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Club 45

20 Sunday May 2012

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How in hell did I get to be 45?? Before I go into panic mode, let me breathe and remember…what’s that saying about getting older…enjoy it because it’s a privilege denied to many.  Ah, now that feels better.

I really do feel younger and sillier than I did in my 20s and 30s.  I was trying to stake a claim at some sort of career path and figure so much out.  Sure I had fun, but I was pretty serious at the core. 

And the two paths of my life, personal and professional, really started ‘forking’ and developing (or not) in very different ways.  I wouldn’t call myself a whiz or expert in my jobs, but I do good work and I’m proud of it.  I’m proud that I can provide for myself and support myself in a fairly decent lifestyle.  The personal side of me, well, that’s been a slippery path.  I struggled with depression starting in my late 20s and early 30s.  My friends, cousins and my brother were all getting married and having children…really turning into ‘adults’ I guess.  And me?  Nope.  Why wasn’t it happening for me?  Sure, there were dates and a few boyfriends but none of those relationships went anywhere.   Was there something wrong with me?  Did I miss something important about adult life or successful romantic relationships that everyone magically learned and I spaced?   Ugh, I hate feeling like some weirdo leftover freakazoid.   What was it??

Well, a few rounds of counseling and the school that is Life have helped immensely.  I never wanted to try going on antidepressants or anything.  Something about the fact they chemically alter the brain kind of freaks me out.  Maybe that’s not entirely a true statement.  I know many people who have taken them and it’s been extremely beneficial for them.  

I just keep trying to be open and self-aware and continue to grow and improve wherever I can at being the best I can be.  Sure there have been years that were clunkers, growing/rebuilding years and, looking back, a few that were downright shitty.  I’m a firm believer that everything happens exactly as it’s suppose to happen, even if the reason for it is not entirely clear in the moment.  And I never, ever give up.  I know that positivity is one of my strengths.  Yes, I do want to get married eventually. 

So, yesterday was my birthday (and the reason for the name of this blog too).  Given this was a mini-milestone birthday of sorts, I decided I deserved a little extra pampering. 

I got a massage on Thursday.  Hoo doggy, this was such an amazing experience that I am probably going to shuffle around some of my budget so I can get one monthly.  Kind of sad it’s been 5 years since I’ve had one!  And it shows alright!! J had her work cut out for her, as my upper shoulders and back are cement-like and full of knots.  I joked with her ahead of time about this and we had a good laugh.  She also suggested I play around with how I have my work and home laptops positioned.  My arms are pretty short compared to my torso and rest of my body, and she says I likely have the keyboards too far away, so the constant reaching causes stress and strain in my arms, shoulders and pecs.  Ah, makes sense!  Kind of sad how “just” working away at a desk on a computer can cause injuries over time!  Oh, and how did I connect up with J?  She is a client of L’s; he built her website in the link above.  Nice!

So on my actual birthday I had a wonderful lunch with my folks at Milagro in downtown Kirkland.  Such a prime spot right on Lake Street!  And the weather was beautiful, so everyone was out with kids, dogs, biking, roller blading…just glorious.  And crowded too; I joke that when the weather gets nice you simply cannot be in a hurry if you are driving through that part of town. 

This was the first time at Milagro for all 3 of us.  And what do they say about first impressions…the ambiance is very nice and we were seated at a very generous sized booth.  Only when the server brought the menus did we notice a large area of the table had not been wiped clean.  Oops.  Later when our iced teas came my Mom’s glass was dirty.  Ew.  Thankfully they were very apologetic and fixed the problems quickly, but after that I was closely inspecting every piece of silverware and the dishes as we were served the whole rest of the lunch! Too funny.  The food was very good – we had a trio of salsas and chips for appetizers, and I had a wonderful chopped salad with carrots, corn, black beans, avocado and radishes…and a few other things that escape me right now.   Mom had a shrimp salad with apples and jicama and Dad chose the Enchiladas.  Delicious!

So I figured I need to stop denying myself indulgent things (within reason so I don’t break my budget) and just spend time getting more pampering.  Reserving time in my life to relax and recharge without guilt.  The massage was a huge, glaring reminder in neon letters that this is SO important to my well-being and feeling totally connected with my body.

