Alrighty, so this is a follow-up to my whine and moan session in my previous post about the weight gain.  Make a little time for a pity party and then DO SOMETHING, right?  At least that’s the motto I try to live by.  I’m human and sometimes stumble and sputter when I am trying to deal with things that bring me down, but deep at the core there is a never-ending drive, hunger and fire to DO, improve – whatever it is.  Fire in the belly!  OK, well, there’s a little more of my belly than there used to be so I assume the fire’s still deep in there somewhere, ha ha.

Everyone out there familiar with The Biggest Loser?  The reality TV series where really obese people diet and exercise like crazy and compete to see who can lose the largest percentage of their starting body weight?

Well, call ME a loser I suppose, as I’ve never watched one entire episode in all the 5 or 6 years this show has been around.  I’ve seen highlights of it at the end of a season where they crown a new winner, but haven’t watched an episode all the way through.

But one name pops through for sure as the show gets woven into our seemingly never-ending hunger for a good, competitive reality show – Jillian Michaels.

Jillian is one of the personal trainers on the show, and she has a few books out, cookbooks, a nutritional or weight loss supplement she’s endorsing (or developed?  Not sure).  And…a few workout DVDs.

It’s been a long time since I’ve purchased a workout video.  In fact, the other two I had were on VCR so there ya go.  Remember Buns of Steel?  I admit I plowed through that one a few times.  It was in 2 parts – some low impact aerobics (admittedly very cheezy) and then the intense booty workout.  And I also had Cindy Crawford’s Shape Your Body workout video from I’m guessing c. 1992ish?  Yep – just checked Amazon.com – 1992 – and now it’s been reissued?  It got MAJORLY panned as being full of poorly-performed and risky moves.  Very 1990s…the music was mostly Seal and Primal Scream.  And they did a lot of alternative settings rather than a traditional exercise studio.  The beach, a rooftop in an urban setting, you name it.  My copy went to Goodwill years ago but I do remember that workout quite well.  I think partly because I did it in my first apartment I had on my own.  1 bedroom, 1 bath.  Killer, kickass water and mountain view, killer neighborhood but a tad dumpy otherwise.  But it was home for nearly 5 years.  And I was on the top (3rd) floor, yet for some reason my neighbor below me never complained when I was walking around or jumping up and down doing those workouts.

I like being around people.  When I work out I’d rather be at the gym where other people are doing their thing, on a walk with a good friend, or mixing it up on the ice in hockey.  But I do enjoy walks alone with the iPod as well – good to recharge and just veg out a bit.  And workout videos can get boring after awhile even though they usually have more than one routine in them.

So fast forward 15+ years or so and I recently got the Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred DVD.  I’ve heard a ton of great feedback about it and as I might have mentioned in another post it was only $8.99 on Amazon.com so it’s definitely in line with my Money Diet.  Yes, I’m trying to stick with newly-learned frugal habits even though I’ve been back at work now for about 5 weeks.

Oh. My. God.  After the first workout I could hardly get out of bed the next day or two!  My abs!  My pecs!  On the other hand…this is a good thing.  The muscles are rumbling back to life!

There are 3 workouts on the DVD – 3 levels of difficulty.  There are so many things I love about this.  First of all, you’re DONE in about 25 minutes.  Yep, there is a brief warmup before each workout, 18 minutes of circuit training and then a 2 minute stretch/cooldown.  All you need is a mat and some hand weights (dumbells).

Another thing I like is the variety…the circuits are broken down like this:

• 3 minutes strength
• 2 minutes cardio
• 1 minute abs

…repeat that cycle 2 times and voila!  She has a few basic moves for each circuit and varies how they are rotated in each.  Again, I like this variety.  And if you are worried about complicated dance moves for the cardio portion, fear not.  All the cardio is very basic stuff like jump roping in place, jumping jacks, squatting in place while boxing – things like that.  I don’t mind a little fun choreography but on the other hand it’s nice that part is just 2 minutes a pop.

There are also two other women in the background doing modified versions of the exercises – one more beginner and one advanced.

So far I’m having a blast.  I’ve done the Level 1 workout 4 times and I feel GREAT.  Remember, it’s a 20 minute workout so there is NO resting.  You have to push and push and push the entire time without stopping.  And it’s hard!  But that’s the idea.

The 2 minute cardio sessions are no brainers for me.  I’m used to that with hockey, plus my natural inclination to be a sprinter rather than a distance runner (I’m trying to ‘fight’ that by training for 5Ks).  But holy shitballs, the strength sections are killer.  Movements that seem pretty harmless “suddenly” creep up and kick you in the ass (or the triceps, pecs) after a few reps pretty quickly.  And I guess that’s the idea!  There are a lot of combo type moves, such as anterior shoulder raises combined with side lunges.  Or squats combined with presses upwards.  Again, with the idea to make the most of those intense 20 minutes. 

I SUCK at pushups.  How much muscle tone has vacated my upper body here??  UGH.  I can barely do 5 or 6 in a row right now even in the modified version on your knees.  Old school exercise but still tried and true I suppose.  I really do love the ‘squat and row’ exercise with the hand weights too.  I tend to carry the weight of the world in my neck and shoulders, especially after being on a computer all day, so anything that helps loosen up and tone that area is HUGE for me.  I find I feel better and “sit” taller after a good upper body workout.  Those pecs are in there somewhere.  Again, I’m amazed how much muscle tone I’ve lost.  Anything I can do to fight looking middle-aged, I’m there!

So…I’m hoping this is a workout I can stick with for awhile along with the other choices I’m making in a renewed committment to fitness and peeling off some poundage.  An intense workout in just 20-25 minutes?  I’VE got the time for sure!

And like Jillian says…”NO excuses.”

I need to vent a little.  For the first time in my life (OK, mayyybe the second but this time it’s a little worse) I am noticing mild aches in my knees when I go up and down stairs.  Keep in mind I live in a 3-story townhouse and also work on a 2nd floor at my new job so I’m all about the stairs, baby.  And yep, I feel it.  Sometimes I even “hear” my knees making very faint, grinding sounds, like really fast Rice Krispies crackles.  Hmmm, one of these days I’ll likely be too noisy to sneak up on people.  And my back starts to tire out more quickly now when I play hockey…I truly “know” when it’s the end of my shift as my lower back screams it to me.  I suppose I should feel blessed that I’ve never had knee or back problems as a kid, teen or young adult.  None of these are sharp, alarming pains…just things I’ve never really felt before…and I’m wondering WHY.

And why now?

I just turned 43 last month and you know, I remember how I was soooo ready and excited to turn 40…I was all BRING IT OWHNNN and thrilled to punch through into a new decade.  But I admit the big 4-0 kicked me in the ass.  A few weeks after my birthday I ended a relationship with the man I thought I was going to marry.  I am not going to drone on about the details other than say here that it was extremely painful as we were really, truly, deeply in love but there were some very unhealthy things going on that we could not work through no matter how hard we tried.  Then, just a couple of weeks after that breakup my work contract ended abruptly.  Abruptly as in I was driving home one night after work to meet up with a friend for a drink and got a call from my agency that I literally did NOT need to go back in the office the next day.  So…I turned 40 and within weeks two HUGE elements of my life SHUT DOWN.  Hard.  It was brutal and there were days I didn’t want to get out of bed.  But I pulled through and survived thanks to the incredible support of my family and friends.

Oh, and here are a few things people may not tell you about that happen when you hit your 40s:
– Knee/back pain (at least for me…perhaps it’s weight gain too?)
– Weight redistributes…where are my teeny little waist and flat tummy?  Yoo hoooo…
– Thinning hair…not in a major baldspot way but in general.  Thankfully I have thick, wavy hair and have some to spare.  But if you look at pictures of me 20 years ago you CAN see a difference.
– Ass drops about 3 or 4 inches.  Boooo gravity.
– Random, rogue chin hairs.  Yep, my tweezers are my new BFF.  Every other day I gotta check out the jawline.  What the F already??
– Peach fuzz…thankfully my facial hair is pretty much colorless but it makes makeup look bad and frankly is very aging in general.  I get it waxed periodically at my favorite spa; while I’ve been out of work and on a major Money Diet I’ve actually found a drugstore waxing kit that works GREAT as a cheap alternative and doesn’t irritate my skin.
– Zits!  Yep, zits AND wrinkles here…bonus.
– Changes in eating/diet:  I have totally lost my tolerance for red wine.  One tiny glass maybe with a huge steak dinner is OK, but other than that I have no desire to drink it and when I have a glass I feel like a train hit me the next morning.  I suppose there could be worse things to give up, however!
– Occasional loss of balance…I actually know of 3 women who shortly after turning 40 have lost their balance and taken bad falls either at work or at home.  A missed last step or a stumble that turns into a major embarrassment or even some surgery to fix broken bones.  I admit I have sometimes “caught” myself about to miss a last step either indoors or outdoors and it’s scary.  And I HAVE fallen once in my townhouse, but I blamed it on the high heeled clogs I was wearing. A couple of years ago I was heading down to my garage to meet up with my boyfriend K at the time and I went SPLAT down the stairs and smacked head first into the wall at the bottom.  Luckily no twists or sprains…just a bruised ego and a good laugh that no one was watching.

