Hoo doggy, 2011, you blew in fast and furious.  It’s already been a hell of a year…and we’re only 9 days into it. 

Ever have really cool AND really tragic things happen right on top of eachother?  At the same time?  Enough to where you kinda feel guilty about feeling the good feelings while processing a tragedy?  My brain’s been doing 180 degree flip flops and I’m exhausted.  I don’t even know if it’s a good exhausted or a bad one. It just is.

We lost a family member this past Tuesday…my cousin’s ex wife to be specific.  P was a beautiful blue-eyed blonde with the kindest heart imaginable.  A loving mother of two incredible daughters, 14 and 11.  Alcoholism caught up with her and she was rushed to the hospital on Christmas Day.  We thought she’d somehow pull through – God, we prayed and prayed…but after a few days her liver failed and she passed away. At 41. I still can’t believe it – writing these words feels so strange.  Even Facebook went silent for me and family members…it just felt wrong writing about other things in life while we mourn.

I had a very, very vivid dream about P the night I found out she’d been hospitalized.  She and I were kind of floating around in the air from our shoulders up while having a conversation – sounds really weird but it’s one of those dream-y things that’s perfectly normal in your dream.  I wonder if that was her way of saying goodbye.  I hope – know – she is at peace.  P, we miss you.

A chilly and gloriously sunny New Years Day, topped off with brunch with my friend J, her boyfriend and her folks here visiting from Calgary for the holidays!  Somehow I was able to curb my emotions (P was still alive) and enjoy the afternoon, even sneaking away a couple times to make some phone calls to my family while J, J and her parents and I were strolling around outside shopping.  I told J what was happening later…still in disbelief about it all.

Sunday night hockey…great way to greet the New Year and restart the Engines of Routine.  Know how things get all wonky and off schedule during the holidays?  For us at work it’s a slow period, and with Christmas gatherings and all it’s its own bubble of Unique in late December.  Felt really good to get back on the ice again and start blasting away at the 5 lbs I probably gained with all that holiday food eating and not much exercise.

January 3rd was a holiday – a delicious Bonus, really.  So nice sleeping in after a late night of hockey. 

OK, everyone, have you ever met someone new and ended up talking for about 5 hours…when time just kinda stops and you just fall into your own world?  Guhhh…I think I made some pseudo-sorta-pact with myself that I would avoid writing about my dating life, but I’ve slipped up in prior posts and guess I have now here too. 

I’m not even sure.  Not sure how much to write about here or just keep to myself.  Not sure what’s going to happen.  Just sure that Discovery is a red hot aphrodisiac…with a nice slice of Anticipation on the side.  Hmmm.

And while I take in the lows and the highs I sailed through the weekend – birthday celebration / Happy Hour with my great friend P who is freshly back from a couple weeks travel in Belize (heavenly…I could feel the sun and warmth radiating from her and her amazing pictures too!)  And yesterday with new and old friends – first jewelry show of the year and it was a huge success – lots of fun and about $1100 in sales for ol’ fivenineteen here. 

Tonight’s hockey and hopefully a sound sleep.  This week’s gonna be a busy one at work but I have lots to look forward to otherwise.

And I just peeked at our work holiday calendar – it’s gonna be a long haul till Memorial Day.

Happy New Year!