Later in the afternoon I spent a little time shopping at Sur La Table – gosh we are so blessed to have this store in Kirkland!  I picked up some new kitchen hand soap and lotion (limoncello scented, yes!) and some tongs and a flexible trivet both in happy apple green.

And I topped off my pampering with a much-needed, overdue pedicure.  This was a total last-minute decision – I was so happy they had an opening!!  Now I can wear my open-toes shoes and sandals without cringing, well, for the next couple weeks or so.  Love it.

Summer hockey season starts tonight! I can’t WAIT to get back on the ice.  THIS is the best way to fight off good ol’ middle age…skate your ass off with a bunch of late 20-something (mostly) teammates.  Who I love like brothers.

Cotton Ball 5K

28 Sunday Aug 2011

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Whew!  The 3rd time IS a charm.  After being too tired or too rained out for two other 5Ks this spring/summer, I finally got one under my belt this year!

OK, yeah…I didn’t RUN it, but it still counts right?

This was my second time volunteering in the annual Alki Beach 5K Walk & Run, which benefits Northwest Hope and Healing.  Northwest Hope and Healing is a non-profit organization which provides emergency financial assistance for women who are undergoing breast cancer treatment at Swedish Medical Center in Seattle.  Assistance with basic living expenses like rent, childcare and groceries.

And wow that was a lot of hyperlinking in that last paragraph.  But really good stuff – please check it out.

So, how do you volunteer at a 5K?  Well, the way I did today was one of the easiest jobs ever – walk the course at the very end, to help let the police and others know that they could start re-opening the roads again.  That’s it! 

There are a ton of both new and old memories woven into this event…starting with the neighborhood.  Alki Beach is in West Seattle, and there’s a ton of family history here on my Dad’s side of the family.  My grandfather grew up in West Seattle in the 1920s.  He and my grandmother later raised my Dad and Uncle in this same neighborhood.  I have enormously fond memories as a kid of the long drive from my house growing up in the suburbs over to West Seattle for Sunday dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Countless, joyful times. 

And the newer memories are from my dear friend P, who inspired me to start training to run 5Ks a couple of years ago.  She and I used to work together and I’m so glad we still keep in touch despite super busy schedules.  P’s both run and volunteered in this 5K before, and I was so happy she asked me to join her again this year.

What can I say…this just FEELS good all around.  And it’s a nice change of pace getting out of the suburbs and into a wonderful, older neighborhood in the city, right on the salt water of Puget Sound.

OK, getting up super early on a Sunday morning is not my favorite thing to do, but once I got up, got dressed and on my way to meet P for our carpool, I was smiling.  P showed up with S, an exchange student from Japan who is staying with a friend of P’s while attending college here.  S was a good sport – I wasn’t sure if she knew entirely what this event was going to be all about but I admired her spunk and enthusiasm.  And her English was pretty good too!  Far better than my Japanese for sure, ha.

We arrived at Alki Beach around 8am.  Damn, that fog was thick but thankfully it was not as chilly as it was last year.  I remember borrowing knit running gloves from P at the last minute!  And also having to put our t-shirts on over our jackets! This year it was not cold, but that fog didn’t burn of AT ALL.

Yep, that’s Yours Truly in this week’s picture – that’s a fivenineteen first, everyone.  Had it not been so foggy there would have been a spectacular view of the Seattle skyline behind me.  Believe me.  P and I were so bummed because we really wanted S (the exchange student) to experience the view.  But the darn fog never burned off.

The one challenging thing about walking at the tail end of a 5K is, well, keeping your pace just right.  You don’t want to ‘hover’ too close behind the last group of walkers.  And, you want to make sure you start walking truly after everyone else has started.  With about 1200 people participating we had to wait several minutes before we could take to the street and start.

This race goes up and down Alki Avenue – a very flat, fast course.  At the halfway point the course does a 180 turn and heads back down the street, finishing at the same place we started.  Even though I was walking at a very slow pace with P and S, I was looking forward to a quick gulp of water at the water stop.  NOPE.  No water stop at the turn around point this year!  If I had been running this race I would have been extremely pissed.  Yikes.