They also say your metabolism slows and it’s harder to lose weight as you get older. Honestly, my weight has always been an achilles heel for me so I don’t see a real change there, other than my weight has re-distributed within my body.  Grrr.

So let’s talk about the weight gain here.  This is probably a reason why my knees/back are feeling the burn more than they used to.  A few of you know that in the summer of 2003 I walked about 5-7 miles a day outside every single day for about 5-6 months and dropped 35 lbs.  After that I took up hockey.  I am trying to think back all those years to remember if I noticed less aching in my knees and back, but I can only remember how great it felt having my lung strength increase.  No more wheezy, tight-chested feelings going up steep hills.  Once I started slimming down and getting in better shape it was a breeze.  And thank goodness I got my cardio in good condition before starting hockey.

Oh, and one other thing – The Pill.  Yes, in early fall 2007 I started a new job and started dating K around the very same time.  I also found a new doctor and after a complete physical, bloodwork, some meds for high blood pressure and all we made the mutual decision to put me on the Pill.  And this was probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done.  Within a couple months I blew up like a balloon.  And the only good thing about that was that I suddenly went from a small B to a full C cup so I now have decent boobs, ha ha.  I quit the Pill after a little under a year and will never, ever do that again.  Even that low dosage prescription plumped me up pronto and I’ve had a devil of a time fighting off the weight ever since.  Kinda weird how none of those 3 things (job, man, Pill) ended up working out.  My entire business unit got RIF’d from that company, I broke up with K because we just never had time to grow our relationship (another long story) and the Pill was a big ol’ mistake.  Oh well – sometimes you take a path at a fork in the road and it’s not the right choice after all.  Regroup!

Stress has also played a big role with the weight gain too.  As a lot of you know, I was unemployed from late July through late October last year, worked very briefly 8 weeks at very low pay through the end of December, and then was unemployed all into 2010 until just about a month ago.  It hurt.  It hurt financially and emotionally, big time.  There were days I’d drink coffee all morning, have popcorn for lunch and mac and cheese for dinner.  And, oh, maybe pop a few vitamins.  All while barely showered and in my ripped up leggings and an old flannel shirt.  Yeah, I’m not proud of all of that but it’s the truth.  That was my M.O. on days I didn’t have interviews or other things to get me out and about.  I felt very lost, stressed and alone on the bad days.

Now that I’m back to work and getting acclimated (and enjoying decent paychecks again, woo hoo!) I’m trying to re-assess my diet and fitness goals.  I guess it’s a self-esteem issue for me; when I’m working I feel I have “purpose,” and through that it fuels me to make other improvements in my life.  Right or wrong, that’s my reality.

So, here are a few things in the works:
– Exercise:  I’ve signed up for a 5K in late July and have started the Couch to 5K Program yet again.  I did two 5Ks last year but this time around it’s tougher to train with the extra pudge.
– More exercise:  I am now the proud owner of the Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred DVD.  I’ve never watched The Biggest Loser but I hear this workout is kickass.  And for just $8.99 thanks to the nice people at Amazon.com it fits my Money Diet.  I did my first workout tonight and I might be too sore in my pecs to get out of bed or even type tomorrow, ha ha.  We’ll see!  It’s a very intense, 20-minute workout of cardio, weights and abs in small circuits.  Kind of nice having it done quickly, rather than a long, brisk walk outside which might take an hour or more and doesn’t really do anything for the upper body.
– Diet changes:  I still don’t have any Diet Coke cravings after stopping it cold turkey in early January!  But I now work again at a company where beverages are complimentary, sodas, juice, the whole works.  And while I love bubbles, I find that sparkling sodas and diet root beer make me bloat up like no one’s business.  So I stick with plain water from the water cooler and a couple cups of coffee in the morning.
– Nutrition:  the cafeterias here are kick butt and subsidized, so I hope having more nutritious (and cheap!) choices at lunch will inspire me to blow the dust off my cookbooks yet again. The salad bar and brown rice sushi are two of my favorites.
– Healthy snacks:  string cheese and plain, unsalted almonds are great low-cal snacks to keep the blood sugar stable between meals.  I try to avoid snacking but if I’m stuck with having to take a later lunch either of these really help.

So, I’m excited for this journey to get back to a healthy weight, ease the strain on the knees and back…and getting back to where I recognize myself in pictures again!

Oh and PS:  what GETS better in your 40s?  Wisdom, confidence, less and less tolerance for bullshit and…sex.

Mascara is my #1 “can’t live without it” makeup product, and eyeliner is probably #2, save for some good lip balm.  I love focusing on my eyes when doing makeup…probably one of my better features I’d say.  I learned very early on (probably reading Seventeen magazine or other rags) that since I have close-set eyes it’s best to put liner/shadow on the outer half of my eyes to make them look farther apart.  Fast forward 25+ years and I still do pretty much the same thing.  Darker shadows go on the outer half of the lids and crease area and lighter shadows go in the inner corners. 

My obsession (joy! love affair!) with makeup probably goes back to my childhood…remembering when my Mom would let me play around with her makeup as a kid of 4 or 5.  Probably just normal girl growing up stuff.  Sometimes she’d put a little lipstick on me before a ballet recital – awwww, I felt so, well, grown up I guess!

Aiiight!!  So I went with a pick-up-sticks pic just for something different.  As with any other makeup, my eyeliner journey is a joyful trial and error.  And I love it.  There are a ton of great products out there, a few clunkers and always the thrill of trying something new.

I’ve hardly ever met a black eyeliner I didn’t like so about 90% of what I have is some sort of black.  Browns are no good on me unless they are a deep chocolate brown and if they need to be that dark then it might as well just be black.  BLACK ROCKS.  I’ve got some charcoal grey, deep plum and deep pine green in for a little variety – and even a white liner but we’ll get to that later.  And yes, as with mascara I used to have tons of cobalt blue, bright purple and lime green pencil (and liquid) liners in the 80s.  No more. 

A good liner goes on the way you want it with minimal dragging, stays put and comes off easily when you want it. This is one reason I’m so into liquid liner, as it stays in place and washes off easily…often I don’t need that additional step of an eye makeup remover on a cotton ball.  Yes, like I’ve said before, I try to avoid any extra tugging/pulling around the eye area.  Liquid liner can take some practice applying it just right to control the thickness of the line but it’s so worth it.

I usually just line my upper lids and leave the lower ones bare.  This is partly because I can be prone to smudging/smearing over the course of the day (no one likes that “racoon eye” look, right? And also because it can be a little too dramatic for everyday, daytime makeup, at least on me.  I work in a very casual environment (jeans/t-shirts are pretty much standard) so there’s no need to go all out to impress anyone, heh.  I save lining the lower lashes for nights out or just goofing around on a weekend.

Other things I’ve learned?  Keep ’em sharpened.  Not only does this ensure a “fresh” pencil line but it keeps the line going on clean and thin.  You can always make it thicker later.

So let’s dig into the ol’ pile o’ pencils…

Makeup For Ever Aqua Eyes:  these are the ones with the clear caps if you can see them in the picture.  I have this in 3 colors – black (duh), black with a little shimmer, and a deep plum.  These are “waterproof” so they glide on very nice but are a bitch to remove so they are not my first choice.  You know how I feel about waterproof eyemakeup by now, right?  At Sephora.

MAC Eye Kohl:  Once again I give a shout out to MAC for rockstar makeup!  LOVE these liners.  These go on smoothly and don’t smudge much during the day.  They’re not waterproof but they do need some makeup remover as a final step after you’re done cleansing to get every last bit off (as you should!)  I’ve got these in several shades…black, deep grey, plum, pine green (do we detect a pattern here?), deep bronze…and…WHITE! 

Why the hell would anyone want white liner?  Listen up: it’s a GREAT eye brightener along the lower waterline.  No, I’m not talking about tides or boats – I’m talking about that small area between your lashes and your eye itself.  That’s called a “waterline” my friends, and a little bit of white liner in there does wonders on those mornings you’re not feeling/looking so alert.  Ideally you should be able to line your waterlines without needing to pull or tug your lower eye area.  It’s a little weird pointing a liner pencil there so close to your actual eye…the first time I did it was in 7th grade so I guess I conquered that squeamishness early on.  Department stores or maccosmetics.com.

