polished production.  Some have categorized his music as “adult contemporary” which totally misses the mark.  “This is no syrup-y Richard Marx clone,” quips a music reviewer on Amazon.com.  Spot on true!

In 1990 A View from 3rd Street, his second album, was released.  From this sprang two top 40 hits:  Baby, it’s Tonight and Time for Letting Go.  Baby, It’s Tonight has more of a pop, upbeat vibe, while Time for Letting Go is slower mid-tempo – and GORGEOUS.  These are probably my two favorites from that album along with Hallowed Ground. But all 10 songs on this album are amazing – there are no filler tracks.  And yes, this was yet another cassette tape I wore out back in the day.

1990 – oh man.  Back then I was 23 and sharing a dumpy 2 bedroom apartment in Seattle with a great friend from high school and college.  We were both trying to carve out our places in the world, just getting our careers underway.  We had a killer view of Gasworks Park, Lake Union and downtown Seattle, yet our apartment had no dishwasher or garbage disposal.  I remember watching MTV with her on our teeny little TV and hearing Jude’s music for the first time – WOW.

Now when I listen to this CD today (and sing along loud and proud), I am STUNNED that it’s 22 years old!  The tracks are timeless. What a talent with that golden, rich tenor voice.  Go find the videos on YouTube and you’ll see they’re now a little dated but hey, it was 1990.  But what never gets old is the Jude eye candy. Those warm brown eyes, that sexy cleft chin and stubble and the way he plays his guitar and that all-knowing little smirk he does at the end of some of his videos and…

…is it warm in here?

So what happened?  The guy sadly pretty much dropped out of radio play altogether.  Meanwhile his last CD, Falling Home, was released in 2000.  [Raining on the Moon is my favorite song from that one as a side note.]  And since then – ?  Well, from what I have read online he manages the group Lifehouse.  Props for staying in the music industry, but man oh man, why did this brilliant, handsome song-writing genius not become a MEGA star with tons more albums of his own?  I honestly don’t know.  But I have a feeling the massive steamroller called grunge which bulldozed through the music industry starting around 1991-1992 probably had a lot to do with it.  Casualties everywhere if you were not a part of that scene.

Pick up any grunge-era CD from Nirvana, Alice and Chains or Pearl Jam and presto – you hear 1990s grunge.  Which had its time and place.

But play any Jude Cole CD…and it’s timeless.  Thank you, Jude.  Your music is the soundtrack of my adulthood.

Back Home…with (New) Home Cookin’…

28 Saturday Jul 2012

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On Monday night I arrived back home after a stupendously glorious 5 days in Kansas City, MO!  More about that trip in tomorrow’s post!  Oh man, hot weather, sunshine, lots of great friends and bling (and, ahem, hot cowboys)…umm…yes that’s for tomorrow’s posting goodness.

I’ve been in a whirly whirlwind since getting back home.  Had such a great time, but I missed a good, home-cooked meal…as much as the food on the road was amazing.  This past week back at work has been quick pasta-and-pesto dinners, exhausted, at home. 

So today I wanted to not only REALLY cook something fun at home, but also try something local and new.

Enter The Pike Place Market Cookbook, which I picked up on Amazon a few days before leaving town.  And here it was in my mailbox when I got home!  This cookbook was published in 2003 and while some of the merchants and vendors have come and gone since this book came out, the spirit, energy and passion of the Pike Place Market is as strong as ever.  And why not try a new recipe with something that rings of “home”?

Garlic fans, unite!  This is a delicious recipe for Chicken Adobo.  Silly me I thought ‘adobo’ meant American southwest style food.  Nope!  This is Filipino style and you’ll want to soak up every last bit of the sauce with your rice or just a good old spoon!  The pic in this post is of the chicken basking in the sensational marinade after several hours in the fridge and just before sautéing it.  No, it wasn’t cooking on the stove top in a Ziploc bag…horrors!

Serves 4-6 as an entrée, or 6-8 as a side dish.  ** Requires marinating **

  • 1/2 C Philippine coconut vinegar or distilled white vinegar
  • 1/2 C Philippine soy sauce or Japanese soy sauce
  • 1/2 tsp garlic salt
  • 3 bay leaves
  • 1/2 tsp finely ground black pepper
  • Kosher salt to taste
  • 3 or 4 cloves garlic, crushed, PLUS 2-3 T minced garlic
  • 2 lbs chicken parts (legs, thighs, or breasts with ribs)
  • 2-3 T peanut or corn oil

In a large bowl or resealable plastic bag, combine vinegar, soy sauce, garlic salt, bay leaves, pepper, salt and the 3 or 4 crushed garlic cloves.  Add chicken parts and marinate in refrigerator several hours or (preferably) overnight.

Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and add 1 T of the oil.  When hot, add the 2 or 3 T minced garlic and stir-fry until lightly browned.  Remove fried garlic and reserve.

Add the remaining 1 or 2 T of oil to skillet over medium heat.  Remove chicken from marinade and pat dry, reserving marinade.  Add chicken parts to skillet and cook 10 to 20 minutes, or until well browned on all sides and completely cooked through.  The final cooking time will depend on the types of chicken parts you choose. (If using large chicken breasts, you can cover the pan to speed the cooking process.)  Remove chicken parts to a clean platter and set aside.

Slowly add reserved marinade to pan drippings to make gravy, stirring constantly and scraping up the bits on bottom of pan.  Once all the marinade has been added, reduce sauce to the desired consistency.  Add chicken to gravy, stir thoroughly and heat through.

To serve, divide chicken and gravy among dinner plates, then garnish with fried garlic.

Really try to use peanut oil in this recipe…it has wonderful flavor, is super healthy and is a nice alterative from olive oil!

Buon appetito!

Onward to North Africa…in a Bowl!

30 Saturday Jun 2012

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It was a rather kooky wrap up to the workweek this week.  But not at all surprising given it’s my company’s end of fiscal year at the end of June.  Combine that with the 4th of July falling smack in the middle of next week, most everyone plans to get the hell out of town the entire week, plus a weekend on either side.  So lots of scrambling.

Today was spent doing a lot of maintenance in preparation for the upcoming “holiday” week.  I’ll have more on that tomorrow.  I dug deep in my pantry before setting out to run errands looking for yet another new soup recipe, in an older cookbook I haven’t opened in a while.

Yes, I use part of my pantry for cookbook storage.  Someday I will have my dream kitchen with a built-in bookshelf of sorts to hold my cherished cookbooks.  For now they are both in the upper shelves of my pantry and in a portion of a kitchen countertop.

I knew I wanted to whip up a hot and spicy batch of soup today.  We’re still in that icky, rainy, cloudy, chilly-but-sometimes-humid lame-o Seattle weather which is so typical for late June.  Psst:  are you planning to visit Seattle?  We are most welcome to have you at any time…but you’ll be far happier doing it in late July than right now – for real!

So I blew the dust off another cookbook I hadn’t thumbed through in a while:  Mediterranean Hot.  It’s by Aglaia Kremezi.  Wow, this book was published in 1996!  It’s so clear how somewhat dated a book like this is – for example, in the mail-order resources section there are no websites posted – just the names of merchants and their phone numbers.  How the times change!

The recipes, however, are timeless.  They go far, far back in time – some even for centuries, even.  The author provides a wonderful introduction to this book describing the peoples of the Mediterranean region, the seasonings and spices and how pretty much WARS WERE FOUGHT over spices.  Fascinating!

I chose a North African style of soup for tonight’s experiment, and noted how far less chopping and prep time would be needed compared to the other soups I’ve prepared these past few weeks.  There were a few things I took liberty with right off the bat, for both planned and unplanned reasons.  Read on for more.

Spicy North African Soup with Capers – Serves 6

  • 1/4 C olive oil
  • 1 T minced garlic
  • 1 1/2 tsp freshly ground coriander seeds
  • 1 T freshly ground caraway seeds
  • 1 tsp Harissa
  • 1 tsp Aleppo pepper or red pepper flakes
  • 1 T tomato paste
  • 1/4 C fine Semolina flour
  • 1/3 C coarse bulgur
  • 3-4 T fresh lemon juice
  • 1/2 C capers preserved in salt, rinsed very well under running water
  • 1 preserved lemon with Hot Paprika, rinsed and cut into fine julienne (more on this at the end of this post – it’s optional and I did not use it)
  • Salt, to taste
  • 4 T chopped cilantro or parsley

Mix the olive oil with the garlic, coriander, caraway, harissa and Aleppo pepper (or pepper flakes) in a saucepan.  Place over medium heat and stir to warm, without letting anything burn.  Add the tomato paste and 4-5 cups of water.

Bring to a boil and add the semolina and bulgur, stirring constantly.  Simmer for 10 minutes and then add the lemon juice, capers and preserved lemon.  Taste and season with salt if desired or some more preserved lemon.

Serve very warm, sprinkled with cilantro or parsley.

Fivenineteen notes: The aroma of this soup is heavenly…and SO different from the South American-style soups I’ve been cooking lately.  The coriander seeds and caraway seeds add a unique, punchy scent to this soup.  [Side note:  at risk of sounding like a broken record…PLEASE do the “smell test” with your spices to make sure they are fresh and pungent before adding to this or any recipe.  The scent of my just-purchased coriander and caraway is heads and shoulders above the lame blandness my older jars had.]