Other than a few late stragglers we had to corral (how in the hell do you show up over one hour late for a 5K? Baffling.) the three of us had a very nice, relaxing stroll.  And we even finished in around 1 hour 15 minutes.  MUCH faster than last year.  Feels kinda cool walking over the finishing line and hearing the emcee announce, “…and our last walkers have just crossed the finish line…”.  Meanwhile we didn’t even break a sweat.

So although the fog kept its iron-clad grip on the neighborhood (hence my ‘cotton ball’ post title today), we had a wonderful morning volunteering.

And on the drive back to the suburbs?  Glorious sunshine.  Even Mount Baker was out.  Too funny how socked in Alki was.

Now it’s time for a nap.  Until next week, everyone! 

Hittin’ the Reset Button

10 Sunday Jul 2011

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So much has happened in the couple weeks since I last wrote.  I feel like I’ve busted through a wall (in a good way) or have gone through a massive kind of human car wash.  I feel great – refreshed, renewed and happy.  Even lighter too, but I’m not stepping on the scale just yet.

My last day of work was Thursday the 30th.  I knew this day was coming, and it was nice having nearly a full month’s notice that I’d be wrapping up then for sure.  When you do consulting/contract work like I have for nearly five years, you learn quickly how fluid and unpredictable work assignments can be.  You don’t always get as much notice as a month.  Hell, I’ve had two weeks, one week another time…and even another time got a phone call driving home one night that I didn’t need to come back to work the next day.  Never knew why.  It was the end of the quarter and maybe they’d forgotten that they needed to trim their contingent workforce.  Who knows.  

Why do I do this type of work, you may wonder?  Well, I consider it a big advantage, as I get the opportunity to zoom in and out of very disparate work environments and see what’s out there.  I do the work they need me to do and then I move on.  I don’t have to insert myself in politics or bullshit that every work environment has.  I learn different ways of solving problems and can apply them in other work engagements.

The flip side is I’m pretty much networking and job hunting year ’round.  Time goes quickly and most of my engagements are a year or less in length.  This one happened to be just over a year.  Felt like the blink of an eye, really.  So while there’s a part of me that gets a little drained having to keep an eye out for my next job pretty much constantly, the advantage is I’ve built up a much stronger network than I would have if I’d stayed in the same job for years and years.  I know how to rock an interview, network and land a job.  I always land on my feet.  Sure, I feel a little envious when I see people around my age who have been at their same jobs for 10-15 years or longer, but I’ve also heard them tell me things like, “Wow, I haven’t been on an interview in years.  I wouldn’t know how to do what you’re doing, fivenineteen.  I don’t know what I’d do if I ever got laid off.”  Guess the grass is always greener.  I’m happy in my patch ‘o green right now.

The job market has improved immensely out there, at least in my little world of perspective.  Once I updated my resume and started getting the word out, lots of calls and emails came pouring in.  That feels pretty damn good, no doubt there.

I’m starting a new position later this week!  It’s at the same company I was at prior, but in a completely different business unit.  Everything about this has felt good and right from the minute I got called to interview.  Including the speed of business and sense of urgency in getting this all put together (paperwork, etc).  Remember how my start date for the position I just wrapped up got delayed some two or three weeks?  And when I did show up for Day One, my manager was out sick and didn’t tell anyone (so I sat in the lobby for two hours with a peer of mine and a sales rep)?  Yeah, I don’t like to remember that either because it sucked royally.  Glad that is all far, far in the rear view mirror.  And it makes for great storytelling too.

So I have had just about a week of downtime between gigs.  Just enough to really “reset,” but not so long that my brain would start going to mush. 

I had an incredible 4th of July weekend with family. I’ve posted about Ocean Park and the Long Beach Peninsula out on the Washington coast before.  It’s truly magical, beautiful and deeply steeped in family history. And it’s fun seeing my nephews and niece discover it too and get to know their other cousins – on both sides of the family!  We had incredible warm and sunny weather – it’s a crapshoot on the coast even in early summer like now.  Polar fleece?  Shorts?  Yes and yes.