MAC Greasepaint Stick:  Yup, the MAC ho marches on with more…I’ve got 3 of these and love, love love.  They’re the cynlindrical, larger ones in the pic.  MAC launched their first Greasepaint stick last year as part of their Style Black collection, when everyone was into black lipstick and all that goth stuff.  A little theatrical rockin the black lips, but the greasepaint eyeliner is incredible.  This goes on in a thick, smeary line but if you want a lighter, thinner look you can do it with a delicate touch.  It’s thick but you can still keep the point relatively sharp with the sharpener which is very cleverly disguised in the other end of the pencil.  A tiny, plastic sharpener pops out and you can whittle away.  I have to admit I had NO idea about the little hidden sharpener until it came time to sharpen one of mine and I actually posted the question on a makeup forum I actively participate in.  Too funny!  And also a good idea, as these pencils are too big for a standard sharpener.  I’ve got these in the original black as well as a deep grey and a dark greyish-brown taupe.  Department stores or maccocsmetics.com.

MAC Penultimate Liquid Liner:  a glorious hit from the Chill collection (winter 2008 I think).  This is a liquid liner which goes on with a sharp, pointed felt tip pen-like applicator.  So it can either look very thin like a sharp pencil or you can make it as thick as you want.  Stays put and washes off like a breeze!  YES!  This one goes with me on business travel for sure. I’m on my 2nd or 3rd refill. Black only. Department stores or maccocsmetics.com.

MAC Liquid Liner:  this is the cone-shaped one at bottom right center.  It has a little wider tip on the felt pen applicator than the Penultimate but still, truly outstanding.  And a steal at around $14 I think.  Comes in black only.  Why mess with a great thing?  Department stores or maccocsmetics.com.

Urban Decay 24/7 Eye Pencil:  I’ve got two of these and really like them.  They’ve got the silver caps in the picture.  Of all the pencil-type liners I’ve tried, these glide on the easiest – you hardly need to apply any pressure at all.  LOVE that.  And if you wanna take a shot at lining your waterline, start with one of these as they are really creamy and gentle.  At Sephora.

Clunkers?  Well, I gotta say Chanel’s Le Crayon Yeux was a disappointment.  For $28 the only saving grace was the built-in smudger on the other side of the pencil.  A very cool, dense and slanted tiny sponge.  And Chanel’s Ecriture Liquid Liner was nice but overpriced at $34.  For that amount of cash I’d expect it to last longer than it did.  And I found the thin brush applicator tip a bit too floppy and the liner itself came out uneven – either too little or in thick globs.  No thanks.  This is why I prefer felt pen type applicators.  [MAC’s Penultimate, in comparison, is only $16.50.] 

And…I’ve heard really great things about Revlon ColorStay Liquid Liner.  Great liner at a kickbutt drugstore price (about $10).  I haven’t yet tried it but it’s on my wishlist.  I’ll probably check it out when one of my MAC liquid liners run out.

For now, as you can see, I’ve got plenty to keep me busy!

Hi, everyone.  I’m a major, major mascara junkie.  If you told me I could only have one makeup product this would be it.  I lucked out with thick and naturally curly lashes but they are pale.  So a little mascara is great to open up my eyes and get them defined.  Score!

I love wearing makeup but also love it when I can remove it easily too.  Gotta avoid any excess tugging or pulling, especially around the eyes as the skin is so thin and delicate.  Why accelerate the aging process?  Gentle, my friends…be gentle with that skin around your eyes.

These mascaras in the picture are all pretty traditional – meaning none have that new vibration/oscillation motor thing in them.  Honestly, I think that whole thing is a stupid gimmick.  Yes, I have no opinions.  The thought of putting anything that vibrates near my eyes kind of scares me.  And I’ve never, ever used one of those eyelash curler devices either.  An eyelash curler looks like a strange mini medieval contraption torture thingy and…it scares me.  So, I won’t be talking about either of those things in here.

There’s something for everyone…there are endless types of brush shapes – some are curved to mimic the arc shape of your eyes and lashline, some are pretty cylindrical and others are flat.  And some have more of a comb-type applicator.  Really, it all boils down to what works best for your lashes and eye shape. So have fun out there and experiment!  No matter what type you use or how much or how little you spend, people are either going to notice really great lashes or (horrors) really crappy clumped up, spidery lashes.  Try to avoid the Tammy Faye Bakker look please.

Colors?  I stay with black, black and more black – with a few rare exceptions.  Long gone are the days of cobalt blue, bright purple and emerald green mascara.  Yep, I shamelessly admit I did all of these.  Hey, it was the 80s so it was pretty much the Law.  There are probably a few incriminating pictures of me floating around to prove this too. 

I’ve tried 987498735 kinds of mascara and never get tired of the ongoing search for a junkie fix.  I suppose there are worse (and more expensive) bad habits to have – shoes, handbags, cocaine – KIDDING! 

Here’s what’s currently in my stash (left to right):

Cover Girl LashBlast: this mascara kicks ASS and is under $10.  Ding ding…bonus time!  Truly an all-time winner both in how it looks and the price.  Yep, this qualified as a legit Money Diet purchase.  [note: there is a LashBlast Length variation of this in a yellow tube and it blows chunks.  It just made my lashes look thin and stringy and did nothing.  What a waste.]  So…look for the orange tube, not the yellow.  At drugstores.

Artistry:  never heard of this brand?  Artistry is actually Amway’s makeup line, and I found out about it at a friend’s spa party. When I think of Amway I think of laundry detergent, not makeup.  Color me surprised!  The brush is long and thin and the bristles are in a tiny spiral pattern – something I’ve never seen before.  This mascara is waterproof so it’s not something I generally would purchase.  Meaning, I don’t need mascara to stay on through a swim or shower, plus waterproof mascara is pretty hard to remove and results in excess tugging and pulling – a big no-no as y’all know in my book.  But this one comes off pretty easily with an eye makeup remover so it doesn’t seem hardcore waterproof to me at all.  Find your Amway rep and place your order – about $15.

Paula’s Choice Lush mascara:  Ah…once again Paula Begoun cranks out another great product that does what it’s supposed to do – no more, no less, no bullshit hype in advertising.  I love this woman!  It has a traditional, symmetrical brush and it goes on (and comes off) fabulously.  And I also love how it closes with a final, satsifying ‘click’.  Have you ever had a mascara dry out too fast because you didn’t close it completely?  With this one, you know.  Paulaschoice.com.

Makeup For Ever Smoky Lash:  I’m on my 3rd or 4th tube of this stuff and actually treated myself recently after starting my new job (yep, I went on a Sephora bender).  Just a really great, thickening mascara and I love it!  This is the one I take with me on business travel too.  It’s a little pricier (low $20s) but very much worth it.  At Sephora.

Yves St. Laurent (YSL) Faux Cils:  Oh so sleek and elegant in the shiny gold tube.  And oh so stinky inside.  Eeesh, this stuff has a pungent chemical type of smell – never ever experienced this before in a mascara!  Kind of like new car smell with a dash of burnt rubber?  Hard to describe.  Anyway, this mascara is touted to give you a look like you’re wearing false lashes as its name suggests. It DOES have a nice thickening and curling effect but that darn old smell can be a deal breaker.  I stomach’d it up and opened my wallet…$30.  This stuff better last a long time at that price.  I picked up the “Sublime Grey” shade for a little variety from all the black.  At Sephora.

Lancome Hypnose:  a fun, undulating tube shape with a traditional long, thin brush inside (not curved).  It also has a very nice thickening and curling effect and I’d put it up toward the top of my favorites along with the Make Up For Ever one.  You might know that Lancome is the “department store” version of L’Oreal, so if you like L’Oreal (drugstore) products you’ll probably like Lancome and vice versa.  About $25 and very much worth it.  Department stores or Sephora.

MAC Zoom Fast Black Lash:  once again, MAC knocks it out of the park with great products at great prices (well, except for foundations but I already covered that in another post).  Literally half the price of the YSL and Lancome brands – a steal at $13.  This one goes on a bit “wetter” than others, so use very light, thin coats and let it dry thoroughly before doing other makeup (trust me on this one…no one likes those awful ‘globs’ of smeared mascara around the eyes and they’re a bitch to fix).  Department stores or maccosmetics.com.

MAC Plushlash:  another great buy at $13.  The brush is short, fat and somewhat flat and rectangular so you can rotate it to get just where you need to.  I have pretty big eyes but some with smaller eyes might find it too wide.  Department stores or maccosmetics.com.

And I’ll add a few more from my personal Hall of Fame and Hall of Shame not currently in my collection:

Hall of Shame:
Urban Decay Big Fatty mascara – I LOVE the names Urban Decay drums up for their products.  But the Big Fatty is a big F-up.  Huge brush with zero oomph on the lashes.  Astonishing, really! 

Benefit BADgal – I really wanted to love this as I’ve used and adored the BADgal black liner pencil for years and years.  But the mascara was a big disappointment.  I actually had to use a separate, thickening base (from another mascara with a wand on each end) for this to look decent, otherwise it just went on thin and stringy no matter how many coats I applied.  Huge pain in the butt and not worth it.

Cover Girl LashBlast Length – avoid the yellow tube, people.