I did not have any Aleppo pepper or Harissa on hand.  I since have ordered some thanks to the nice people at Dean & Deluca. Red pepper flakes are an easy sub for Aleppo pepper, but the Harissa recipe (hot Tunisian chile paste) seemed a bit more involved.  I searched online and learned that an ordinary chile paste was a good substitute.

Although I discovered the lone paste I had on hand was a Thai red curry paste.  Oops.  I was a little worried about that when I got home…and I discovered this while the soup was under way and I was a bit into a large glass of Pinot Gris (heh), so I knew heading back out to grab chile paste at a grocery store was not a good idea. It turned out great with no major flavor conflicts!

Semolina flour:  this is the base for your handmade or machine-made pastas.  Lessons learned – I would add this very gradually while whisking it constantly into the soup instead of dumping it all in at once and then the bulgur on top and then attempting to mix.  The Semolina became very lumpy immediately (hmm, just like when making gravy?) and it was super hard to whisk and separate into the broth after the fact.

This is a vegetarian soup.  I opted to not make it 100% vegetarian by substituting one of the 5 cups of water with a cup of chicken stock.

Enjoy…buon appetito!  And if you are still curious about the preserved lemon recipe (as I am I – I’ve yet to try it), here it is:

Preserved Lemons with Hot Paprika – makes 1 Quart

  • 1 1/2 lbs small lemons
  • about 1/4 C coarse sea salt
  • 2-3 T hot paprika, preferably Hungarian
  • 1/2 tsp turmeric
  • Juice of 4-5 lemons
  • About 1/3 C olive oil

With a very sharp knife, cut the lemons into quarters lengthwise without detaching the pieces completely at the stem end.  Sprinkle salt and a little paprika inside each lemon and place in a 1-quart jar.  Press down on the lemons to fit as many in the jar as possible.  Refrigerate 2-3 days.  The lemons will give off a lot of juice.

Press the lemons in the jar to extract as much juice as possible.  Sprinkle with the turmeric and add more lemon juice to cover the lemons.  Top with 1 inch of olive oil, close the jar, and keep in the refrigerator for 4 weeks until using.

To use, remove the lemons you need, wash under running water, drizzle with olive oil and serve or use as you wish.

Even More Soup! Fish Chowder with Fresh Fava Beans

23 Saturday Jun 2012

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…OK, I admit right off the bat I didn’t use Fava beans in my version (*ducks behind the sofa*), but this still is some GOOD STUFF in a bowl.  And I smile and remember my hilarious (and Danish) co-worker’s Facebook comment that I’m turning into the “Soup Master.”  Well, I humbly am not but I appreciate her compliment and humor (she’s a great friend too).  I am just a (middle-aged) girl in the Seattle suburbs with a passion for making soups from scratch.  Just executing/attempting on other’s recipes and not coming up with my own, save for what I ad lib and substitute where needed.  And having a blast along the way.

Today (Saturday) was one of those days where a big batch of soup was the perfect antidote to a tough end of the week.  I’ll save the recap for tomorrow’s post, however.  It did involve an extremely rainy day and a change into illegal, ripped-up leggings once I got home, just as a preview.

Let’s get down to the good stuff:  Chupe de Pescado con Habas Verdes (Fish chowder with fresh Fava beans)  Serves 6.

  • 2 T olive oil
  • 1 tsp ground annatto or sweet paprika
  • 1 medium-sized onion, minced (about 1 cup)
  • 3 cloves garlic, mashed into a paste with 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp white pepper
  • 2 medium-sized ripe but firm tomatoes (about 10 oz), peeled, seeded and chopped
  • 1 T tomato paste
  • 1 T fresh mirasol pepper puree, store-bought or homemade
  • 2 T plus 1/4 C minced fresh cilantro leaves
  • 1/2 tsp dried oregano, crumbled
  • 1/2 tsp ground cumin
  • 1/4 tsp sugar
  • 3 C fish stock or chicken broth
  • 1/4 C long-grain rice
  • 4 medium-sized all-purpose potatoes, peeled and sliced 1″ thick
  • 1 1/2 lb firm white-fleshed fish fillets such as sea bass, monkfish, catfish or halibut, cut into 6 pieces
  • 3/4 C shelled fava beans, blanched and peeled, or fresh peas
  • 2 ears corn, each cut into 3 pieces, or 1 C fresh corn kernels
  • 5 oz fresh goat cheese
  • 1 C milk, or more if needed
  • 1 large egg (optional), lightly beaten
  • 8 oz large shrimp, peeled and deveined

In a large, heavy saucepan (I used a 6-quart Calphalon pan, wider than it’s tall), heat the oil over medium heat. Stir in the annatto/paprika, onion, garlic paste, tomatoes, tomato paste, pepper puree, 2 T of the cilantro, oregano, cumin and sugar.  Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until the tomatoes have softened and the mixture is like a thick sauce, about 20 minutes.  Add a little water while the tomatoes are cooking if the mixture begins to get dry.  Add the fish stock and simmer for 15 minutes.  The soup can be prepared ahead up to this point.  Let cool, cover and refrigerate up to overnight.