Even the drive there and back is relaxing and cleansing.  Once you get off the main freeways and onto the two-lane highways the scenery is amazing.  I’ve driven that route hundreds of times and I never get tired of it.

Know that feeling when you’re on a roll…things just happen in your favor?  Right down to a rockstar parking spot when you’re running late for an appointment…and parallel park correctly on the first try?  That’s how it’s been lately, and frankly I deserve it.  It’s been a real grinding haul these past 13-14 months.  

Just the other day I got an “escrow overage” check in the mail from my bank.  Wuhh?  $212 – works for me.  And within two days I received two very generous jewelry orders from my side business.  One was a guest who couldn’t make my last hostess’ party and the other was a friend who called me when I posted something on Facebook about the new jewelry that’s coming out later this month for the new season! Earlier this week I looked at my post-coast trip feet.  Yuck…I need a pedicure!  My favorite spa had an opening just two hours later.  I splurged and got the pedi with the extra foot and leg massage time.  Ahhh.  I also met with a couple of recruiters I’d not met with before over lunch.  Like I’ve said, you always keep networking.  They know I’ve got something new lined up already, but time goes quickly.

Now…how can I bottle up this great Feeling of Reset? 

Does Sex Cure Jet Lag?

21 Monday Feb 2011

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…asking this question in my best Carrie Bradshaw-esque narrative/musing style.  If you’re a Sex and the City fan like me (HBO Series a few years ago for those who have been living under a rock) you know what I’m talking about.

But even if you don’t you might be intrigued by this post’s title perhaps?  And are there scientific studies out there?

My answer is who cares about scientific studies!!  There’s no better way to welcome your man back home from a long 2-week overseas vacation.  Halfway across the planet mind you.  And the bitch of the international date line when returning.  20+ hours of flying plus what the hell day/time is it anyway?

I literally bounced out of bed on Saturday morning – far earlier than my usual snoozefest.  I knew G’s flight was scheduled to arrive early afternoon but who knows with flight delays how it would really turn up.  Well, turns out his flights were pretty much on time.  I fell back into bed in a blissful doze, enjoying the unexpected sunshine pouring through my bedroom window blinds.  The sun felt SO warm and glorious inside, but damn it was cold outside! 

After some morning coffee and a quick shower I blasted down to the airport, my heart pounding and fluttering.  Had it really been a whole two weeks since G was away?  I’d gotten emails from him nearly every day – very unexpected given he wasn’t sure how much online time he would have, plus the texting/calling fees are outrageous.  No worries there.

I won’t ever forget seeing him walk up to my car at the airport in the sunshine…big smile, great shades and looking incredibly hot in his travel gear.  And bringing him back to his apartment so we could just crash out and spend some wonderful time together…so very missed.  And oh – did we forget to eat? Does he feel like eating?  Yes!  Time for a late lunch.

I was perfectly OK with just letting him sleep given I had no idea how exhausted he would be, but was glad he wanted to hang out for awhile before going back home to sleep.  So we grabbed a couple burgers + manhattan for him/beer for me, with more of that incredible winter sunshine streaming through the restaurant windows.

And then while hearing all about his trip, suddenly there was a long, black jewelry box on the table.

He bought me the most incredibly gorgeous Opal bracelet…a double row of oval-shaped, turquoise blue opals set in sterling silver.  AHHH, this is so incredibly gorgeous it took my breath away and I about burst into tears.  Turquoise blue is probably one of my favorite colors of all time and I LOVE all things sterling silver.  This beautiful bracelet, now on my wrist thanks to his help and a big kiss too makes me so happy.  And you know, I’m not really in general a huge gifts-oriented person…I’m more of a quality time type girl when it comes to Love Languages [see my post on our weekend at Discovery Park and elsewhere], but I’m blown away by his generosity.

Generosity with a huge helping of quality time too.  Today we met up for a long walk around my neighborhood, loved hearing more about his trip and then went off to see friends at their house for dinner.  Soft tacos and delicious southwest-style homemade soup with pork, green chilies, cilantro, hominy and spices. Bliss.  These are some of the people from his supper club which I was very honored to join for the first time back in January.  And we’ll be meeting up again here in early March.  

His family.  And how humbled, welcomed and happy I feel to be a part of this group.