Hall of Fame:
L’Oreal Voluminous – so many people sing its praises and I’m right there chiming in.  Maybe I’m due for a refill?  This is truly a kickbutt drugstore mascara.  Goes on evenly, lasts a long time…just simply elegant.

Buxom Lash – Buxom is the sister line of Bare Escentuals, one of the heavy-hitters in the mineral makeup craze.  The wand resembles a medieval weapon as it’s biggest at the top and bottom while smaller in the middle with long bristles.  A little oddly-shaped but it works.  If you have smaller eyes this might be too big.

Stila MAJOR Major Lash – I really like Stila’s eyeshadows and decided to try a mascara on a whim.  Good Lord how much cash have I dropped at Sephora over the years, ha ha.  This one has a majorly big brush and goes on majorly gooey if you’re not careful.  Not my favorite but not a disappointment either, so I’ll give it a “straight line face” with a slight Mona Lisa smile.  At Sephora.

Chanel Exceptionnel – exceptionally priced at $30 but this is worth a splurge, my friends.  I LOVE the comb-like brush and the curling effect.  I’ve gobbled this one up over time in some of the other colors too – along with black it comes in navy and violet.  But the colors are very subtle – meaning they’re mostly black with a small touch of color – so you won’t look like an 80s throwback.  The price is steep but it does last a long time, and has that nice ‘click’ when you twist the tube closed.

Any mascara experts out there notice what’s missing?  Yep, Maybelline Great Lash mascara.  What was that statistic Maybelline was promoting awhile back…something like every 10 seconds a tube of this stuff is sold?  Hmmm, I can’t remember.  Anyway, this is supposed to be the alltime die-hard favorite, in the famous pink tube with the green cap.  Everyone loves it, right?  Well, I’ve used a few tubes over the years but I haven’t bought it since probably college or so.  Too wet and the brush is too small.  So, I guess that’s more for everyone else out there to love!

Well, I hope this was helpful and maybe even a bit entertaining.  Get out there and rock those lashes!!

I think I’ve been a closet or wannabe Sociologist for a long time.  It’s fascinating observing behavior around me and our interactions with one another.  But never enough to make it a college major or possible career.  Just enough to observe, get inspired, amused, or perhaps a bit shocked depending…just making notes on the virtual clipboard in my head.

And last night on Friday there was no shortage of juicy goodness.  Ever sit right next to two people on a first date?

I met my good friend T for sushi and drinks last night as a belated birthday celebration.  Hell, I love dragging out my birthday fun…any time to celebrate between Mother’s Day and Memorial Day is fair game.  

Picture this:  T and I are at the sushi bar on the end of a row of seats.  Right around the corner from us are the two people on a first date.  And oh boy I felt sorry for the woman – she was clearly mortified with him.  Body language never lies!  And it screams!  He was the longish-bang’d, cocky and somewhat oily type. She meanwhile is trying to be polite and not roll her eyes except on the inside.  Does Cher have a niece?  This woman would be a dead ringer for her.  Meanwhile, the guy would not shut up or ask her any questions!  When he turned to chat with the guy sitting on the other side of him she immediately whipped out her phone and started texting…probably calling the girls for backup, ha!  Can’t blame her.  UGH.  Haven’t we all been there one time or another?     

While T and I are enjoying sashimi, wine, chatting with the sushi chef whom we know fairly well (and doing some major catching up on life amongst ourselves), the dude around the corner is nuzzling his date and whispering in her ear about things, much to her chagrin.  He pulls away and chats again with the guy on the other side of him and I hear something like,  “…there’s an Angel on my left.”  I’m thinking, Dude, there won’t be for long the way you’re acting. 

Let me sidestep and give some random advice to any guys out there about things NOT to say on a first date. 

Gentlemen, DO NOT say things on first dates such as:
– “…restraining order…” 
– “The judge told my first wife that…”
– “One of my psychiatrists told me to…”

Just trust me on this one.

I really would love to go into more detail about all of this (T and I were both fascinated with those two but didn’t want to seem eavesdrop-y) so we stuck to our conversation and our incredible sushi. Good Lord, I swear the mention of “sushi” brings a Pavlovian response within me; wipe the drool from my chin!  Sashimi (raw fish)?  Bring it OWHNNN…as long as it’s the superior stuff.  And this place has it.  Oh and some extra wasabi please.

So here we are with a 3-day weekend already!  Had to laugh as this was the first full week of the new job, so I’ve only been back at it 8 days and already it’s Memorial Day!  I’m nowhere near feeling burnt out or ready for a long weekend obviously but it’s here so I’ll take it.  Might be a long haul till 4th of July depending on how intense things get.  The biggest thing for me right now is getting used to getting up earlier than I did when I wasn’t working, forcing myself to eat something first thing to tie me over till lunch, commuting and trying to absorb all the information coming at me at warp speed.  Names, roles, key dates/milestones and building floorplans.  And chowing down an enormous bowl of “alphabet soup.”  Meaning, learning a buttload of acronyms!

As I’ve written earlier, I’ve worked at this same large company before but in a different business unit and different campus location.  There are a lot of underlying similarities and yet the work is different.  How would I describe this feeling to my friends or new co-workers?  One day – BAM.  It dawned on me:

I’ve moved in with my “Cousins” !!  That’s it!

I even tried out that saying on a few people and they seemed to nod or light up and get what I meant!  There’s the underlying foundation and bond of family and familiarity, but other nuances, practices and habits are different.  Ta daaaa! 

The highlight of the workweek was getting invited out to lunch with 6 or 7 of my new co-workers who I’ve met either through meetings or general introductions.  I felt very flattered to be asked to join them for lunch as I’m not always sure as the new person how quickly I’ll be embraced or included.  And that’s no biggy, really.  I just rely on eating lunch on my own or with an office mate until I get to know people better.

But going out to eat and socializing is one of my favorite things to do (this is deep deep DEEP in my bones I’ve learned) and I think, frankly, it’s an area where I truly shine.  I love conversation, small talk, laughter and shit-flinging (meaning, teasing, not in the literal sense, heh). And it’s fun in this ramping-up mode with people who I sort of know professionally, at least after a couple of meetings, but haven’t yet seen in a social setting outside of work. I’m not yet aware of all the politics and other pressures in this team. They’re there but I’ll learn them in time.

We hit the British Pantry in Redmond (actually the Three Lions Pub right next door). And DAYUM I must have been craving some serious Iron or protein because I ordered a burger with Stilton cheese and pretty much inhaled it.  Red onions and all.  No meetings in the afternoon so onions are fair game! Otherwise, forget it.  And I learned what “HP” sauce is.  If A-1 steak sauce and Worcestershire sauce had a love child it would be HP (House of Parliament) sauce. YUM.  It has a great kick and is a nice change of pace from ketchup.  And boy did we whoop it up at lunch with some laughs.  I felt so happy to have this chance to eat out and have some time off campus with my new co-workers and give them a chance to get to know me a little better too.

I’m realizing one of the things I’d really been missing these past months unemployed is the general social interaction of being at work around people, working together, lunch or coffee breaks, all of that great stuff.  Maybe this new work assignment will be an opportunity to re-nourish that part of my soul. Eating solo and at home gets old and depressing.  And eating out is somewhat of a luxury when you’re on a tight budget.

We’re in typical soggy/drizzly late spring-early summer weather around here.  My good friend J and I were thinking about going to the Zoo this weekend but then thought that wouldn’t be very fun if it was raining. So we decided on the Aquarium – a first for her and a new visit for me after 10 or 15 years I’m guessing.  It was GREAT being in the city and out on the waterfront especially.  And kind of fun doing something “touristy” in your hometown. Thank you, rain, for not showing up! 

When you live and work in the suburbs it’s easy to forget the energy and faster pace of the city.  And I admit, I miss it.  I haven’t worked downtown since 1997 and don’t get into the city as much as I’d like save for a handful of times a year with a group of women I meet with for lunch and shopping.  Come to think of it, 1997 is the year I moved from the city to the suburbs too.  The company I was working for at the time moved from downtown to the suburbs.  And while I loved where I lived at the time in the city (a somewhat dumpy apartment but with a kickass view), I knew the commute to the suburbs would be insane.  So, I made the big move to the ‘burbs and here I am still 13 years later.  I sometimes wonder what would have happened had that company not moved.  Would I have stayed in the city and eventually bought some killer condo or townhouse?  Or would I continue renting?  

It’s fun being back downtown trying to remember buildings and street names as well as discovering what’s new.  Sometimes I have flashbacks and feel like I’m 25 again…I’ll see a favorite restaurant where the work gang loved to grab lunch or a watering hole for happy hour on Fridays.  And then I realize, holy shit, that was way back in 1992?  1994?  That’s not so recent anymore.  When I reminisce about these things with friends am I dating myself? Probably.