To finish, bring the soup back to a boil, add the rice and potatoes, and cook for 15 minutes.  Add the fish, fava beans and corn and simmer for 8 minutes.  Add the cheese and milk and cook, stirring constantly, until the cheese has melted and the milk has heated through.  The soup should have the consistency of heavy cream; add more milk or water if it is too thick. (Keep in mind that potato-based soups thicken as they stand.) Taste for salt and white pepper.  If using the egg, add in a stream and stir until it forms strands.  Just before serving, stir in the shrimp and cook for a couple of minutes, until they turn pink and begin to curl.

To serve, in each soup plate place 1 piece of fish, a couple of shrimp, 3 or 4 potato slices, and 1 piece of corn (if using ears of corn). Ladle the chowder over these, sprinkle each plate with some of the remaining 1/4 C cilantro, and serve immediately.

Fivenineteen notes:  Wow, this is a delicious chowder!  And while I like to first make new recipes exactly as they’re written, I took a few liberties right off the bat with this one due to – admittedly – some laziness.

I could not find Fava beans at my nearby QFC (grocery store).  So I decided to just go with the frozen peas I knew I had in the freezer and let them thaw out a bit before adding to the chowder. 

I used 3 potatoes instead of 4.  For some reason, the 4th one I peeled tonight to get sliced up was an oddly weird and pale shade and full of too many moldy spots after peeling.  Just a flukey thing, so into the trash it went.  I figured it was worth the risk of too few potatoes versus having one that was not up to par.

The Mirasaol pepper puree?  I didn’t feel like making it from scratch (maybe I’m still gun shy thanks to my leaky blender, heh)  and could not find it in the grocery store either.  I’d decided to substitute my favorite hot cayenne pepper sauce made by Trappeys.  But I’m glad I picked up a backup plan of a hot Mexican hot sauce at the grocery store just in case, because when I got home, I noticed my trusty bottle of Trappey’s was near-empty and greyish red.  Not the happy, vibrant color it usually is.  I took a tiny taste of it on my finger and yep, it’s gone stale.  It’s great stuff and I’ve placed an online order to get restocked meanwhile, as it’s no longer at my nearby QFC.  Be SURE to find a good, hot cayenne or Habanero pepper sauce for this chowder if you are opting not to make the Mirasol pepper puree from scratch!

The aroma of this chowder is heavenly.  And I opted for a seafood stock (rather than using chicken broth) from Bar Harbor Foods.  I appreciated that it was all-natural…and at over $4.00 for a 2-cup can it better be great, right?  I needed 2 cans to get 3 cups of stock for the recipe. (and it was fantastic, by the way).

Given I splurged a bit on the stock, I opted to choose the local store brand version of basmati (long-grain) rice, rather than the pricier Texmati brand I’ve used prior.  I don’t have a lot of rice typically in my pantry save for the type suited for risotto.

And…I chose sole fillets for the fish.  I was surprised at how they broke up into tiny pieces after adding to the chowder, even after cutting into large pieces and stirring gently.  I’m not sure if that’s because they were sole (vs. another type of white fish) or not. 

I breathed a sigh of relief when it was time to add the cheese and milk to the chowder.  The recipe was turning into more like a super thick stew at this point than a soup/chowder in the making.  I was sooo tempted to add more water or a splash of stock or white wine meanwhile, but I’m glad I didn’t.

I sliced the potatoes less than an inch thick.  And as they were cooking I ended up cutting them with my stirring spatula into smaller pieces.  I like the idea of adding slices to each soup plate for serving, but in my case they were not cooking through thoroughly in thick slices.

And…the cheese.  Either I spaced it or the grocery store did not have goat cheese (Chevre), so I sprung for some gorgonzola.  This actually added a nice tang and punch to the chowder without overpowering it.

Here’s the author’s notes on this recipe: “There is nothing better than a bowl of chupe on a cold winter night.  I especially like this variation from Peru because it is flavored with hot peppers and, instead of peas, it uses fava beans.  This chowder can be made with either fish or shrimp, or a mixture of both.  Peruvians always add eggs before serving.  They either stir in the lightly beaten eggs or put one poached egg in each soup plate and pour the soup on top.  This is a hearty soup that can be used as a main course for a light supper.”

Buon appetito!

From The South American Table, by Maria Baez Kijac.