J and I had a great time hanging out, wandering around in the Aquarium and just laughing.  One of the things I really like about J is we’re both pretty easy going.  We don’t need rigid plans on where we’re going or what we’re going to do or when and just make it up as we go.  [I’m very punctual and schedule-driven at work, but off the clock I’m devil-may-care with my watch and calendar.]  She and I both love just diving into things we’ve never done before or just trying a restaurant on a whim.  And we crack eachother up with our senses of humor!  One time I asked, jokingly, “…can we take this act on the road and make money?”  Hmmm, probably not.  We think people would probably just glaze over and think what in Sam Hill are those two laughing about?

We grabbed lunch at Elliott’s and enjoyed the view of the ferry boats, the Port, people watching…I had a cup of chowder and incredible salmon and pesto sliders.  And once again, I inhaled my food. Delicious. When in the world did I start eating so fast?  And not feeling full or bloated afterwards?  I wonder if I’m making up for all those months I probably ate like crap (e.g. popcorn for lunch) and I’m slightly malnourished?  Lord knows I’m not going to waste away anytime soon.  Meaning, I don’t NEED to be scarfing down burgers with fries, sliders, chowder…oh and, ummm, chocolate ice cream with malted milk balls.  I justified this by skipping dinner, which was easy to do since we ate lunch around 3:00pm.

Yep, time to hit the treadmill.

True confession time here again:  one of my occasional late-night comfort foods is chips and really, really hot chipotle salsa.  Salsa so hot I break into a sweat sometimes.  Ahhh, I love this.  Sometimes I’ll add a small blob of sour cream to cut the heat a bit.  Hmmm…is this a reason for my weight gain this past year?  DUH…ya think??

One of the funny after effects of this late night salsa fest is I have really, really strange dreams.  Dreams that make me wake up in the morning already giggling.  And dang I’d love to find a picture to post in here that captures this most recent salsa-induced dream but I just can’t so we’ll go with the dog and cat this time. 

As is typical with most dreams, I was hovering at a weird angle above the action.  This time it was a whole bunch of pets – mostly dogs, but also some cats, llamas, parrots and ponies.  And they were a mixture of cartoon drawings and “real life” animals too all in a huge crowd.  Ah, the magic of dreams.  And in the background, some man was playing a banjo and singing with a good ol’ country twang, “Don’t name your pet Rita…” And damn, I wish I could remember the tune and the rest of the chorus now!  It was something about how all the animals in that crowd were already named Rita so don’t name your pet Rita because it would be too confusing as there are already too many with that name. 

Are you still with me?  Have I lost any of you out there?  This is one of those times where trying to write and capture a dream is just…well, there’s just no way to describe it fully. 

Now.  Lots of you who have been reading my posts these last few months know I’ve been through a whirlwindy roller coaster being out of work and interviewing, looking, searching so bloody hard for a new job.  And when an offer did pop the start date got delayed over three weeks.  Well, the taunting, torturous delays are now done and yes, I’ve got my feet under a desk again!  How many of you out there can say you started a new job on your birthday?  Well, I sure can.  And that was the best gift of all no doubt.  Marching onward into 40-something here…oh yeah!!

How would I describe this new gig?  Same place…with a different color of Koolaid.

I’m back at work on a large, corporate campus for a third Tour of Duty.  And I’m not going to name names or provide hints.  Those of you who know me in real life will know what I’m talking about.  If you’ve found this blog either on purpose or by accident…well, first of all WELCOME to fivenineteen.  And second, I’m going to keep things generic but hopefully not too bland.  Meaning, the purpose of my writing is not to necessarily praise or bash companies or people by name.

So there’s a certain familiarity about being back at work here.  Lots has changed in the years since the last time, but the culture, energy and rhythms are the same.  I’m in a totally different part of the company from a business unit perspective…a distant cousin a few branches away in the ever-changing family tree.  And I’m in a completely different part of the campus location-wise as well.  I had a seven-year stint awhile back where I moved around as many times in as many years as I’ve probably mentioned before.  But I hadn’t worked in or visited this part of the campus…well, save for one time when I’d left my hockey gloves in the locker room at the rink and my team Captain had picked them up.  He worked in this building I’m now in so I dropped by one day to see him and get my gloves.  But that was about six years ago.

And just like before, there’s a lot to learn getting acclimated and learning how to navigate the labyrinthian hallways.  No matter where I’ve worked on this campus, it’s taken a few weeks for me to figure out where the hell I am and not look like a lost dumbass trying to quickly get where I need to be.  What is it with the tricky floorplan angles and all?  Did the breakroom magically move since the last time I walked by?  Oh, and be sure to look up when entering a restroom at a building next door…lots of these buildings are in clusters which are mirror images of eachother with their floorplans to make it even more interesting.  I’ve walked into the mens restroom by accident in one of my past locations here a few years back.  Fortunately that hasn’t happened here…yet.

I soak all of this in with a warm smile and giggle.  I know I will get my bearings and everything will jive in time.  I know I will dig in, contribute, collaborate and drive in a style that’s uniquely mine and that’s taken years to refine…and has never, ever failed me.  I’ve zoomed in and out of shorter-term engagements many times since my last stint at this company wrapped up nearly 4 years ago.  It’s nice having that experience and quiet inner confidence within…my own personal pilot light.

But I’m also impatient and want to learn and understand everything RIGHT NOW.  Or yesterday even!! What can I do to add value RIGHT AWAY?  What are the goals, objectives and expectations of this part of the business?  What’s the weather report right now?  Are we in good shape or in hair on fire crisis?  Who are the key people to know?  Who are the drivers, the influencers?  And where are their offices located?  I might need a few extra minutes to find them in case I get lost or turned around, wandering the halls with laptop clutched in hand, ha ha. 

And where’s the nearest cafeteria?  One thing I’ve loved about this company (as well as the one I worked at briefly late last year actually) – the food service is incredible…and subsidized.  You can eat for cheap and there’s something for everyone.  I’m also hoping I’ll be able to eat more nutritionally now that I’ll have access to a wider variety of foods, salad bar, etc.  And hoping this will help with the whole weight loss dealio too. Honestly, when you’re at home most of the day and on a very tight budget it’s easy to slip into bad habits and not eat well.  Popcorn for lunch is not a good idea on a regular basis!

So, I hold a fresh cup of Koolaid in hand and begin the chug-a-lug yet again. But I’m also feeling road weary and battled.  I’m ready to rock but with a tiny sense of calm…I’m AT WORK AGAIN.  Is it something that could turn into a longer-term engagement or merely a welcomed landing on a steep, twisted flight of stairs?  Who knows.  I’m still getting job leads and even a few interview requests which I will likely dig into if they look promising.  I’ve learned to never, ever stop networking. 

And I kicked off the weekend with two great friends to not only celebrate my birthday but to celebrate the new job.  Given the past weeks delays, we weren’t sure it was going to be a new job start celebration as well, but thankfully it was, with just two days to spare!

I made a vow many months ago I’d be at work on my birthday and the Universe could NOT have cut it any closer.       

Umm…hi, everyone, it’s me again.  Yeah, me, the one who thought she’d be starting the new job on May 17 (check out the previous post if you haven’t already done so).

I feel like a starving soul who has crawled through the hot, dry desert for months and has been JUST out of fingertip reach of an Oasis.  And jacked around, lied to, deceived, misled all these recent weeks.

Let’s cut to the chase – we need to readjust the new job start dates:

Targetted start date:  April 26
Actual start date:  May 19

Silly, silly me for actually posting a start date before it even happens [but look what I’m doing yet again].  And I’ll be a damn fool if it slips again since I’m posting this date two days in advance. 

You know it’s bad when you call friends to see how they’re doing and the first thing they say when they pick up the phone is “are you at work yet?”  And yes, this happened today.  For if you recall my previous post, I was supposed to be at work today.

Instead, I got sent home after waiting two hours in the lobby while everyone under the sun tried to track down the manager there at CL2.  See my previous posts for the coding on all the factors here.

Fortunately, the manager IS alive and not lying in a ditch somewhere.  But we found out later he’d fallen very, very ill and had been ill for a couple of days.  So, given he apparently had zero backup help in the office he sent me (and one other new person) home.  I can’t tell you how unnerving it is to get up, shower, dress, drive to a new work location with adrenaline pumping after ALL THESE WEEKS of waiting for the start date, sit in a lobby and then get sent home after two hours of waiting.  Am I the only one who doesn’t see the INCOMPETENCE here??  Please do not misunderstand, as I feel badly when people get sick. 

I have ZERO patience when it comes to not having a back up or wing man at the ready to take care of business when one is out ill.  Or at least not to notify people that you’re out – even the building receptionist was at a loss as to what the deal was.  I tell you if I’d ever pull a stunt like that I’d be strung up by my toenails.

I am scraping my personal barrel to find any last ounce of patience that might be lurking in the corners of my being meanwhile.  And I do hope that in time I’ll somehow be able to look back at all of this and laugh.  For now, nope – not possible.  And if anyone reads this who knows what I’m talking about I’m not backing down in my raw emotions here.  I think – know – they will cool in time.

So here we are…3 weeks and 3 days (I think) behind schedule.  And how poignant to have the new start date slip – yet again, for hopefully the final time – to May 19.

My Birthday.

I’ve become a lot more flexible and adaptable over the years given all I’ve encountered and experienced.  Things change all the time – maybe like death and taxes it’s a constant that’s always there.  I’ve even been evaluated in job performance reviews on how well I handle change…”…stays flexible and adaptable with changing priorities.”  Oh hell, I haven’t had a performance review in over 4 years but I think that was one of the line items. 

I’ve also heard sayings, shot through with humor, like “don’t get comfortable.”  And I lived that out working for one particular company where I probably changed offices seven times in the seven years I worked there, on a large, corporate campus.  There was a good reason for the wheels on those filing cabinets!

And in this most recent search for work I’ve read countless job descriptions.  It’s now pretty commonplace to read/see things about dealing with ambiguity.  “Comfortable with ambiguity.”  “Navigates successfully through ambiguity.”  Let’s face it – as a contract worker, working short-term assignments, you’re expected to dive into the deep end of the pool and figure it out – FAST.  And while your manager might have the best of intentions, they may just not have the luxury of time to get you fully oriented.  In my recent experience, “training” is as rare as white tigers.

It’s been a long, dry road these past few months.  Other than a very brief 8 weeks in late 2009, I’ve been out of work since late July.  Yes, July 2009.  I’ve been very, very diligent networking and interviewing wherever possible, and the spreadsheet I use to log my progress is LONG, people. 

And I’ve learned quite a bit about staffing and recruiting practices.  Bottom line, they’re unpredictable.  How can they not be, given the heavy human element?  We are people, not black and white bits of data.  One of my past work assignments was working on projects within the staffing and recruiting industry, and it was very eye opening getting to peek under the hood and behind the curtain.  While it was a bit shocking learning what’s “normal” in that field I am very grateful for the experience as I gained a huge amount of understanding as to why things don’t happen consistently. It’s helped my tolerance in this recent job search for sure.  I’m not going to go on and on about the details, other than my hat’s off to recruiters out there.  I’d have flung myself onto a sword long ago.

So while it’s fresh in my mind, I’ve gotta recap the past few weeks.  Talk about wacky and unbelievable!  Yes, I’ve been through quite a bit in my day but nothing compares to this.  And as I’ve written in here before, you can’t make this shit up.

Let me set the stage here…we have:
– Company 1 (“C1”), where I worked briefly late last year as a contract worker.  It was a very short assignment as I was actually covering for someone who took an unexpected, emergency family leave. Granted the pay was about half of what I usually make, but after being out of work since late July I figured it would be a great way to get my foot in the door at a very respected, well-established company.
– Recruiter 1 (“R1”), an internal recruiter at C1.
– Company 2 (“C2”), a consulting firm who places people at multiple client engagements. 
– Recruiter 2 (“R2”), a recruiter who works for C2, my point of contact for interviews on behalf of C2.
– Company 3 (“C3”), a company where I worked for about a year a couple of years ago.  I was a full-time permanent employee, but my business unit was RIF’d so it ended up feeling like a contract assignment even though it wasn’t.

Targetted new job start date:  April 26.
Actual new job start date:  May 17.

Come with me on this recent goat rodeo…*cough* I mean timeline.

December 30 (2009):  all contract assignments wrap up at C1 (by design). Lots of hugs, smiles and handshakes – a job well done!  Yes, our team sliced through the ambiguity (there’s that word again!) and met our deliverables a bit ahead of schedule!

January 1, 2010:  Happy New Year.  Never did I think I’d start off the new decade out of work.

[The next few months are spent nonstop interviewing and networking.  I’ll fast forward to the “good part” starting in March.]

March 15: R1 emails me about an opening at C1 (full-time, permanent).
March 17:  Phone interview with the hiring Manager at C1.
March 29:  In-person interview with the hiring Manager at C1 and 3 others.
April 1:  R2 contacts me about a contract assignment with a large client. It’s a 6-month backfill for someone taking maternity leave.
April 5:  In-person interview with a manager at CL2 (the client for C2). They want someone to start around 4/19.
April 5:  Contacted R1 and told her about CL2 and asked how the hiring was coming along.  R1 explains they’re very early in the interviewing process and likely won’t have decisions made by 4/19.
April 8:  R2 advises I didn’t get the CL2 gig.  The manager went with the other candidate.
April 8:  R2 schedules another interview with a different manager in a different group at CL2.  This is a year-long engagement.
April 13:  Interviewed in-person with the other manager at CL2.
April 14:  Follow up phone screen with a peer of the manager at CL2 from yesterday’s interview.
April 15:  Got a call from R2 – I GOT THE CL2 JOB!! A year-long engagement scheduled to start 4/26.
April 15:  Told R1 I accepted the C2 position at CL2 and that we’d keep in touch – perhaps there will be another time to interview in the future.

Take a deep breath…we’re not done yet…

April 16:  My garage door opener dies.  Thankfully I was able to flag down a neighbor to hold the door open while I backed my car out; the door doesn’t stay up and open securely when I use the manual release.
April 18:  Filed my weekly unemployment benefits claim, my typical routine for many a Sunday.  My allocated amount is now depleted.  No problem, as I’m supposed to start a new job 4/26.
April 19:  R2 finishes all of my reference checks.  Meanwhile, I’ve filled out, scanned and emailed the job offer acceptance paperwork back to C2’s office.
April 20:  Garage door repairman replaces my garage door opener.  Most of that last weekly unemployment check goes toward this.  Good times.

Somewhere in the next few days I found out the job start date would be delayed due to getting paperwork processed at CL2.  So, 4/26 was a no-go. Targetted new start date slips to Monday 5/03.

April 29:  I go to C2 to pick up my laptop, finish onboarding paperwork and meet with my soon-to-be new co-worker.  We walk to a nearby coffee shop and get acquainted.  Love it!
April 30:  emailed C2 to confirm if 5/03 was still a go.  Start date slips to possibly 5/05.
May 3:  emailed C2 to check status about 5/05.  Nothing confirmed.
May 5:  still no updates.  C2 is calling the manager at CL2 but has not heard back.
May 6:  still no updates from C2.
May 6:  I’m pissed, panicked and frustrated.  This was the day I asked The Universe for help and my friend P who works at C3 IM’d me out of the blue and from there got me an interview with her Director.  Her Director and I speak on the phone briefly and he sets up an onsite interview for me the morning of 5/07.
May 6:  R2 and I agree that if there are no confirmed start dates as of 5/07 he will start submitting me for other opportunities with C2’s other clients.  I don’t tell them about what just transpired with C3.
May 7:  I’m awake, showered and ready to go interview with C3.  C2 calls and says guess what, the paperwork at CL2 is done and we’re looking at 5/10 “or thereabouts” for a start date!
May 7:  I call the Director at C3 and cancel the interview.  But I go have a wonderful lunch with my friend P, which was going to be part of the C3 interview loop anyway.
May 10:  C2 hoped there would be a start date of 5/11 but the final set-up transactions with CL2 are still not completed.  I’m feeling like a racehorse trapped at the starting gate.
May 10:  I call the nice people at our State Capitol to check on the status of my application for an extension of my weekly unemployment benefits.  They’d just received it and it would be a few weeks before I’d have a yes or no answer.  Yep, I’ve heard that before…
May 11:  Around lunch time I hear from C2 that they are expecting the magical data required for me and one other person to start in just a couple hours at CL2.  Start date of May 12 looks likely.  R2 agrees to tag-team with the manager at C2 to get the data processed if it rolls in after business hours on May 11.
May 11:  At around 8:30pm I get an email from C2 apologizing about the false start, but as it turns out they didn’t receive the magical data from CL2 after all.
May 11:  I don’t recall 100%, but it was likely one of those “popcorn and wine” dinner nights.
May 12:  I officially pull out all the stops and start re-networking.  Even R2 and I agreed to chat that day to talk about getting submitted elsewhere.  Yes, this is sounding a little deja vu from last week, right?  Moreso, this is fucking retarded…how long are we supposed to sit around and wait for basic clerical shit to get finished?  Push the damn buttons already!  Sadly, CL2 is somewhat known for backlogged, bloated processes but this was now beyond what anyone would consider reasonable.  I ate a big bowl of Crow with a slice of Humble Pie and called the Recruiter at C1.  Ummm…remember me?  You might be surprised to be hearing from me!  R1 explained that they actually hadn’t filled the position I’d interviewed for back in March!  And that there had been some changes within the group leadership which was part of the delay. She said she’d let a couple key people know that I might be available after all!  And I let the people I know at C3 about all this too.  Yep, C2 is at High Risk of losing me.  I’m ready to walk.
May 12, continued:  At about 9pm I got a call from the Director at C3.  I was a little surprised to receive a call so late but at this point ANY sort of contact -phone, email, carrier pigeons – was like manna from heaven.  I told him my start date at CL2 was delayed yet again and he asked me to come meet with him in person the next morning!  He explained the opening was a contract to hire position and that he’d need someone on the ground as soon as Monday 5/17.

May 13:  I get up, shower and go interview with the Director and some other people at C3 and have a great lunch interview with my friend P.  Remember, she’s the one, thanks to that totally random instant message back on 5/06, who helped me get re-introduced at C3 and this latest batch of interviews lined up with her Director!  In typical interview practice, I had my cell phone turned off. [Side note to job seekers out there – PLEASE be sure to do this or at least put it in silent mode.  Zero distractions while you’re interviewing!].

After lunch I turn on my phone while getting ready to drive home and it pops and bubbles back to life – it’s R2 (from C2) and the job at CL2 is starting…Monday May 17!  Absolutely, positively, for real!  Ummm…are you sure?  Yes, yes, I’m told this is REALLY for real this time.

The engagement with CL2 is slated to last a year.  And you can bet dollars to donuts I will make sure C2 adjusts the dates given the delayed start date as they’d promised.  The engagement with C3 would have been less than half the time and at the same pay rate.  If you had to choose between one year and four months, what would you choose, given your wallet is hurting? 

So while nothing is guaranteed, I decided to stick with C2 and start onsite with CL2 – yes the one that got three weeks delayed.  If I’d received and accepted an offer with C3 I would have had to go through all the onboarding with a totally different agency and who knows how long that would take.  Given my tolerance for financial risk gets lower and lower with each month I’m not getting a paycheck I wasn’t willing to take that gamble.  

So let’s put away the Clown Shoes, folks.  After a long, dry spell and some continental drift this girl’s going back to work Monday!  

   

Oh, and a loose powder I forgot to include in the last post – whoops!

Brows. I never gave a huge amount of attention to brows when I first started wearing makeup, save for a little stray hair tweezing as needed.  When I was coming of age in the 1980s, in a very general sense, the trend for brows was to keep them naturally shaped and not overplucked, a la Brooke Shields.  Not sure you believe me?  Check out movies and TV shows from the mid/late 1980s and you’ll see what I mean.  And when I felt like coloring in my brows a little I used a good ol’ Number 2 pencil.  No joke.  I read about this trick in a magazine and it actually worked with my skin and brow color!  Talk about beauty on a budget!

And while my hair color is naturally an ashy brown shade (now shot through with a few greys), for some reason my brows have always stayed fairly light colored.  I get my hair highlighted blonde regularly and never had to worry about it looking too “fake” having dark eyebrows in contrast.  But one day my hair colorist, whom I’ve known for years, told me “why don’t you get your brows tinted?”  It never had occurred to me to try this!  She said you know, your brows really define your face shape and yours are pretty light and thinner now so give it a shot!  I wasn’t sure I was ready to take the plunge so I went to the Lancome counter at the nearby Nordstrom and had an SA help me choose a brow pencil.  She was both hilarious and glamorous – a dead ringer for Star Jones before her weight loss, and spent quite a bit of time with me showing me how to use the pencil – which also had a small brush on the opposite end.  She did one of my brows and had me do the other one to mimic her work.  I admit I was a little shocked at how I looked, as I wasn’t used to seeing myself with defined brows but I was glad to have some help! 

Since then, I did take the plunge and start getting my brows tinted at the spa I go to for waxing appointments.  The same woman who does my waxing did my first brow tinting, so I trusted her given she “knows” me very well.  She assured me she was using a vegetable dye so it would gradually fade and wash out over a few weeks.  I really liked how it turned out!  And I realized it also saved me time in the mornings not needing a few extra minutes to use that brow pencil.  As you can see, I’m all about saving time whenever possible, especially on those workday mornings.

But with the Money Diet in full swing I decided to stop the brow tintings temporarily.  And on a whim I picked up MAC’s Browset in Beguile. It’s in the long tube on the right side of this picture.  “Beguile” is just a fun, fancy word for a light taupe shade.  This stuff is like mascara but for your eyebrows.  Unlike the Lancome pencil I first tried a few years ago, the Browset also keeps the brows in place, which is nice as for some strange reason a few of my brow hairs are starting to stick out. Ugh.  Department stores or maccosmetics.com.

One more loose powder. How could I have forgotten about this one?  Ah, the power of online makeup discussions.  I heard rave reviews about Smashbox Halo Hydrating Perfecting Powder, and this is a splurge I haven’t regretted.  Inside there is an inner lid which has small holes in it, kind of like a cheese grater.  It rotates to “shave” just a small amount of the powder at a time.  I love it!  As you know I can’t stand wasting product and loose powder is probably one of the most vulnerable for spills.  But this package design makes it easy to just use a small amount – and pack for business travel without worries of a powder explosion in your suitcase.  I use this as an alternative to foundation on days I just don’t feel like it.  It helps cut down the ruddiness in my face.  It’s at Sephora.

Contour.  This can be dangerous and unfortunate territory without great lighting, great brushes and a lot of practice!  Just like the obvious line of mismatched foundation along a jawline (yuck), poorly applied contour will look like you have two brown lines on your face.  I used to attempt this when I first started wearing makeup but more often than not I would skip this step.  And even today, I still do as it takes time and practice.

After reading more rave reviews I picked up NARS bronzer in Laguna. I actually saw this being demonstrated on a YouTube tutorial and the woman using it had skin about the same (pale) shade as mine.  She used the bronzer as a cheekbone contour and it looked great!  Normally I shy away from bronzer as it only succeeds in making my face look dirty.  However, this shade and texture is absolutely wonderful (and very layerable/blendable) for contour.  Find it at Sephora.

Stila Contouring Kit. This is in the silver box on the left.  I saw this demonstrated on someone who has skin even paler than mine if that’s possible!  And, I caved. There are 3 powder shades inside and they are very gentle and light – meaning it’s easy to layer without it going on too thickly. I usually just use either the medium or the darker shade.  I think the lighter shade is for highlight but I often don’t have time for that last step. I’m very impressed with the color and texture of the product.  However, the packaging inside is a little cheesy – there are small tiny lights along the inside lid border around the mirror which frankly don’t help at all.  At Sephora.

Blush. How would it be necessary for someone like me with pink chubby cheeks to wear blush?  I used to just wear foundation and skip blush altogether except for special occasions.  My “natural” pink seemed to peek through enough.  But after a 15 year or so hiatus, I decided to give it a try.  Blushes and contouring powders have come a LONG way in the past 20 years or so…it seems more products are sheerer, layerable and just overall smoother in texture.  I do think it gives a more thorough polished, finished look and I admit I’m still practicing and experimenting with getting it just right.  Again, this is where great lighting and great brushes are Your Friends.

MAC Mineralize Blush. I once again sing the praises of MAC (well, except for their foundations).  MAC makeup is an absolute steal price-wise for a department store brand.  Don’t get freaked out about their theatrical looking website or other displays.  MAC has a ton of wonderful, neutral makeup for everyday normal people if you look under the flamboyant surface.  And I always get great help at the MAC counter in the Nordstrom at Bellevue Square – thanks, girls!  They are always super friendly, helpful and attentive no matter how swamped they might be.  And when I feel like shopping in my PJs maccosmetics.com has super fast service and free shipping promos all the time.  What’s not to love?

So, the Mineralize Blush is very sheer and layerable – don’t be put off by the bright shades.  The one in the picture here front and center is called Gleeful.  It might be hard to see from the glare but it’s a nice, basic peachy-pink – another “jeans and a t-shirt” everyday color.  True confession – this shade is one of, gulp, 10 in my stash.  That’s how much I love it!

Laura Mercier Shimmer Bloc in Pink Mosaic.  You know, I hear people rave about Laura Mercier all the time but I have yet to try any of her products save for this one.  Inside there are 4 different, sheer shades that you just swirl all over together with a brush and apply.  It gives a light glow which I’ve used as a blush substitute (I think this is meant to be a bronzer as it comes in darker color themes as well). It’s $38 and probably not my wisest purchase as I hardly ever use it.  It’s nice but nothing to shout about.  Department stores or Sephora.

MAC Powder Blush. These are in the 6 palette at top center.  I’d consider these more traditional-style blushes than the Mineralize formula.  They come in different formulas from sheer to satin to matte.  I typed up a small table in Word, printed it out and taped it inside the inner lid for reference.  The MAC palettes are wonderful because they are magnetized.  And if you buy the blushes in just the basic pan format – not with the extra black plastic packaging – they come with a small magnet on the back!  Voila – you just plop them into your palette.  They stay put but are easy to switch around too. Yay for magnets! And yay for these blushes!  I actually do have one other palette of 6 not in this picture so you can say I’m making up for lost time not having worn blush in so many years.  These are really worth testing at a counter if you are not sure about ordering online; lots of the more vibrant-looking colors are actually very sheer while some of the lighter shades might go on matte and heavier.  All a part of the joy of experimenting!  Department stores or maccosmetics.com.

And I also included two of my favorite MAC brushes. The angled 169 is fabulous for getting contour under the cheekbones and the 150, while designed for all over loose powder, is one of my favorites for applying blush. 

One of my big “growing up” milestones was when I bought my first small bottle of liquid foundation in I’m guessing 8th or 9th grade – at the drugstore, smiling, allowance money in hand. I’ve always been obsessed with that flawless skin you see on TV or in magazines and wanted to replicate that for myself. Looking back on it now that was probably a little much for a 14 year old but I admit, I was a wee bit obsessed.

I consider wearing foundation as basic as brushing my teeth before heading out the door. And I do try to select formulas with SPF whenever possible.

Before I go on, let me just say my ramblings are going to be about liquid foundations, not mineral. I did briefly dip my toe in the whole mineral foundation craze and ordered some free samples from everydayminerals.com.

But after nearly 30 years of wearing various liquid foundations I just can’t make the switch. I tried, but I don’t have the patience for all the swirling and tapping required to get a mineral foundation sprinkled into the right sized small bowl or tray to mix and then apply. Plus I need to be careful to not let “powdery” products settle into the lines around my eyes and on my forehead.

In one of my earlier posts I mentioned that I don’t necessarily believe the best products are the most expensive. But given foundation is pretty much a daily ritual in my book, it’s worth it to spend a little more on something that really works – and getting the right match done professionally at a department store counter. Just like a hair cut and/or color – we wear our face and our hair every day, so why not invest in it?

So. Liquid foundation, if applied correctly, should help even out your skin tone without it looking like a can of paint hit you in the face. Yes, there’s a fine line there, ha ha. And ideally you should be able to just spot apply it where you need the most coverage…really it should just blend in with your skin texture and skin tone completely. Haven’t we all seen those unfortunate mistakes of a wrong color line at the jaw where someone’s foundation stops? UGH. So please, I implore you all out there…try on foundation in NATURAL LIGHT along your JAWLINE. Not on the back of your hand or your wrist – trust me, the skin on your hands is not the exact same shade as your face. Finding natural light can be hard if you’re deep in a department store or shopping mall. But it’s completely worth it to ask the Sales Associate (SA) for a small mirror so you can walk out to daylight and check it yourself (or use a small mirror in your purse). Might seem a tad silly but it’s your hard earned money and YOUR face so take the time to find a good match.

Sadly, my “holy grail” foundation, Lancome Maqui Libre in a shade called Delicate Porcelain was discontinued many years ago.  After 15 years – no joke – it was heartbreaking to see it go. Quite literally it was my go-to “jeans and a t-shirt” makeup.  It worked for any occasion at any time and it never failed me.  I remember when I first heard it was being discontinued I stocked up on quite a few spares, including some off the Lancome website and I stored them in the fridge.  Since that era, I’ve journeyed off into quite a few different directions for sure.

I’ll attempt this review in the picture order, left to right:

Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation SPF10.  This is the one and only Estee Lauder product I’ve been able to pull off.  For real.  Estee Lauder products are FAR too yellow-y on me, including blushes and eye shadows.  The quality/texture is great but if the colors aren’t right then forget it.  But this one in the color “Shell” is wonderful.  I can put this on in the morning and trust it’s going to stay in place without looking or feeling too “grippy” or fake. Department stores or esteelauder.com

Revlon ColorStay SPF 15.  I have the Normal to Dry skin formula.  I’m of the school of thought to spend more on foundation (meaning, go to a department store or to a place like Sephora to get professionally matched), but I have heard great things about ColorStay so I tried it out, using a 30% off coupon at a nearby drugstore.  I AM impressed…this stuff DOES stay put as its name implies.  It’s a little harder to apply than the Estee Lauder – meaning, you’ve got to work quickly to blend it as it tends to “grab” to the skin pretty quickly.  And it does require a little extra work to remove at night.  No joke – this is one of my favorite “do a little makeup real quick” foundations to put on before I go play hockey.  Again, to tone down those pesky, pink cheeks. Find it at drugstores.

Cover Girl TruBlend.  In trying to keep with my “try it in daylight” mantra, I took a package of this up to the window in the drugstore and held it up to my face with a mirror.  Not the best way to test a foundation but given it was a drugstore (meaning, cheaper) brand I figured it wouldn’t be a huge waste if it didn’t work out.  I like that it comes in a pump dispenser (the Revlon ColorStay does not), which means a longer lasting product in the longer run.  This one does not have SPF but if I wear it over a moisturizer and/or a primer with SPF I don’t worry about that too much.  It does tend to wear off and separate on my skin by late afternoon so granted it’s not my favorite of the bunch but I do find wearing it over that Chanel primer I talked about in my earlier post does make it stay on longer. At drugstores.

MAC Studio Fix Fluid SPF 15.  Oh dear, what an Epic Fail, save for the SPF.  As you’ll see in later posts, I ADORE MAC makeup.  But their foundations are pretty damn crappy.  This is part of my mantra where no single brand can knock it out of the park 100% on everything.  Shame on me for ordering this online without trying it first at a MAC counter.  There is twisted logic in their foundation color-coding…I ended up with NW15.  15 being the lowest (meaning lightest) shade and “NW” I think means “not warm” so it is cooler-toned.  UGH.  How cryptic!  Even so it goes on watery and uneven, plus it’s a bit too yellow for me.  I know some people have mixed it with other foundations successfully and I might give that a try at some point but that just seems like too much work.  Department stores or maccosmetics.com

Makeup For Ever HD foundation.  No SPF, but it has a pump dispenser and goes on VERY nicely.  This is one of the foundations I’d trust on a business trip, meaning it will look good and stay put in a variety of situations and climates.  At Sephora.

Makeup For Ever Liquid Lift foundation. This is on the far right of that row of foundations and probably looks worn out, gross and sad.  It IS a great product but this formula has been discontinued and that bottle is on its last legs – not very camera-ready I’m afraid.  I’ll keep using it till it’s gone or until it fails the “smell” test, ha ha.

Oops!  One got left out of the lineup here…yes, the shutter-shy foundation is MAC Studio Sculpt SPF 15.  Once again, MAC’s foundations are nothing to jump up and down about.  This one comes in a long tube and feels a little more gel-like than liquid.  If you’re looking for a full coverage foundation it’s worth checking out.  I tend to save this for special occasions such as a night out or when I feel like doing more dramatic makeup.  The texture can be a little tricky and even in that “not warm” NW15 it’s still a little too yellow.  It has a very nice light butterscotch scent, however!  Department stores or maccosmetics.com.

Ah, concealers.  I’ve used them under foundation mostly to cover the dark circles under my eyes.  Amazingly, since I started exercising more regularly I’ve found my dark circles aren’t quite as dark as they used to be!  Coincidence?  Who knows?  Although I do have a lot of products in these posts, I am a believer in ‘less is more,’ so if a concealer isn’t necessary, then why bother?

But there are times they really do help.  So with that we have…

Illuminare extra coverage foundation/concealer SPF 21.  This is in the small blue tube in the picture. The shade I have is called “Amalfi Alabaster.”  OK, not too descriptive, but I heard about this on a forum chat about foundation recommendations for super pale skin.  This is far too thick as a foundation but a couple tiny dots under the eyes are great for a concealer.  Illuminarecosmetics.com

Lancome Effacernes waterproof undereye concealer. I discovered this before learning about Illuminare and I do like both equally.  This one says it’s waterproof but to be honest I don’t need a concealer to outlast a swim or shower.  For everyday wear, it’s excellent. Sephora or lancome.com.

Makeup For Ever concealer palette.  These come in a variety of color spectrums – this one is in “No. 1,” the lightest shades.  Most are for dotting over undereye circles or other imperfections, while the light green on the far right is a color corrector for redness.  The apricot shade just next to the green can also be used to correct undereye circles but I tend to stick with lighter shades in the products above.  I don’t use this super often but it is a nice alternative and does blend in well with foundation without getting cakey.  It’s at Sephora.

And…lastly…loose powder!  Where would I be without this stuff?  As much as I love liquid foundation, I also love loose powder where it’s needed to set, such as on the eyelids and under the eyes. 

For years my favorite was Coty’s AirSpun loose face powder in the colorless, translucent shade.  While it’s a great value and lasts, the problem I’ve had all these years it that it’s messy and hard to control.  Plus it’s hard to pack/tape up for travel.

Given that, my splurge/investment more recently is Makeup For Ever’s HD Loose Powder.  It’s probably 3 times the price of Coty’s but the container design makes up for it.  It’s sealed inside the lid with small holes like a salt or pepper shaker, so you can just shake what you need into the upper section as you go without worrying about a big mess or waste.  It’s super fine and goes on great with a kabuki brush.  Definitely worth every penny!